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People love to ask our generation what we want to be when we grow up. My response used to be, “I’m graduated college. I’m not grown up?”
In the recent years, I’ve quickly realized that my assumption that a college degree does not a grownup make was incorrect. In fact quite the opposite. After all, college, at times was the equivalent to elementary school - naps, cereal for dinner, ice cream for lunch, rain boots, and realizing that you “stayed up past bedtime” made me often feel as vulnerable as a five year old. More so when I moved out on my own in 2006 - no more university housing meaning I didn’t have to worry about bills, utilities are now outlined on a spreadsheet with their dates due. A spreadsheet that fiance and I take turns looking at on a regular basis so we know when we need to pay what.
So now that my career seems to be running like a metro train (currently a derailed metro train) leaving me confused and disoriented and under funded, I’ve been thinking of “what I want to be” when I grow up.
Each day my goals change. Stay at home Mommy Blogger. Flight attendant (I’d love to travel). Writer. Sales lady. Volunteer extraordinare (I actually just signed up to be a volunteer with a rescue organization for dogs). Teacher. Track and Field coach. Lobbyist. Politician. Teacher. I go back and forth on a regular basis. Because the truth is? I don’t know.
I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.
Funny how five years ago I had my life planned out - I was going to move to DC, work on The Hill, go to grad school for my MPA, move home, run for State House. Of course I wanted to get married and have kids in there too. That wasn’t planned.
After a few heart breaking interviews on the Hill, and a few horrible bosses later, I’m still not sure if Politics is where I want to go. I think it is, but sometimes I feel like I’m taking a back seat to my fiance’s career that is going full steam ahead, and it saddens me to feel like that - I’m not but supportive of him, he’s made himself and has his dream job - I really couldn’t be prouder of him. But me? Where do I want to go? What do I want to do? I thought I knew, I thought I had direction, I thought I had a better sense of it all.
But now? I really have no idea.
But maybe, just maybe I don’t need to know. For now I want to have a job I enjoy going to as a start, a job that will lead me in a direction I’ll be happy with in five years. A job that will help me get my feet back on the ground and maybe have my ducks all in the same pond because right now? They’re all over the place.
So the next time someone asks me “what do you want to be when you grow up?”
I’m going to answer it honestly. “I don’t really know. I’m trying to figure that out.” (Ok, I probably wouldn’t say that in a job interview….)
Because I’m only 25. I’m happy. And once I figure out what it is I want to do and where I want to go? I’ll be going full steam ahead with all the ambition I still fear I lost. It’s not lost though, it’s just in a box, being put on hold until I find something that really makes me happy.
How about that for an answer: “I want to be happy. I want to have a job I enjoy. I want to raise a family that is happy and healthy and prosperous. I want to live the American Dream. ” That’s what I want to be when I grow up. I want to be happy.
What do you want to be when you grow up???
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Comments
02.22.09
Being happy is a worthy goal.
Even though we may be young when we graduate from college we are grown up and should start thinking of ourselves that way. Just because one dream or another isn't working out, or the dream changes, doesn't mean the person who owns the dream isn't grown up. Knowing not what you want to do is not a trait owned by youth.
I think it's understanding that despite the fact we may not be where we thought, planned, or even where we dreamed we'd be we are grown-up, and a grown-up can, and will probably be, many different things over their lifetime.
02.22.09
This is a great comment. I think that on places like this website, people sometimes forget that the bottom line is not to be ambitious or wildly successful or incredibly rich, but simply to do what makes you happy. I don't think we all have to be chasing after some wild and crazy ambitions, constantly pushing ourselves to do things just in order to achieve some elusive sort of success. Happiness is the bottom line, and passion, and contentment. I think people sometimes forget to just find something that leaves them content.
For me, I want to "be" someone who is following their passions always. I feel like it's been my struggle to find something I'm truly passionate about...and finally, I think I've found something. I don't want to let it slip out of my grasp, now that I've found it.
02.22.09
The next time you get asked the question, answer it with a question: "Does anyone know?" The questioner, if they are honest, will have to admit that very few people know what they want to be when they grow up. That doesn't mean they are therefore destined to do nothing great.
02.23.09
Great post!
