"We get a generation of women raised by their parents with no idea how to cook, how to dress and how to keep up your half of the arrangement. "

What arrangement is this? Did women sign a contract that stipulates their need to cook and clean and pop out babies for us men?

You can say you're all for gender equality, which is great, but part of gender equality would include not telling women what they have to wear. Your post sounds like an infantile plea for women to wear feminine clothing so you can perv it up.

Tyler - I agree with some of what you are saying. I am actually ok if the girl can't cook and clean, becuase I can. I am also ok if the girl can't do the fix-it things around the house (which is traditionally a male role), becuase I can. BUT the one thing I cannot stand is that women these days don't see the need to take care of themselves and dress well. I challenge women to get back intouch with their feminine side. Wear that sundress now and then and look pretty! Men all over will appreciate it!

I agree...wearing pants all year is not feminine at all! Wha is wrong with being feminine? Must you compete?

Kazi

What's not feminine about pants? Have I stumbled into some sort of time warp in which Katharine Hepburn's 1930s attire is shocking?

Hahahaha! I really enjoyed this.

I am a firm believer in gender roles when it comes to relationships. I don't know about them being along artifical lines (what if he is the better cook?). But I do think clothing is a part of it, in the sense that you shouldn't wear each others!

Everyone is entitled to their opinion. I hope you find a very girly girl to compliment your extreme manliness!

The thing I see here is that you are generalizing and speaking for an entire population.

There may be men that feel like you do, but there are also men that don't. You don't have the power to understand what every man wants (nor what every woman wants).

On that note, I think, after sifting through the stereotypical language in your post, you HAVE hit on something that's interesting. Gender roles are shifting and we're ALL trying to acclimate.

I don't think women wearing sundresses and putting their hair in ponytails is the one size fits all cure for this gender confusion. But, this point: "I have no problem with men learning more about women and women becoming more like men, but both sexes are inheriting the WORST qualities of the other." Now THAT should be your next blog post. I would love to read that.

@Emily, the secret is to be yourself. Chances are good that there's a guy out there looking for you exactly as you are. And if you never find him, you're still yourself, whether that's baking or yelling at the referee--or your own unique combination of the two and any other number of attributes.

It's one thing to evaluate yourself and change things that matter to you, or things that will make you happier. It's another thing entirely to change simply because you don't match someone else's expectations. The former can bring you personal happiness. The latter is an awful lot like lying.

Tyler, you sound like a moron.

To those of you who commented intelligently and sparked good debate, thank you.

Tyler, what makes you think you speak for all, or even a majority of men? Additionally, do you think that criticizing the way women (apparently the majority of modern women) dress is intelligent or warrants intelligent debate? If you can dish out blanket criticism across the majority of a gender (and the sensitive members of your own gender), then you should be able to accept criticism of all kinds...including that I think you're a moron. In fact, you sound like you think you are completely plugged into the male psyche and know what all men want. You don't.

Your blog post was a really self indulgent, immature tirade because you want to find a girl who wears dresses and expresses their feminine side through the external feature. That is fine if that is what you want, but don't judge others if they want something different.

I don't think women have fought to be more like men. I think we've fought to be equals, and be respected for who we are. If you believe in equality for women, then that shouldn't come with a caveat and a criticism that we are less feminine because we wear the occasional t-shirt/jeans combo.

How are no other women outraged by this? Anyone?

Tyler, you might be a wiz at blogging, social media, and whatever else you do. Next time you want to objectify women and put men down for being too sensitive take care to word your blog post in the first person. You don't speak for everyone.

Jeans and a t-shirt is now sloppy?? So I'm sloppy because I wear jeans? So when I wear a t-shirt and skinny jeans, I'm pretending to be you? And I look manly? You can wear jeans and a t-shirt and be sexy and feminine. My boyfriend loves me in jeans, because he likes to look at my ass.

Since when does sensitivity equate to weakness for men? Anyone want to intelligently debate that?

I love all of you that have taken the time to respond to this. Those that have chosen to hide their identities and still insult me, perhaps you should take some time looking inward.

@Tyler, that's a cop-out. People insulted you because your comments, to them, were insulting. If you can't respond with anything better than "you should use your whole name," then you're not doing much to support or even explain your point of view.

