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Posted On 05.06.09

I date. I dig Social Media. And I spend a lot of time thinking about both. Because the problem is, like I always say, that in dating and in social media, it’s the blind leading the blind.

So when two articles came across my desk (well, my computer screen, to be really precise) yesterday about dating in a digital world, I was reassured that I’m not the only one grappling with questions such as Do Technologies Like Facebook, Twitter and Cellphones Affect Dating Compatibility? and Has Facebook has ruined the first date?

Well, now, I think it’s time to pin down some answers. And that is what has inspired the latest feature of “The Misadventures of Julie”: Dating 2.0 - DOs & DON’Ts.

Each week we’ll tackle a dating situation made sticky by this wired world we live in. I’ll ask for your opinion. I’ll give you mine. It’ll be fun, I promise. And maybe we’ll even set some standards along the way. :)

Without further ado, I give you this week’s digital dating dilemna:

You meet someone. You become Facebook friends. You want to get in touch with this person. You realize that he/she has his/her phone number is posted on his/her profile. Can you call him/her using the phone number found online? Or contact him/her in a different fashion and ask for his/her number that way? What do you think?

Read on to see what I have to say:

Julie’s Take:

I say it’s a “DO”. If a person’s information is available, he/she should be aware of the potential that others will find it.

For example, I have my phone number on my Facebook profile, although only for my friends and those I have met in real life. On the other hand, my address is much more protected and a more select group of people have access to it.

However, use some common sense and take a second to think about how this person will react to your phone call. Does he/she know who you are? Has he/she expressed an interest in getting to know you better in any way? We may live in a Dating 2.0 world, but Dating 101 remains the same.

Share and Enjoy:

Comments

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RahulC
May 7, 2009 8:30 pm

We are living in the era of Web 2.0/Date 2.0. With facebook, myspace I think the boundaries are disappearing very fast. I read an article that stated that people in general are reluctant of admitting using of technology (eHarmony/ Match) to find their soulmate, however with social networks their dates can camouflage as friends.

Do you think if there is a network which will allow people to share with the world whom they have dated or are dating, it makes sense?

Linav5.0
June 4, 2009 12:14 am

I recently put a post on my friend's page where we were discussing a girls' night. I gave her my BBerry pin because I knew she had one. I put this info on her page knowing that everyone who could see her page could now see my bberry pin, and therefore request me on my messenger.

Low and behold a mutual friend, we will call "hotactorboy" added me and also sent me a message on FB, informing me of the add. I thought it was a very nice way to say "Hey, I saw your pin, and thought we could communicate more often..." We have chatted on FB before, but now, with this new method of communicating, we are able to chat more frequently. I have yet to plug his phone number into my phone, even though it is clearly posted on his FB page...I figure, if he wants my number he will ask, or call (because my number is on my page.)

Lina

June 5, 2009 9:18 am

RahulC,

On Facebook there are several ways to indicate when/whom you are dating:

1. Previous functionality allowed users to specify how they were connected. When my first serious boyfriend friended me I indicated that we had DATED in 2002 and that it was PRETTY SERIOUS and we were currently NOT SPEAKING. (Capitalization indicates drop down menu choices.)

FB no longer utilizes this feature, but they could bring it back in the future. (When Lists first came into existence, the information I had entered was used to create 'starter' lists.)

2. There are several add-in apps that extend FB's functionality to become an online dating site.

However, I know you're speaking to a larger point. Relationships are messy & disclosing that information online is a tricky situation. Thus, I do NOT think that networks which allow people to share whom they have dated / are dating will be successful. I think that the issue is too private for most people to reveal.

- Julie

Mike
June 19, 2009 8:47 pm

I still live in a world where using an online dating site is really, really weird.

Vivek
July 30, 2009 4:38 am

I think dating in social media/online is very similar to real life dating and it doesn't need to treated any separately. The bottom line for any action in real life dating is - comfort ... Are you comfortable doing this? Is you partner or desired-partner comfortable with that? Also, check out this online dating advice column by Dr Amy Johnson, a dating and relationship expert.

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