I totally agree with being happy. I, too, thought I had my happily-ever-after all planned out, until I scored an internship right before senior year doing my supposed dream job. Guess what - I hated it after the 1st week! I tried to like it the whole summer, but the reality was it wasn't something that I could be happy making a career out of.
I graudated and got a job in finance that I somewhat enjoy (ok, so it's tolerable and has health insurance). I decided that the job was secure in this unstable time so I'd stay put and headed back to school part time for my MBA while I have the time.
I'm still unsure what my ultimate goal will be, but I'm not pushing it. I have 7 semesters of time to figure that out. And besides, who knows what life will throw my way in there!
02.23.09
@ LPC: That's very true. A lot of people do not know what they want, so they settle for what's tolerable in the name of stability or salary. I have more than a couple of coworkers who admitted this to me.
@ Heidi: The fact that you are even stopping to ask yourself what is it you really want is (and eliminating what you don't want) a great step towards acheiving the happiness you desire. I still feel lost about what kind of career I want and I am in my 20s too. But like you, I know what my end goal is.
Being lost sucks, but don't be discouraged! Best of luck to you!
02.23.09
Just wait untill you start realizing that all the things you have been taught throughout your life has been a load of !@#4.
Thats when it gets fun.
The "GAME" out here is hard but fair. you just have to focus on what makes you happy and go from there
02.23.09
This post reminds me of all things people sometimes get wrong when it comes to life. The rigid way of thinking involves some sort of elusive and definite finality with the world of being "grown-up."
It leads one to think that once you are "grown up" - you have no other choices, you can't change your mind, reevaluate your goals or go backwards to figure it all out. I think as long as you are determined to grow and move (forward) - being "grown up" can take a back seat.
02.23.09
An excellent book that you should read is the Quarterlife Crisis by Alexandra Robbins. It was written a couple of years ago, but I think still has great insight for people struggling a bit during this time in their life. I cannot remember where I saw it, but I believe our generation is the first to say that we are not yet 'grown up' after college.
While our generation seems to accept this idea, I do not think that older generations have quite caught on. As a result, its tough (I've found) to actually solicit advice from the older generations about how to resolve the problem of what you want to be when you grow up because they assume we've already grown up. That's why the Quarterlife Crisis book is such a great start because it brings together about 300 opinions of only young professionals, and you can see how they are dealing with many of the same transition problems to full adulthood.
Hope it helps.
04.01.09
Cheers to you for admitting that you just don't know and that's okay! I am the first person in my family to graduate college and also the oldest of my generation - lots of pressure on my shoulders. I announced in the second grade that I wanted to be a writer - I wrote in endless diaries, got a few poems published, received a Young Authors award, represented my school in writing contests, graduated with a professional writing degree from college and was employed post-graduation as a writer. So I write. That means I'm all grown up now doesn't it? Not so much! And as much as it originally terrified me to say so, I'm perfectly fine now saying I have aboslutely no idea what I want to do with my life as a "grown up". I did all the "right" things: was highly involved in extra-curricular activities in high school, graduated on the Dean's list in college, moved across the country, miraculously landed a job in my field with decent pay a few months after graduation, moved back across the country, got an apartment and got married. On paper I sound like the perfect grown up and that I've accomplished everything I wanted.
Then in December I lost my job. I was no longer a "writer" nor was I able to say that I was on my way (going back to school was NOT an option because of finances). So now what? I'm all grown-up; I should have had a backup plan, right? Wrong. I'm only 24. I have no clue what I'm doing with my life and the only thing I was certain of was ripped out from under me. So now I'm faced with the question: "what are you doing now?"
I've come up with a great answer - "I'm figuring ME out." After all I was so stuck on one course since second grade that I never considered testing out other paths. And what could be more grown-up than weighing all my options?
10.07.09
It is true that more and more people still unsure about their carrier path even after college. Not only twenty something, but many thirty and ever forty year olds are unsure about what they really want to do. I think for quite a while parents were telling their kids to study, get a well paid job, not taking into account what their kids really enjoy doing. It is actually quite scary how many teenagers want to become doctors, lawyers or bankers just because they will have a good salary. You are right to think that you need enjoy doing your job and be happy, the rest will fall into place. Good luck! Jill from Puppy food online.
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