KateNonymous- I don't have anything more to explain. I stand behind what I wrote. I wanted to spark debate and thanked those that did. We can't get into a conversation here with when most of the people hide behind anonymity.

@Tyler, I totally disagree. Not just with your premise--which reminds me once again why I am so grateful for Mr. Nonymous--but with your belief that identification is more important than content.

Of course, I think the two go together. If you're most concerned with externals, then appearances and names--real or invented for the purpose of posting--would be what you want.

KateNonymous- no, I thanked the intelligent people. Disagreement isn't necessarily a fun thing. Those that spewed insults are the ones I don't like.

JRandom42- thanks so much.

My identity isn't hidden because I need to look inward. That doesn't even make any sense. Ever think that maybe it's a nickname? My e-mail was given, so I certainly wasn't hiding. I didn't realize that we had to have absolute transparency on the comment section of a blog.

@the other ladies-by "no other women" I meant that I was surprised that MORE women hadn't commented yet. Apologies for not being clear.

@M...awesome comment.

If you had written a post on how you're disappointed that people in general dress sloppily and don't represent themselves well, etc etc, thats something to debate. But I certainly am not getting on board with a chauvinist who says he wants me to have equal rights, as long as I have them in a dress. Or that men who are sensitive aren't manly and need to "knock it off".

That said, good luck to all you commenters. I'll be somewhere looking inward, in jeans and a t-shirt.

Women are not servants that you get to have sex with. No intelligent woman would have anything to do with your sorry ass, so why do you get to dictate how they dress?

@Olivia, I think you're right, and that's why I mentioned bomb-throwing. It looks like he just wants to drive up his comments; they appear to be a rare phenomenon.

Okay, then. But on the plus side, it does appear to have resulted in more comments than earlier posts.

So back to what you thought: When you see a woman in pants, a part of you dies inside? That, combined with the "(awwwww yeah)" about sundresses, sounds like something that's headed toward fetishism. "Dies inside"? Really?

I'm an adult. That means that I wear what I want, and what meets my needs, both at work and at home. It's not about meeting your needs, believe me.

And in all seriousness, your post is, in spirit, something that could have been written by my grandmother--who was born in 1910. The irony? She wore pants, and couldn't cook when she got married. Guess how much my grandfather cared.

KateNonymous -Fetish? REALLY? Give your grandmother my best.

Olivia Cooper - did you even READ it? Stepford Wives? Come on.

Most of this has been said, but here we go anyway:

1. You begin with “I’m all for equal rights. I think ladies…have every right to look any way they want.” You conclude with “For the love of god please stop dressing like us.” Do you see the conflict here? I think this weakens any point you may have been trying to make.

2. You repeatedly use the word “lady.” The commonly used word referring to an adult female is “woman,” which is of course the counterpart of “man.” Unless you also frequently refer to men as “gentlemen,” this word choice seems odd. In any other post, this would merely have been bizarre. Given the topic here, your choice of the word “lady” appears to be indicative of your attitude towards women; you see them as fragile, delicate creatures and you don’t seem to be willing to take them seriously. Again, I think this weakens any argument you might like to make regarding gender.

3. You claim women have fought for years to be like men. This is only true if you think things like voting, owning property, and not being abused are inherently “manly” traits. I would argue instead that women have fought for years to be treated with respect, like adults, which is not the same as fighting to be like men.

4. Your entire premise here seems to be that women should be obligated to dress sexy for you. It is arrogant to insist that an entire gender comply with your idea appropriate fashion, and again I can see no logical reason why women as a group should be required to dress in any particular way.

5. In a comment, you say we can’t get into a conversation here when most of the people hide behind anonymity. I don’t see any logical reason why this should be true, as evidenced by the fact that were are, at this very moment, engaging in conversation anonymously. Do I really need to give you my social security number and mother’s maiden name in order to leave a meaningful comment?

6. As KateNonymous has said, you take issue with people who disagree with you, but you haven’t posted any kind of substantive response. Of course, you aren’t obligated to respond if you don’t want to, but I think a lot of readers would be interested to see the specific ways in which you disagree with some of the commenters.

…No but seriously though, can you believe some of the uppity bitches posting on this thread? Come on ladies, get back in the kitchen and make us a sandwich. Oh, and put on something sexy too…

@JRandom42, I think I would like your wife--and it's very clear that you do, which is more important! :)

@Evan, do you want mustard with that? :) again

@Tyler: Good one.

