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That is how I made my first ever big post-college career decision this week: by reminding myself of a friend who told me once: “If you’re not growing, you’re dying.”
Well, I started my job hunt. I looked at some really interesting jobs with the federal government, a couple awesome think tanks, a couple political magazines that I love. I started applying for some, but still had this nagging sense of anxiety about the whole thing.
Learning to embrace uncertainty and instability is probably one of the hardest lessons I have had to learn the last few months. Because the one thing no one tells you about graduating from college is that it requires this whole shift in your mindset of the last 15 years: there’s no straight, narrow, certain path anymore. Your whole life is sort of open and uncertain until you make the conscious decision to do something that makes your life more stable (get married, pick a more permanent job, buy your first home…).
And that creates a comfort zone. Things are stable(r). You know where you’re going, which can be great for some people. Probably not for me though.
While I was feeling all this pressure to keep up with my friends and their Big 4 interviews and career fairs and whatever, I had the exciting realization that I have the whole world at my feet and all this time for my own adventures, to really do what I love. It doesn’t have to be scary to have your life seem uncertain; it can be really exciting.
So that is why I stopped my job hunt for now, stopped scouring job ads every day and agonizing over cover letters — for now at least.
Because in June, I am thrilled to be moving to Cambodia. And I’m putting my ass on the line for a startup NGO that I will be working with for 4 months.
(If you want to hear something really entertaining, you should ask me what happened when I called up my parents and told them my decision. All they heard were the words “startup,” “NGO,” and “cambodia.” Three things that make them think: our daughter is crazy. When people tell me I am crazy though — which happens often– I usually take that as a good sign.)
There’s nothing at all stable about it. I am going to pack two suitcases and move to what my parents consider a “third-world” country. There’s definitely nothing stable about working for an NGO still in its first year, that is in desperate need of revenue. I’ve read enough of other people’s cash-strapped startup tales to know that this is a risky decision — but also one I know I won’t regret. Because at the end of the day, I am so excited and passionate about the decision I’ve made. And if you’re not passionate about what you’re doing, why even bother?
I don’t really want stable, I want to live on the edge. I want to take risks with my life, and turn them into huge learning opportunities. I definitely don’t want to look back some day and regret that I didn’t do something crazy when I had the chance.
If you’ve established a comfort zone, it’s easy to just chill there. It’s fun, kind of. But boring. So get out of it — because if you stay there, you’re not growing, you’re dying. If you’re hanging out with the same people, doing the same routine every day — do something new. Do something crazy. Do it because you know you will grow from it, not just for the sake of your resume. And if you don’t want to grow, something is wrong with you.
So yeah, my wonderful, good, stable parents are worried because they don’t know where I’ll end up. And they definitely think that I am “lost” on my way to my real career.
But I have to say… eff destinations. I’m in it for the journey.
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Comments
02.20.09
Sounds like a real adventure! At one point I couldn't believe I would do anything besides work for NGOs in my life. What greater calling? But then I realized someone has to fund them, and that someone is usually a stable employee who works 8-7pm at the local Big Four office (or wherever) to make it possible.
Now that I've done a couple of years of service abroad, it's time for me to do the funding. Doesn't have to be that way for everyone, but considering my family and other goals, it works out fine for me, and I'm happy to fund you. :)
Great post! Who wouldn't be excited for you!?
02.20.09
Good for you! While it's always good to have some kind of plan, goal, destination in mind, you miss out so much if you don't pause to appreciate the journey. Truer still: once you reach the destination, what does it matter if you can't appreciate all that it took to get there?
That transition between school and the working world is one of the most difficult, yet rarely talked about. I think that students are so conditioned to having a set schedule, automatically having mentors in their professors, and having opportunities that it's a real shock to the system upon graduating. All of a sudden you're thrust from a campus of thousands to a world of millions, and once again you have to find your place and make your mark.
It sounds like you've got the right mindset. Now is the time to grow, learn, take chances, and find out who you are as an adult. I have every confidence you'll do just fine ;) Wishing you the best of luck!
02.20.09
Inspiring post! Very insightful observations about how to recognize your comfort zone, if only as a means of forcing yourself to step outside of it.
I wanted to comment on the notion that some milestones add certainty to life (marriage, buying a house, etc). As a 27 year old who recently got engaged and bought his second home, I can add that these milestones gave me less certainty that my path was the one I wanted. What they gave me was a chance to take stock of my life and measure myself. Those decisions were scary. Yet, as you have eloquently said--scary stuff is good: I was out of my comfort zone. I had to look in the mirror and ask hard questions about what I wanted out of my 20s, out of my life, out of this place I put roots in.
