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Posted On 04.07.09

Oops! - Part II
Creative Commons License photo credit: Kyle May

“Sometimes people carry to such perfection the mask they have assumed that in due course they actually become the person they seem.” - William Somerset Maugham

Lee Ann Lambert at Living Introverted has written a post on the necessity of having a “persona“. The post discusses how your persona makes social interaction easier and protects your self. As I read Lee Ann’s post I asked myself - “Can you still be yourself and have a persona?” I think the answer is “yes.”

When I write for this blog I always hope to convey the importance of living life authentically and “becoming yourself.” Too many times in my own life I found myself acting in a way that was consistent with other people and not with myself. Living life as myself is one of my main goals and I’ve tried to to base all of my actions on my own self-knowledge.

However, living life authentically does not mean that you still don’t need to use your persona, and it doesn’t mean that you are “fake” if you do. Revealing yourself fully to everyone that you meet would not only be exhausting, but dangerous (psychologically). Giving someone access to the real you is an act of trust and is only meant to be given to a few. Having a persona is a way to protect yourself while still acting authentically. It is the way that we make our social interactions smooth and pleasant.

The persona is usually thought of like a mask. But, I think a better way to think about it is like “make-up.” A mask disguises us so others can’t tell who we are, but make-up simply accentuates the parts you want to show and covers up those that you don’t. A persona helps communicate what we want and allows those things we don’t to fade into the background.

There is tension between being who you are and being a member of a group. The persona helps us to do both. We don’t reveal all of who we are, but we also don’t put on a complete disguise. We can act in a way that is authentic with who we are, while still attending to the needs and expectations of the group (which there always is).

Unfortunately, there is the chance that we will use the persona to a degree that we will identify with it and not with our true self. When this happens, your persona becomes not about what you want to communicate, but what other people want to see of you. The danger is not in using a persona, it’s becoming a persona.

What do you think? Can you “be yourself” and use a persona at the same time? Let us know what you think in the comments!

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Comments

Zee
04.08.09

Great post and great timing. Public me, private me, school me, work me, For the past few years I've been trying to come to terms with which is the real me and how I can be a different person in each setting and still be myself.A big part of my acceptance was realizing that each persona represents some part of myself and the other part was simply accepting that a persona was necessary and not a betrayal. I haven't reached any greater insight, but just acceptance seems to be good enough for now.

04.08.09

good post!

I often think Personas can be necessary in a "fake it til you make it" kind of way. sometimes when I don't feel terribly confident, I put on a bit of a show about it until I truly feel back in my element in certain situations.
It doesn't mean you're not authentic. It just means, you're forcing a part of yourself out a bit more. Unless it's completely made up, in which case, as you pointed out, you run the risk of being masked.

cooper.olivia
04.08.09

I was always taught life was like the theater, it's not that the prom dress and make up is you, it's you in that prom dress and make-up for the evening because that is what the evening calls for. Life is not much different.

Amanda Linehan
04.09.09

Hi Zee - Thanks for commenting. Acceptance is usually a good place to start. I think a lot of people struggle with the idea of having different versions of yourself in different situations, but I think the thing to remember is that not all parts of you always need to be in the spotlight :)

Hi Mehnaz - I agree, when there is a part of yourself that you'd like to show a bit more, using a persona is helpful. Just because you are highlighting it now doesn't mean it didn't exist before. Thanks for your comment!

Hi Olivia - Thanks for the comment! I like that - "that is what the evening calls for." What's expected of us is always something we need to keep in mind - it doesn't mean we can't fill that expectation authentically.

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