Errrr, ummmm, I mean I'm outraged. Outraged! Commenting on the appearance of woman is completely off limits. It's only appropriate to comment a man's appearance. You sexist pig bastard!!!!

(Oh, but I like sundresses too. The shame of it all).

I'm a little sad that I am so drawn in by this discussion to post a comment That's mostly because my gut reaction to this post is "Wow, what an ass, and thank god I never signed on for that contract deal!" That being said, I am trying deep down to believe that you are writing such leaning comments with the intent to incite discussion. Even if you do kinda believe some of it.

I don't think for a second that women should dress FOR men. Ever. I do, however, agree that as women we sometimes lose some of our more "gentle" attributes as we progress further along the company ladder. By nature women tend to be a little more nurturing, compassionate and "feminine" than their male counterparts (for some, that's all while moving their way to the corner office - girl power!) I for one definitely spring my step a bit more wearing heels with my trousers or a skirt with my Mary-Janes. Is it fair, is it right...probably not, but its the truth of how I feel.

Somewhere along the way we stopped being people who compliment each other and instead we've become people who try to be exactly like each other. The best relationships of any environment are ones in which there is ying to the yang, a balance to the counter balance, a peanut butter to the jelly. Why do women feel the need to be more like men to be successful rather than just being successful in our own right?

Please know, as a final note, if you see a girl looking hot in a sundress and ponytail its probably moreso because she WANTS to wear them and THAT'S what makes her hot, not because of some meat head staring at her with his tongue around the laces of his shoes.

Freud called, he wants the penis envy thing back. Turns out it's a fallacy. Women don't want to be men. Women never wanted to be men (Unless they're a transgendered man, ie. man born in a woman's body). We just like being treated with the things men get treated with 'most always... you know... respect, a living wage, being able to walk down the street without being catcalled... If I wear a sundress down the street, at least 1 time out of 3 I get some asshole honking/whistling/making sexual comments. It doesn't exactly make wearing a sundress enjoyable or fun. Why don't you try wearing a sundress sometime; see the sort of attention it gets you? (Ok, that opens another debate).

Oh, and also, just so you know: if you think women in this generation can't do housework, you gotta check out some of the men in this generation. And (no, seriously, trust me on this one) the I'm-so-macho-I-can't-wash-dishes thing really isn't cute.

Wow. I really wanted this post to be something MUCH different, but all I got was a sexist rant. Tyler - grow up man. I'm sorry I don't have anything more 'constructive' to say - but this is an unintelligent (offensive toward women) post. If you were fishing for attention and comments, congratulations - but your credibility has taken a huge hit amongst the Brazen audience.

Tyler - A little weak on the fashion history. Women have traditionally been required to wear skirts because it was considered too revealing (ie sexy) for them to show that they have two legs with a space in between. Historically skirts are a way to hobble women - you cannot run freely in a skirt/dress, climb if you need to ... skirts were another way to keep women in the house and under control. Please re-think your position it's not too big a step from requiring women to hide their physical attributes of mobility and sameness with men to asking them to hide their faces - I didn't get that you were hoping for that!?

Dude, I knew you were going to get slammed for this one.
I'm 29 and my wife is 26. You are right in that there is a trend that women can't cook nowadays, but that's more due to our schedules than role responsiblities. I disagree that women SHOULD be taught how to cook. What you should have said is that our entire generation should learn how to cook. You said you're not sexist, but this post clearly is in its intention based on the way it's written when it's targeting women's roles.

Role responsiblities should be broken up according to whoever has the time to do them, not according to "traidition."

Criag

The personal attacks being doled out are absolutely ridiculous. Thank for for being so passionate you thought to disparage me.

Honestly, I found this post extremely insensitive. Yes, the world has changed, and so have traditional gender roles. Men can now do domestic stuff and take care of themselves (more power to them!) and women are often hopeless around the house (I can't cook to save my life).

But to judge a person's femininity by the way she dresses is quite ridiculous. I don't wear skirts or dresses, because I don't find them comfortable. I prefer trousers and jeans any day. I'm Indian, so I do wear salwar kameezes very often, which is a "feminine" outfit, but again, more because they're comfortable. I usually don't enjoy wearing what considered in fashion either, because let's face it, they're not the most practical things.

