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I had an interesting conversation with my Editor about the validity of social media sites and blogging. As a career journalist, it boggles his brain that people are so willing to famously record their lives for the sake of readership and attention (at least, that’s the motivation behind it, he thinks).
And, as a journalist, it makes no sense to him that people think their opinions and ideas matter so much that they should be read by (possible) thousands on the web-o-sphere.
Despite knowing that blogging is about conversation, I think some journalists see it as conversation circulating in a vacuum.
As for my own shortcomings as a blogger and journalist, I still have to decide how much of myself I want to reveal in my posts. I’m not against honesty - but I always think people can have too much of a good thing.
I even de-friended a “friend” on Facebook because she updated too much. I know, that’s terrible. I’m a horrible person with no soul. But at least I didn’t do it for a Whopper. And, to further add to my (ridiculous) hypocrisy, I was the jerk who was updating her own FaceBook page a gazillion times a day via my links on Twitterfeed.
But, I felt like I was getting on people’s nerves doing that, so I dismantled the connection.
At times, the social media/blogging experience is uber wonderful. You read breaking news, discuss cool topics and connect with people who are interested in the same things you are. Other times, I feel like I’m the only one wearing sweats in a nudist colony. Everyone is so in tune with themselves.
The barrier to entry on broadcasting yourself to the world is so low, everyone wants an opportunity to chronicle every (insane) mundane event in their life. From cataloging hundreds of photos on Facebook to tweeting obscene updates on Twitter. Even blogging - your opinions count in the blogosphere (but only if someone is reading them).
So, instead, soul searching morphs to a point where it becomes self-flagellation. Instead of having the secret embarrassment of making mistakes, people blog/FB/tweet about their not-so-secret pains and upsets. What happens with the intimate connection of just keeping some revelations to yourself? What happens with having whatever clarity of thought be just for you and no one else?
There’s transparency - and then there’s unabashed nekkidness.
But, I guess that is the point. The democratization of information. But, when did that include the democratization of extreme self-awareness to be witnessed by all?
Everyone is scrambling for a voice. People want recognition. They want to be heard. People need to learn from others. But then, only the rest of the world seems to be paying attention to the same percentage of people. Was your life any more (or less) interesting before you got a blog? Do 475 people really need to see you making out with your ex-boyfriend on Facebook? How thoughtful is that post about your girlfriend dumping you on your birthday?
Particularly, I’m interested in being meaningful. Blending complexity. Creating autonomy. Building relationships. And, I’m not sure how well people are blending, creating and building when they are so narrowly focused on steering attention on themselves.
I haven’t been able to (yet) reconcile the distinct voice I can have in the chattering mass of the blogosphere. Or, justify not having my photos scattered all over the web universe. Maybe that makes me (too) intensely private. But, in a world where everyone seems to be watching (and wants to be watched) the idea of keeping it to yourself seems dead.
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Comments
01.21.09
To paraphrase that old Memorex commercial: "Is it transparenecy or is it exhibitionism?"
01.21.09
Ah, this is the age-old debate (can you have an age-old debate in something so new?) in social media, but you've expressed it so well. Privacy is not dead. I'm guessing people thing I'm fairly transparent/authentic on my blog, but there's so much I don't share.
Transparency, even exhibitionism, is good because it helps us share in the human condition. It's not for everyone, no, but the more we can be open and honest, the better off society will be.
01.21.09
Personally, I prefer keeping most of my life private. I have no real desire to "share the human condition", whether it's my salary, my zipcode, my sexual history or my credit card PIN. It really serves no purpose, other than letting others take advantage of my life, my information and my privacy.
As for privacy not being dead, Scott McNealy, CEO of Sun Microsystems on January 26, 1999, said, "You have zero privacy anyway. Get over it."
01.21.09
This is a really interesting discussion that makes me nostalgic for grad. school and Goffman's The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life. While online social media has complicated our performances of self, I think it's also given us more power in shaping the ongoing narrative of our life. It's our individual responsibility to ensure that every picture, post, question, link, etc. supports the performance we want our spectators to see, even if we cannot control how that performance will be received.
