Harry Chapin probably said it best:

"

My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say "I'm gonna be like you dad
You know I'm gonna be like you"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home dad?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

My son turned ten just the other day
He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let's play
Can you teach me to throw", I said "Not today
I got a lot to do", he said, "That's ok"
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home dad?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

Well, he came home from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
"Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head and said with a smile
"What I'd really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please?"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

I've long since retired, my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind"
He said, "I'd love to, Dad, if I can find the time
You see my new job's a hassle and kids have the flu
But it's sure nice talking to you, Dad
It's been sure nice talking to you"

And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then"

The problem is that the someday never does come, and the time passes all too swiftly.

I think successful entrepreneurs know when to sacrifice and when to maintain, what their family can support and what it won't.

It isn't just in entrepreneurship that people sacrifice to be successful. What would you say to the same question posed to a salary-man? In the end the only people who will remember your name, with few exceptions, are your friends and family.

I look to my elder's for guidance. I have never met a person, even a successful one, that late in life looks back and says, "I wish I had spent more time working and less time with my family."

Working hard is important. Putting in the time is vital. It has been said that you get out of something what you put into it and I really believe that is true but it is important to remember to apply that to all aspects of our lives, work and family. You will get out of your family what you give ten fold.

Jun - you know my thoughts on this - both of our posts have sparked some amazing discussion. To the rest of the Brazen community, I'll share the link to my supplemental/follow up post on this topic. There is some amazing, AMAZING discussion going on over here:

http://www.lifewithoutpants.com/philosophy/work-vs-life-what-is-your-whi...

In short, I don't think becoming legendary should define who you are, being remembered isn't something that will ever define the person I am today or the person I become. I live for myself, and for those that I love and care about FIRST, work comes second, or maybe even further down the line, in the grand scheme of things, even if it takes up 80% of you time, when you take a step back, it will never be what personally fulfills you in the long run.

Jun,

I would choose to have both work and family rather than one or the other because it is possible to do. You have a great work ethic but the number of hours allocated to working does not necessarily translate to successful work. Working smarter within a certain number of hours allocated to work is what makes sense to me.
My advice is to set aside certain blocks of time for your personal life. As an entrepreneur your work hours are flexible. The time you feel most productive can be used to work. I will admit I have not lived the life of an entrepreneur so you can dismiss what I say here. However I still think I have it correct and recommend that you reassess your life goals. I wouldn't concern myself with being forgotten, ruling the world, history books, and your future generations at this time. Spend some time with your family and girlfriend. There's no guarantee on how much more time you'll have to spend with them. Business in one form or another will always be available.

Mark

I think finding the balance between work and life is really determined by how you define success. Once you define success you can really align your work life balance accordingly. Success also comes in many forms and though I agree working hard is the only way to create a successful career, working on building successful relationships (especially with your family and loved ones) is important too.

@Mark Fogel wrote about his brother dying and I think that experience is one that just brings you back down to earth and rethink your priorities.

I hate to link drop but I wrote a post about defining success after thinking about this post ALOT last night. I hope you get the chance to read it.

http://www.rikinontheweb.com/what-does-success-mean-to-you

If you don't have your family around now, your great great grandchildren might not just talk about what a successful person you were but also talk about what a bad family man you were and how lonely you lived.

Interesting perspective, but you may want to think about whether your family remembers you - and if they do, whether they'd rather forget. But in the same vein as the rest of these comments, whatever keeps you floatin' and boatin' :)

I think you pose a really tough question that many people go back and forth on throughout their lives. I remember a couple weeks ago I was watching an interview by the CEO of WPP (ad agency) and the interviewee asked him what's the most valuable lesson he learned in his life. He said that it was from a Harvard professor who was giving a speech on work/life balance. The professor said that the toughest challenge that a man will face in his life is finding the correct balance between business, family, and society and that once a man finds that balance, he can consider himself successful. The CEO then goes on to say that rarely do people ever find that perfect balance between all three aspects and that's something that he's been working on essentially his entire life.

At the end of the day though, I have to agree with some of the other commenters and if you value one of these aspects more than others, then you should be able to put more weight on that aspect and you shouldn't feel guilty or think you're doing something wrong. It all comes down to what you value most though and finding your own personal balance from that.

You can have both.

The challenge is to further "cultivate", and "authenticate" your relations with those you love. "Giving is not always about "giving up" resources (time, money, etc.). Giving "of yourself" can be as simple as "being yourself" and "being sincere" and "being authentic" in your relations with those you love.

Your family and your girlfriend know that you love them. The questions is: Do you love yourself? Crazy question isn't it? You may think, of course I love myself. That's why I am self confident. That's why I believe in my ability to build a business, etc.

But when you really love yourself, you also by extension love those who contribute to your better self. When you are centered in who you are, you can feel secure about your relationships. What I mean is that when you call to cancel with your girlfriend or your family - you should not feel guilty or fearful of their reaction. You should feel secure that they "know" you and what you are trying to accomplish. Most importantly, you should take comfort in the fact that you "don't do this to them always" and that you have given them every reason to believe that you value their relationship - even if you have to cancel dinner this week.

I don't have all the answers, and this balancing of family, friends, and career is something I'm always working on.

I recommend Deepak Chopra's "Seven Spiritual Laws of Success." It has helped me a great deal.

Best Wishes!

@Pylin - There is no "What if" for me. I WILL become a successful entrepreneur.

I live by this quote by Michael Jordan:

"It's not how hard you push along the way; it's having it in you to finish."

I agree with Ryan that it's really a life stage thing. If you're going to go "all in" with your career, it's best to do it early.

I moved away from my family for my career for the past 8 years and that's a lot of time to miss that I'll never get back. I loved my job and my time in North Carolina but, as my family gets older, and having lost my dad in my early 20s, I am definitely more mindful of the importance of balancing the two, even though I still have to make sacrifices to advance my career.

It is not about pleasing everybody. It is about pleasing yourself. It is you that has the feelings of guilt for being away. You have the longing to be with them. When you love and care for your friends and family and you are truly doing your best for them and yourself there is no feeling of guilt. Trust me even the average Dad working himself into in early grave is away from his family a great deal between work, yard/house work, and sleep. I have worked 12 hour days 6 days a week for what seems like forever. Add that up 12 for work 6-8 for sleep, 4- 6 for evrything else. My daughter (6yrs) doesn't cry for me when I am at work. She does how ever cherish every moment we have together. You have to make every moment count for both business and family. If you are unsure then you are not balancing things right. Think of your time with friends and family as your retirement fund. Set aside "20%" your time every week your "career" will never miss it, but over 30 - 40 years the love and times shared with family and friends will grow at a rate the stock market could never dream of. Trust me money when you are in your death bed will get you a nurse and health care, but 20% of your time will have your wife, kids, grand kids, and friends right there at your bedside with the nurse.

I find your post very interesting to me as it reflects to me as well. I had some start up before with a friend of mine, but it didn't succeed, mainly was not the hard work we put into, but it was the capital that ran out. So now I want to make something that can be done with little or no capital, and still be able to help me survive each month. Now I currently have a full time job and some other online ventures. Once my online ventures succeeds, then I will be able to leave my full time job. Of course I am still working on it!

woork and family is two things that can't be divided.to live our family,we must woork.

but..family is everything,can't live without family

There are a million jobs out there. How many families do you have?
The balance is simple - be there for your family first, at all cost. Believe me, coworkers will respect you more for being a good family man than they do for being their friend.5530 review