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Being unemployed has many upsides - free money from the government, sleeping late, People’s Court reruns - but it has major downsides as well. When you’re broke and hitting a brick wall with your job search, the last thing you want to do is rehash all the humiliation. However, you are most likely not an island. Your friends love you. So here’s a guide for talking to them about your unemployment:
- If someone offers to help, let them. Your friends are your friends because they like you. And when someone says they want to help, they usually mean it. However, they may have no idea how to help. So if there’s something specific they can do - proofreading your resume, giving you some contact info for that job recruiter they worked with last summer, just being there when you need to vent - say what it is, and let them do it.
- Be straightforward about your finances. If you’re too broke to keep going out to fancy restaurants, you need to be upfront about it. Don’t sound like you’re blaming your friend, though - instead of simply declining invites or waiting until the bill comes to fight over whose half comes out to more, maybe suggest cheaper alternatives or recommend another activity that you would both enjoy but costs less, such as a free day at a museum or cooking dinner at your place while you watch American Idol.
- If you have to, come up with a prepared statement. It may sound like you’re moonlighting as your own publicist, but if you really don’t want to talk about what’s going on you’re going to have to figure out something to say when you inevitably get asked. Plus, if you’re expecting what you’re going to say it’s way less likely you’ll have a shocked or unhappy facial expression. Keep it short but simple: “I’m actively applying for marketing jobs.”
- Leverage social networking. Don’t turn your Facebook wall into a giant resume, but you can use your social networking sites to your advantage. You never know what will elicit responses from people. If you mention on Twitter that you’re thinking about going to a job fair, it may turn out that someone you know has a friend who works for the company organizing the fair and can get you in without having to pay the entrance fee. It may seem small, but it could end up working in your favor.
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Comments
04.16.09
Great post! On your third tip, I would suggest to come up with a deal with your friends that they just stop asking "how is your job hunting going?" as they will be the first informed when it's going anywhere! This terrifying question is just plain frustrating for any job seeker.
I do agree that you should have a prep statement in case the inevitable question pops up, but I would not necessary keep it so short. I would try to squeeze a positive outlook to the current situation, such as "I have previously worked at company Y and now I'm trying to make my passion for X a career, and looking for opportunities in that field".
By just saying that you are looking for a job, it does emphasize the frustrating part of it (job hunting while not having a job), while it may be best to highlight your past experience and your current interests instead to keep a more positive outlook to the job hunt experience.
04.16.09
Sometimes, simply being there for a friend (on the phone or in person) can do the trick. Just knowing that you're available to talk can help.
04.16.09
If you're unemployed, I definitely recommend checking out indeed.com
It's the best job search engine I've found.
04.16.09
In addition to suggesting cheaper alternatives for expensive outings, accept the fact that you can't afford to do everything your employed friends can. When I was freelancing (read: mostly unemployed, and making very little), I could afford some get-togethers but not others--but that was no reason for my other friends not to do them. I'd just say, "Sorry, can't afford that right now. Have a great time, and I'll try to make the next thing."
It isn't fun, but it isn't all that big a deal, either--unless you make it a big deal.
04.16.09
@Kate: You should try eating ahead. Events are always much cheaper if you don't have to buy food. That way you can get away with just a drink, and the excuse "No thanks, I already ate" is valid.
Not going IS an option, but it's hard to job search when you're socially starved.
04.16.09
@Benjamin, you're reading too much into my post. I didn't say that I was socially starved--far from it. I just recognized that my friends didn't need to be subject to my limitations all of the time.
Eating ahead is one option, although it probably shouldn't be your only solution. Also, be careful how you discuss it. One member of our circle is an extremely picky eater who is prone to saying, "Well, I'm not here for the food, I'm here for the company." Believe it or not, that gets super annoying after a while.
Also, keep in mind that it's very easy to spend more on alcohol than on food. If you're going to skip some aspect of a social event, drinks are probably the thing that gets you the least bang for your buck under these circumstances.
And my freelancing days are behind me. It wasn't for me, and I found another job several years ago.
04.16.09
great post. I love my friends but I hate the inevitable "how's the job search going?" question. It irks me to no end especially because all I think about is being unemployed and how much longer I'm going to last.
I know they have good intentions, but it's a good tip to have a short statement ready. sounds lame, but it works.
and yes social networking sites (such as this one) are pretty great for job related advice and hookups. Networking, I'm finding is the key!
04.16.09
great post. I love my friends but I hate the inevitable "how's the job search going?" question. It irks me to no end especially because all I think about is being unemployed and how much longer I'm going to last.
I know they have good intentions, but it's a good tip to have a short statement ready. sounds lame, but it works.
and yes social networking sites (such as this one) are pretty great for job related advice and hookups. Networking, I'm finding is the key!
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