Does that make me boring? Sure, a lot of my friends tell me so. Does it make me less of a woman or less "ladylike"? I refuse to believe so.

I've always believed people should dress for themselves, and what suits them. Not to cater to the whims of others, or what's "in", or what men like to ogle at.

"I am not offended by your observations, nor should I be."

@Rita, certainly you're entitled to your opinion. But "should"? Surely that too is a matter of opinion, which means that there will be differences of them.

I also think that a post with the genders reversed would be equally ridiculous.

Unsubscribe

@ Liza: No. Sorry.

Liza, it looks an awful lot like the "what happened to chivalry" type columns I've read that hardly provoke the same type of reactions.

Read "Wild at Heart" by John Eldredge.

Three years ago, I probably would have joined the chorus of "omg, this jackass." But since then, I've come to terms with my masculinity and embraced it. Gender roles have changed from an intellectual perspective, but the biology and psychology behind gender roles has not. Men are biologically programmed to view women as baby houses. That's just the way it is. No amount of intellectualization or saying "get with the times you pig" can change it. I mean, duh, men are attracted to women who look and behave attractive. The mating game is a harsh reality. A good personality is a plus, but women are not even in the game if there is no physical attraction--and the way they dress is a significant factor. If you are an unattractive woman who dresses and acts like a man that is your prerogative, but you're kidding yourself if you think that disparaging men for being pigs is going to somehow reverse their hardwired instincts. You're about to land in the man's equivalent of the "friend zone."

Brian,

As my wife has said on many occasions:

"I don't give a damn if they think I don't look like a girl they want to date. I'm here to work, not date. I care if they will pay me the same rate as the guys doing the same job, with the same benefits and schedules. I care if they work with me, and respect my knowledge, skill and experience, like they do with the other guys."

DO not mess with this woman!

Ziggy- Anonymous threats now? Gee, I wonder why so many people see feminists as violent man-haters who hide behind the internet. Good luck with everything.

@JRandom42: I guess that means your wife wouldn't care about what Tyler said.

@Ziggy: But what will you be wearing?

(I sure hope your comment was a lame attempt at sarcasm)

People,

There isn't much point adding my two cents on the issue itself because everything has already been said by the (rightly) enraged women on this forum, however I would like to point that anything beyond what has already been said is really only driving Tyler's traffic further. It is quite clear that Tyler has no logical or reasonable response to any of the arguments presented here and he's merely contributing token comments showing indignation at various irrelevant things like anonymity in order to show that he's still reading the thread.

Most (intelligent and decent) people do no think like Tyler. Let the thread die!

Alex

Let me clarify: women CAN wear pants; women should be able to do whatever they want to do, whether that means being the CEO of her own company, or staying at home. We can play on BOTH fields; it's about doing whatever makes each individual woman happy.

Alexander Lobov- perhaps you can let people think for themselves. Telling them not to comment on a thread that outrages them is far worse than suggesting women can still be powerful while not losing a bit of their femininity (dressing like a female IS part of that, as dresses and skirts are not gender neutral).

Besides, what do I get if I drive my traffic up? A medal?

Let people vent. While I disagree with many and think the insults are ridiculous, I fully support their right to say it. Maybe I made someone's day a little better by using me as fodder.

Kate- YES. What I think is happening is that too many females think that looking and acting in a feminine way makes them weak, which isn't true at all.

SR1- Yeah, I'm not sure people are reading what I said without reading the comments first.

SR1- hey, it's the internet...what do you expect? ;)

To me dresses = itchy annoying pantyhose, an even more annoying choice of shoes (heels, sandals, colors) and in the back of my head the fact that its easy access to my lady parts. And I'm not even a staunch femminist!

I'm really glad I found a husband who loves me just as I am. Manly pants and all. I wear dresses or skirts to weddings, funerals if I was close to the person who died and perhaps 1 spring event each year. There are a lot of ways to dress well and feminine without having on a dress.

Some thing Id like to say:
1 - Where I worked a sundress is not appropriate. They are usually spaghetti strap and showin far too much up top. Maybe with a sweater over the top?

2 - If women could truly be ourselves and wear what we want and be just as successful in various industries, you would see more women wearing dresses because you know what, some women like to! There would also be some women dressed like hookers and some dressed in jogging pants and a t-shirt.