Throughout it all, I felt my self growing--up, older, in dimensions different from my friends. I wasn't dying, and I wasn't getting any more certain about where I was going. I just knew who I wanted to grow with and where I wanted to be. And once I knew, I didn't want to waste any time doing anything else.
I appreciate your writing and your views on transitioning into the post-college life. On my blog, I'm trying to figure out and share with others the skills we learn in school that translate into "the real world"--both the professional and personal kinds. I'd love it if you stopped by:
phdetails.wordpress.com
All the best-
Andrew Stuhl
02.20.09
@FrugalCPA - thanks! Where/what did you do abroad?
@Susan - I think you are totally right about having a set schedule in place our whole lives and not having that when you graduate. That's been so strange to even adjust to thinking about, but I'm starting to like it.
@Andrew-- interesting point about those milestones making your life certain. I guess I only speak from watching the experience of my parents and a few others, but from watching them it always seemed pretty straightforward that once people married and bought home and started having kids, their lives became far more certain and they were heading in one straight direction now. Good to hear that maybe I am wrong about that!
02.20.09
Nisha,
Great post. Will be tweeting it on @careerealism & @jtodonnell shortly.
Any chance you'd be up for writing a post about your experience when you get there? I'd love to hear first impressions and I know that like the Brazen readers, our readers over at Careerealism.com (college students and recent grads) would love it too!
This site might be of interest. It's a blog by a young journalist who packed it up and moved to Cambodia to work for a newspaper. Very interesting stuff...
Good luck!
02.20.09
@JT -- Thanks for tweeting about it! I will definitely be posting about it when I get there, and probably throughout the whole thing as well. And thanks for the link to the blog, I'll definitely check it out.
02.20.09
Enjoy yourself while you can. The time in another country will help you appreciate what you have here. Go find yourself
dont get caught up in the Journey Of the Broke "JOB".
Find out who you are and what you want to be when you grow up.
I wish I was in your shoes
02.20.09
Nisha - That's awesome.
I like to take risks, too, and am moving this summer despite having a great network, friends, etc. where I am. People think I'm crazy for leaving the "stability" but I always think "in 20 years, what am I going to remember?" And I'm quite certain making a life-changing move will be more significant than just doing the same thing I have been.
I'll look forward to hearing more about your experiences!
02.20.09
Rattlerman -- thanks, that's what I'm trying to do anyways, since I know I'll settle down eventually and not be able to do stuff like this later...
Nicole -- where are you moving? And I totally agree with you, that was one thing I actually thought about a lot when I was deciding whether to do this Cambodia thing or not -- when I look back 20 years from now will I regret not doing it? And I knew what the answer was...
02.20.09
Wow, congrats Nisha! That is an amazing opportunity. Having been in a third world country before, I have to say that if you visit any third-world country for even a week, you really come back to the US with your eyes wide open. So four months, I can't imagine! Can't wait to hear more about it. I really liked your message about moving out of you comfort zone.
I wish you all the luck in the world.
02.20.09
Looking back, I can see the idea of growth and challenge being a part of life. However, since we're all dying a day at a time, no matter how much we grow, the saying is a bit misleading.
Constant growth and constant challenge seems like constantly climbing the mountain, never slowing down, much less stopping to catch your breath, enjoy the view, or marvel at how far you've come. There's no time for introspection or analysis, because there's the next level to be reached.
Enjoy your growth, but take time out from the constancy of it to meditate on it and savor the things you've learned, the places you've been and the people you've met. That's where you'll find the real value of growth.
02.20.09
I totally commend you for throwing caution to the wind and doing something more meaningful. The experiences you have in Cambodia will be with you for the rest of your life, and you will probably learn more than you have in any classroom. Plus, who's to say that you would have stability in your life if you stayed and continued your job search? You could end up applying for 80 something jobs like I did last year, and being frustrated and unemployed for months after graduation. (Thankfully, after all that craziness, I now have a great job that I love!)
When you look back at your life years from now, I think you'll be glad that you took the leap and did something "unstable." You'll be able to say, I had the opportunity to go work in Cambodia, and I took it...the road less traveled.
