I don’t like to go down this path but I’m going to anyway. Most of the time, I don’t think it is a true or a relevant statement. But still, I see the words coming across the screen and I know they are mine.

Men have it so much easier than women – at least when it comes to dressing appropriately in the office. Women might have the potential to have more fun with their fashion choices but in the long run, none of it easy.

Dressing in my office should be pretty easy. Our attire is what I like to call “lab casual” which is several levels below “business casual”. Even though I do not work directly in the lab, standard office attire is jeans. I like to think of lab casual this way: don’t wear anything to work that you wouldn’t want cut off of your body in the event there was a spill and you were the one standing in the safety shower. (Yes, that does mean that potentially you could be standing in your underwear in an open shower for 15 minutes in front of your coworkers while you wait for emergency personnel to arrive.) Dressing for work is easier when you’re not really dressing to impress.

But still, every once and while I realize that not everyone has a good sense of how they should be dressing in the office. And those are the moments I want to jump up and down and scream “You are not hanging out with your girlfriends so stop dressing like you are!”

So how can we fix this problem? After some hemming and hawing, ladies, I think I have an idea.

Call your best gal pal (preferably married or in a long term relationship) and tell her to come over to your place. You’ll also need a mirror and to get dressed for work but without any of your undergarments. No Assets or Spanx. No bra. No panties. Just put your clothes on over your naked body. You’ll need to have the full effect to make any progress.

Shirts: Try this with several different styles of shirts you typically wear to the office. Try it with sweaters, button down shirts, frilly blouses – whatever you previously thought was work place appropriate. Look in the mirror: how do you feel? Do you feel like you have enough coverage from the office perv? Forget the fact that you aren’t wearing a bra. Now lean forward as you look in the mirror and ask yourself this key question: Can you see your nipples? If you can see your nipples, your shirt is not appropriate for your job and adding a bra will not suddenly make it appropriate.

If your top passes step one, try this second step but with that magic, miracle bra that you believe will solve all of your breast problems. In the same leaning forward position, turn towards your friend (who hopefully is an honest and compassionate person). Ask her if she would want her spouse/fiance/significant other to be working late with a woman who is wearing that shirt. Is the answer no? Then you just took that shirt out of the running for a 9 to 5 appearance. If the answer is yes, you now have a better sense of what you should be wearing to the office.

Skirts: Throw on a skirt but as before do not put on any undergarments. Now practice key things you do throughout your day. Bend over as if you were getting a file from the bottom drawer. Sit down. Stand up. Cross your legs. Uncross your legs. Keep moving. Now ask that dear, sweet, honest and compassionate friend if you resemble Britney Spears or Paris Hilton trying to get out of a limo in 2007. If the answer is yes, buy some reasonable undergarments and save your skirt for the clubs. You don’t want your coworkers to make a “Panties for _____” page on facebook when they think you aren’t looking.

If the answer was no, congratulations! You are probably wearing a skirt that is an appropriate length. Good for you!

Pants: Pants are tricky because if you think like I think then you want to believe that pants do not matter because pants are pants. And I know that is wrong. Thankfully, your gal pal will still be there to correct your incorrect thoughts.

Put on your pants. Do you have a camel toe? If the answer is yes, do not even bother demoting the pants to weekends. Find a bag and label it goodwill. Don’t tell me that you are going to lose the weight. By the time you actually lose the weight, you’ll want to buy new pants that make you feel better about yourself and in the meantime those camel toe showing pants are just wasting valuable closet space.

Next, turn to your gal pal and bend over. Ask her what she can tell you about your underwear. If she can tell you the brand, color or style, do not wear those pants to work. If she can see your bum crack, do not wear those pants to work. And if you did not put underwear back on and she can tell you that from the rear view, do not wear those pants to work. Follow up question you should ask: Do I have a muffin top?

At the end of the day, your coworkers do not need to see that much of your body. And chances are if they wanted to see that much of your body, it would not be at work that they wanted to see it.