
I was reading through Eric Friedman’s Marketing.fm blog on the intersection of marketing and technology when I saw his blog post, “I Don’t Know.” I paused and pondered this. Such a simple phrase. It can be embarrassing and denotes uncertainty but you know what, it’s authentic.
I’ve been asked tough questions professionally and personally, when the person expects an answer. I usually rack my brain but sometimes, I just don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t have an answer.
Eric says, “saying I don’t know can be one of the smartest, empowering, and most liberating things you can say…I have seen people stumble through a bad answer or try to piece together a coherent thought when the clear answer to a question should be I don’t know.”
I will be honest, I have pride. Although I don’t think I have an answer for everything, when someone takes the time to ask me a question, I know they have put a level of trust in me and I want to answer it properly. I will say this, however, I never bullshit an answer. I know it or I think about it and answer to the best of my ability–but if I can’t, I say I don’t know. It doesn’t make me weak or helpless. I agree with Eric and believe that, “it is harder to say, ‘I don’t know’ as it takes a tough person to admit that.”
Do you think resorting to an honest answer, even if it’s a let down to say “I don’t know,” takes strength? How often do you find yourself saying, I don’t know?
The older I get the more I realize how much I don't know and the easier it is to say I don't know. I do try to answer tough questions to the best of my ability but I'll usually add the things I don't know to the discussion. What works best for me when I can't answer the question to the satisfaction of the inquirer is to provide possible sources and techniques to find the answer.
Also many questions require asking additional questions to get background and details. The quality of the answer many times depends on the question itself. Knowing which questions are necessary to be answered and to what degree is critical.
Finally the 'I don't know' can demonstrate authenticity as well as maintain credibility. The last thing you want to do is BS as you will find over time that if you do BS your credibility with your peers will diminish.
@Mark I would say (and probably generalize a bit) that young age is analogous to not wanting to admit you're wrong. I remember even as a teenager, I thought I knew more than I did. I know realize too, that I definitely don't know many things but it's opportunity to learn so much more. I think that's a beautiful thing to realize, I don't know, but to then find the answer through resources and friends. It helps both parties. Thanks for your thoughts, Mark!
I was told recently that "I don't know" isn't an answer. Answer the question. If it's a question that can be answered with facts - and you're wrong, then fine. If it's a question without a right or wrong answer, then you need to have a point of view.
Having a point of view, and not saying I don't know is what will set you apart from everyone else who doesn't want to take the time to think of an answer.
The guy that told me this said this to me after he asked me a series of questions about PR and social media. I have a very clear POV on this, but I was too scared to say it, so I said "I don't know" instead.
If you don't know, don't bullshit it, but give your point of view. Like I said, if it's facts, and you're wrong - then you're wrong. But the open-ended stuff - get an opinion. Have a position.
@Sydney I don't believe that "I don't know" isn't an answer, however, I agree with you that it depends on the kind of question you have been asked. If someone is asking for a point-of-view, then you have to have some sort of opinion. But, if you genuinely don't know an answer where there are facts asserted or you've never even heard what they're talking about, then answering honestly, "I don't know," is okay.
I like that you brought the POV point up. This ALSO asserts honesty and authenticity to say what you think, regardless of how you may be judged. Thanks Sydney!

I would so much rather have someone say "I don't know" than BS their way through an answer. If you don't know, just tell me you don't know. We'll both save a lot of time that way. However, in a workplace context, you can't just say "I don't know" and leave it at that -- in most situations, you also need to follow up with "but let me find out and get back to you."
When an employee tells me "I don't know" and just leaves it at that, then I'm forced to say, "Well, can you find out and let me know?" And that's annoying. So say it first, before your manager (or whoever) does!
I think the best thing I ever learned about working is that "I don't know" is an acceptable answer, but only when it's followed by "but I'll find out for you."
Work, just like life, is made easier when you know the right people. I don't worry so much about knowing all the answers, but rather I focus on knowing who to ask when the hard questions come up.