02.20.09
Great post! And good luck on your journey that is sure to be interesting. You put into words things I've been feeling. The thing I fear most is that I'll wake up one day, be middle aged and wonder what the heck I wasted the first half of my life on? You have to go through certain life experiences to grow and challenge yourself, be a little fearless. And there is no time like self discovery than your twenties. You have the rest of your life to work, right?
02.20.09
Nisha, you rock! I hope you have an amazing time and do even more amazing work! We talking on Twitter about student loans being a hindrance, but I'm so pumped that it isn't stopping you from taking this job! I'm curious to how you're going to make it happen, but I'm sure you will :-)
02.20.09
Valerie -- thanks! I have travelled to a handful of developing countries but never for very long, so I'm sure living and working there is going to be a completely different experience.
jrandom -- what a ray of sunshine you are ;) I'm not worried -- I'm sure I'll make time to catch my breath.
Samantha -- yeah man I am so excited about the road less travelled. And you're definitely right that there's no guarantee of stability here either-- I could continue my job hunt here but there's no guarantee I'd find anything in this economy!
Shenneth -- I definitely agree this is the time for self discovery, I'm trying to make the most of it as much as I can for now!
JR -- Thanks! I sort of have a plan for the loans. Not sure if its going to work out....but I have hope :)
02.20.09
Nisha - you are inspirational. Thanks for sharing this.
02.20.09
Excellent Post! Sounds like you are in for a real adventure, but isn't that what life is supposed to be in the first place?! I share your desire not to look back on life and wonder what could have happened had I not let fear get in the way.
Great post and have fun!
02.20.09
Jamie- you are sweet.
LaTosha -- hell yea! I believe we should all make life as much of an adventure as possible :)
02.20.09
It's true that we're all dying, whether or not we grow. So why not grow?
Have a great time. Do things you could never do in your current daily life. Learn everything you can about the people, both as individuals and as members of larger cultures. Even if the NGO fails and you come home before you expect to, you'll have experiences (both life and career) that you probably wouldn't have gotten any other way.
02.21.09
This was great! I'm in the same situation, myself. I've skipped out on the corporate world, and I'm spending a year overseas in Taiwan. Life is a Journey, and all-too-often I've seen some get caught up in the "destinations" of career/success/...
I know for sure your trip to Cambodia will be excellent and enlightening for you! Do keep us updated through your blog!
Cheers,
-Chase.
02.21.09
I'm new to the community and have only been reading posts, and not necessarily posting anything myself but I felt compelled to comment.
First off I think this is such a great post! I'm a senior about to finish college within a matter of months.. and well there has been tremendous anxiety for what to do after graduation. It's really comforting to hear that others are sharing these feelings of uncertainty. And 2nd, I think it's really great you're taking this huge step in your life to go and explore the uncertainty, especially something risky as this venture.
Nicely done, I took a lot out of this.. thank you!
Oh and another thing may I ask why Cambodia?
02.21.09
Chase- that's awesome! In December I took a 2-week trip in Asia (part of what made me decide to do this) and I met so many people who were taking a year off to teach English or volunteer or work in various countries. I think it is so great that you are doing the same! Hope you are enjoying it, and I'll definitely be checking out your blog :)
Chariya -- Glad you commented! I totally understand what you mean about anxiety, especially in this job market. And I think EVERY senior is feeling that right now, so don't worry! And I picked Cambodia.... because I have connections there who helped me get the position :) But also I love the country- Phnom Penh is a really awesome city if you ever get the chance to go there!
kate -- Thanks for the advice -- I definitely plan to do all those things and make the most of my time there!
02.21.09
Not knowing and being unsure out of College is something I can definitely relate to.
It's great that you've decided to go to NGO in Cambodia, the idea is crazy enough and quite "out there" that I really respect people who can make these kind of decisions.
Congratulation.
I meant every words because I understood your concept and this is something i wish i dare myself enough to do but not. I'm hiding behind a corporate desk job which i enjoy right now but there is a difference when you're doing something you love and passionate about. Maybe one day you'll inspire me with something you blog out of Cambodia.
Thank you for this breath of fresh air =)
02.22.09
Props to you for chosing the path less traveled. I wish I would have done something extreme and global when I graduated, but instead I chose the safe route of Corporate America. I guess I still have time to get out and do something crazy while I am young and mobile!Desk jobs are over-rated for sure!
03.02.09
As the young journalist who moved to Cambodia, I'm really getting a kick out of these replies. Cough. But hey, when you get to Cambodia let me know if you need help with anything in Phnom Penh. It's always nice to make friends outside the newspaper here.
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