01.21.09
I have no desire to go on Twitter or even view others' tweets. It just reeks of shameless exhibitionism and self-promotion, and the whole "look at me and what I'm doing and it's SO important that you have to know" thing just rubs me the wrong way.
Who really gives a rip if you have a headache the size of Africa this morning and coffee did nothing to reduce it?
Why should I care if someone is feeling needy, horny, drunk, irritated at their mother or whatever? This whole shtick of wanting to be known and famous and compulsively spouting off what you are thinking and feeling with little, if any, self censorship or caring what other people's sensibilities are, is irritating when I encounter it personally. It's unbearble when multiplied by the millions.
You may have the right to do so, but I also have the right to either ignore you or to use whatever you put out to knock you off your self important perch.
01.21.09
I was on FB for one month my first year of college. I left and never looked back. That is not for me. Twitter I use maybe weekly. These things have their uses I guess.
I have a personal blog which posts no real personal posts. That is how I prefer it, but I think not everyone is online trying to post a narrative to compliment and follow them throughout their life, or to go along with their career, or use as a resume.
Some people still live most of their life online, thank goodness. Some, are there to diary their life, some are writing poetry and some are artfully exposing their innermost creative heart. I don't see that anyone needs to read blogs they don't like. There are blogs I cringe at, but I do get tired of reading constant criticism of what others do online because all of a sudden everyone thinks they know the rules, because their are no rules.
01.21.09
@jrandom42
It appears I've hit a nerve. I know who WON'T be following me on Twitter :-) I look forward to more of your quotes/puns.
@Rebecca
It’s so funny. Old debates on new things. I’m sure the same debate was around when TV/movies hit the world full stream, now it’s the *types* of media that slowly erode our privacy. But, there is a strange, weird mix of both.
You get the energy to bare all from your audience (if you so choose), but people seem even more eager to strip away the walls and have people witness the mess that is their life.
I agree that transparency is good. But exhibitionism, to me, is delusionally self-serving.
@Alexia
Interesting. The blog as self-narrative. That sounds fair. Therefore, social media only complicates these narratives in relation to how we define ourselves to others? Hmm. I also remember studying in my old college days that sexuality is a performance as well.
How do you think the new trend of "sexting" plays out in the narrative of connection with others?
@Olivia
As a late bloomer to the social media trends, I have to admit that there are certain personality types that stick with certain types of social media. And, you're right, there are no rules. Maybe I'm an old Gen Y fart.Or, that's the unfortunate INFJ in me that can't help but think that (not all) personal revelations need to be made impersonal.
@Everyone
Thanks for your comments, this has made the hamsters in my brain only work harder :-)
01.21.09
Raven -
A great post, and interesting conversation you have going here. Hope it's ok to join late in the game...I certainly can't speak for the whole blogosphere, but I hope I can provide some insight with what I perceive personally.
I think that each individual approaches blogging in a different way and thus has a different level of intimacy with which they write. For myself, I'm incredibly candid on my blog because of what my blog means to me. I use my writing to sort out situations and emotions, to work through problems, and to get a different perspective. It's a natural outlet for me, and if I weren't honest with myself, I wouldn't get out of it as much as I have.
I'm lucky enough to have readers who understand and respect that. The bonus for me is that by sharing these thoughts, I can connect with people who relate, who provide profound advice and wisdom to what I had otherwise perceived as a very black and white issue. And, on occassion, they call me out on my flaws, forcing me to view things from another perspective. I, personally, appreciate this insight. Not only does it spark conversation, but it either helps me to cement my values and opinions or forces me to re-evaluate myself and my situations in such a way that I wasn't able to do previously.
You say "everyone is so in tune with themselves," which I appreciate. Honestly, this is one of the reasons why I love to blog -- for what I get out of it, personally. I wouldn't have this level of self-awareness if I weren't honest with others and myself, for the very reasons as I expressed above.
At the same time, I try to make it clear with my blog and my tweets (and I tweet because I like the conversations, I like to connect, and, quite frankly, I like to talk) that everything that is depicted online is a small part of me. A deep, personal part, yes, but still a small part of my life, of me. I choose carefully what I share based on several factors: can anyone relate, will anyone find value, and, most importantly, what can I learn?
