Anything is a distraction, if you allow it to be. Recently, I become downright obsessed with a geek project that started small, and turned into a 4 day endurance trial. Command-line coding and everything. And admittedly, just about everything else in my life suffered because of it. Come to think of it, I got a cold as well, prob from being up until 4 am configuring something, and then waking up with my son at 8 am. But I allowed myself to do this. It wasn't for a client, it wasn't even for myself. It was something I did, because I wanted to 'try' something.

Point being, the things that we allow to distract us usually make us feel good in the short-term, and we often forget about what the long term ramifications can be. If sex becomes an event with a 4-6 hour prep time, 3-5 hour transaction, and a 2 day recovery period, then maybe it isn't the sex at all, but rather avoiding what else you 'should' be doing.

@Andrew Norcross: Well, yeah. I would say fooling around is a heck of lot more fun than studying for the GMAT! Sometimes we have to set boundaries for ourselves, though, in order to achieve our goals. It's fine when there's nothing going on that's time-intensive. But in order to achieve our goals, sometimes we've got to trim the fat - in this case, sex.

@Smith+Fritzy: I don't think it is a necessity. A lot of people eat at McDonald's, not because it's a necessity, but because it tastes good. They should be eating healthy. I view this the same way. Sure, I'd rather be doing the dating thing - it's fun, there's excitement, anticipation, drama, attention. It's the fast food of life experience.

I'm not saying sex is bad here, people. I'm saying that casual sex is a big time suck. And when I ask myself what else I could be doing with my time, those things seem a whole lot more worthwhile.

Of course sex is a distraction. So is compulsive shopping, social media and American Idol. How you handle distractions is a measure of maturity.

"I'm not saying sex is bad here, people. I'm saying that casual sex is a big time suck."

And the words of my parents ring true once again, proving that the more things change, the more they stay the same. It seems that Gen Y is re-discovering all the truths that were told to Boomers by their parents.

I did a casual hooking up thing with one girl who wouldn't let me spend the night. It kind of surprised me at first but I realized how brilliant her move was for keeping hooking casual and not too time consuming. That ensures no crappy night of sleep because you're sharing a bed with someone you just met, being able to keep your schedule the next day and not having to wait for anyone to elave, and no awkward next day conversation.

My question is how much success have you really seen by swearing sex or relationships off? How much progress is really happening here? It seems you're still thinking about it, as you've blogged about it, and surely that's after lengthy thought. Setting a timeframe for when it's OK to continue again I would say makes you more inclined to be distracted as I imagine there's a consistent evaluation of the decision, plus the counting down of the date.

Is it a matter of needing to get rid of a distraction, or is it a matter of needing manage priorities, and ensure that whomever you're in a relationship with is understanding of where you are currently, and those desires? Likewise, I don't think it has to be an either/or thing.

I did find it a bit amusing, though, that you wrote this post on the same day I wrote mine : )

That was so refreshing to read. I didn't have sex (not necessarily by choice, but whatever) for 6 months after my ex and I broke up. I have also sworn off relationships until I graduate - but don't tell the guy I'm dating. ;)

I too get sucked into sex and relationships as a distraction. Then, my dad told me something that changed my world. He said,
"Sydney, all of these boys (men) that you're dating (banging) are simply amusing you until you meet The One. So you might as well get a free meal or two (or twenty) out of it."

That's when I made my posts about the guy I was dating private and called him back to reconcile for my over-reacting to a situation that I blogged about.

It only distracts me if I need a distraction - I've learned to curb it otherwise.

Now, like you, ask me in 2 weeks how I feel about all this shenanigans - I'll probably be singing a different tune.

I've been a 'serial monogamist' since I finished undergrad; during undergrad, though, I didn't hook up at all --- I was too focused on school. I finished my undergrad off with a 3.8/4.0 CGPA (stats brought me down!) and scholarships galore.

Then I started dating. Just as I was preparing to go to Japan, I met my first serious partner. I cut my stay in Japan short (just 1 year) to come back to him... and we broke up 4 months later.

I've since given up Law school for a relationship. Dropped out of my MA program for a partner. And, although I double-majored in Creative Writing in undergrad & kicked ass at it (4.0 the whole way through), I haven't written a short story since I started dating. Not even one. And it's been 6 years.

For me, sex & relationships is a MAJOR distraction. So, I'm with you: I'm off both until I write at least 10 short stories or one novel. I'm not even kidding. Thanks for this eye-opener!

These things are difficult to control and often spontaneous. Love is not a tap that can be turned on and off.

economies and offers you a new 3-credit online course, Introduction to the Co-Operative
direct mail design | meshes modelings design