3 - It takes some women a decade or more to STOP dressing for boys, why do you think 7th graders start wearing makeup, piercing their ears, wearing high heels and curling their hair before leaving the house? The issues you bring up here are as deeply ingrained in womens upbringing as mens "be tough/manly" and "don't show emotion". Hence the more violent responses which any modern man should have anticipated.

Personally I think you are responding too quickly and defensively to the people that call you a moron. Id just let those threads die and focus on the more interesting topics like:
1 - Are we really resorting to the worst traits of each gender, and what can we do about that? Who does the cooking and the cleaning in modern relationships?
2 - The decline of dressing well. Overall men and women are no longer forced to dress up to enter the working world. In the 30's the person bagging your groceries or serving you a hamburger would have a shirt/tie or dress on!
3 - Do women who dress very femminine get paid as well, or get opportunities for raises equal to women who dress more professionally? A sundress is very casual, many working women wear skirts regularly, but they are suit skirts. Does the guy in the office always wearing jeans get promoted as quicly as the guy who wears kacki's and a button down?

Alexander, your renewed comments are truly grating. And in following your advice, I remain undaunted by what you might have actually said or meant if it differs from what I read or understood in becoming pissed-off. What's good for the goose is good for the gander, right?

So, for what it's worth (which is nothing around here), I don't view a single comment as having "thoroughly and reasonably debunked [Tyler's] argument." To the contrary, the group of enraged that you actively seek to identify with steered across lawns to try and run this guy down. All for their own self-righteous satisfaction rather than any intellectually honest endeavor.

As for what is weak, you offering accusations bereft of any meaning to support your claim that all should avert their eyes for fear that this malevolant bastard be rewarded sets the bar. Thanks for your contribution. Heavy. And don't try to correct me. I like the freedom of adopting your approach, i.e. choosing to apply my own interpretation to whatever you said in arriving at an opinion of it. I choose to find Tyler's comments amusing, lighthearted and true -- the antithesis of yours.

If this post is not worthy of any more commentary, I am confident you can locate another pig pile around here to be the last to jump on.

@SR1
OK we'll agree to disagree about Tyler's comments then.

@Tyler
No one's trying to regulate anything, that would be impossible. And I like how you conveniently ignored the second half of my comment which was addressing your views directly. I'll repeat it for you because it applies to your latest comment also

"Femininity" is a complicated concept. I don't think that wearing dresses and skirts is a requirement of being "feminine" and just because they are elements of attire traditionally associated with women doesn't mean that pants, jeans, t-shirts or any other kind of attire are not equally "feminine".

"Women SHOULD dress for themselves, whether that means pants or dresses. I just don't think that they should think that dressing in a feminine way means they won't be seen as legitimate in the biz world."

@Tyler, this is not at all what your post was about. Your post was about how you think women should dress and behave. It was not about women dressing for themselves, or the idea that business attire is too limiting in some way.

And when you start off by saying "I'm all for equal rights," and then follow it up with a message about how you think women should appear and act...well, that's not being in favor of equal rights.

I think everyone should know how to cook and clean and (if it's relevant to their lives) take care of children. But there are studies that show that women still do more of all those things, even when both adults in a marriage or other relationship hold jobs outside the home. So I'm not sure that it's accurate to say "we get nothing." That doesn't seem to be the case at all.

And on top of that, we're slowly killing you if we don't meet your personal dress code. What a tragedy.

KateNonymous - Please point out where I said ANYTHING about how women should behave. I said that if women didn't want to do traditional female things, that they should be good at doing traditional man things. That's it. I made no assumptions on female behavior besides that.

@Peter, that's not his message. He says that, but the rest of his post contradicts that. As for studies, here's one link to an article talking about who does what work in the home:

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/06/17/housework.relationships/

A Google search turns up many more, but as you can see, it's been covered in mainstream media and does not require one to read obscure journals.

@Tyler, that is behavior. If you want to make a call for general life skills, that's fine. But that's not how it came across, particularly when tied to comments about sundresses and ponytails.

And you want to know why? Because you wrap up with "I want femininity back." That tells me that you don't really want women to be changing the oil or doing yardwork, you want them to be doing "feminine" things.