I can completely understand why people are so hesitant to share their personal lives; there are aspects of my life that I simply will never discuss in this setting. Yet I value transparency not just because I have something to share, but because I have something to learn.
01.21.09
@Susan
Thanks for your comment Susan. There is value in transparency. And, I guess that discretion is truly at the *discretion* of the blogger. So, if you are looking to be candid and open, you can't (reasonably) expect to hold back parts of yourself if you are looking to relate to others, to grow or to learn. And that's important too. So, one person's candor can be another's exhibitionism.
And like I said, maybe I'm just an old Gen Y fart.
01.21.09
I have to correct my comment which was meant to say "Some people still live most of their life offline (not online as was written.)
01.21.09
It's interesting that you bring this up, because it's something I've been thinking about lately. There are a lot of bloggers who (artfully) share very personal parts of their lives, and because of that, readers can connect with them really well and relate with them and almost feel as though they know that person. When bloggers do that kind of thing well, I really enjoy reading those kinds of blogs.
On the other hand though, I'm a bit of a hypocrite, because I have, as Olivia said, a personal blog with almost no personal posts, ever. For me a blog is fun to talk about what's going on in the world and what kinds of things I'm passionate about and what I'm learning about, but I never wanted to be the kind of blogger that really exposes anything personal on the internet. So I'm a hypocrite in that I like reading about other people's personal lives (when written well -- there's a difference between Penelope Trunk and the millions of attention-seeking bloggers out there who write about the boring minute details of their lives) but I won't write about my own. I guess everyone has their own approach to blogging/social media and has to decide for themselves what they're willing to put online and what they're not.
01.21.09
@Nisha
Perhaps I'm a bit of a hypocite as well because I have no problem playing the voyeur, but I definitely don't feel as comfortable baring my *nekkidness* to the world. But, perhaps that is what makes folks like Ms. Trunk so interesting and engaging. And, if I want to engage my readers, it may not be fair to say I want to engage them about cluelessness when I am hesitant to talk about my own (foolish) cluelessness. It's definitely something to think about.
01.22.09
I don't really agree that there is no degree of privacy in the blogoshpere, it's obviously an individual's decision. I will, however, agree that more disclosure seems to equal more readers. Is this any different from the culture of exhibitionism that a population in our society seem to have? Sure, technology has given us more resources for displaying our lives, but is it any different from the millions of twenty-somethings clawing at the opportunity to be on the Real World? Or the clads of people competing on shows like The Bachelor and Big Brother? We could argue that it's for the money, but the odds are not in any one person's favor and the contestants definitely seem to enjoy it. While I could never see myself blogging without my anonymity, I think I do it to commiserate and "meet" other people through their stories. And... of course, to satisfy my inner ehibitionist.
01.23.09
@Raven
Ah sexting. The erotic messaging is not what's leading to the sex. It's just closing the gap from foreplay to the act. But yes, I do think it allows one, particularly women, to tap into and present a sexualized version of themselves that is often less scary than being the person they aspire to be "live" because the persona, if you will, is transmitted virtually. Of course, it can pose a host of scary consequences, particularly for young people.
01.23.09
@Passionista
Good points all around. I guess as we become a more voyeuristic society, we can't complain about the need to flaunt exhibitionism
@Alexia
You're right. To some degree, I think humans tend to sexualize (if not hyper sexualize) everything. And, the element of pretend is appealing to women when they are online versus having to cope with their true selves. And, "performing" online is much easier and you can edit yourself much more easily and ruthlessly(or not).
01.28.09
This is a very good post and the comments are equally as good. I'm a week late on making a comment here but just wanted to include one thought. I think we're all experimenting with transparency to varying degrees in the blogosphere and beyond. I think with time our level of transparency will change and evolve as we become more accustomed and accomplished with it. We will be looking at how transparent other people are and trying to make a determination how transparency will work or not work for us. It's just a matter of time as we as human beings will continually be testing our own boundaries as well as the boundaries of other people.
01.28.09
@Mark W
Thank you for your comment. I think the world at large is still experimenting with the internet and the transparency within. And, to some degrees, the internet is not an individual taperecorder, but the world's megaphone. So, as long as people understand that - maybe we'll better define how transparent we want to be.
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