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More than a few people have asked me what can they do to survive in the rough economy.The sentiment is wide ranging and far from unique. Here is a taste of what I’ve heard:
Stop asking me these questions. If you lose your job, I can give you resources to use. If you are having an issue with your boss, I can help you fix it. If your co-workers are being passive aggressive morons, I can suggest a few things (maybe an elementary school note stating “Passive or Aggressive. Pick one :-)”)
But why can’t I help you?
Simple: Your question boils down to “How can I avoid being scared?”
I can’t help you with that question. I can’t ease your fears. The best I can hope for is being a sounding board. And if you force me to answer, the one thing you need to do today is stop being scared. Stop being so terrified of the worst happening that you can’t figure out a solution to these questions.
When my wife was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, it scared me. I kept running through the worst case scenarios in my head and it was only made worse knowing that my wife was a worrier too. She was probably thinking all of these same things too. We sat down and talked about it. She’s was anxious about it and it hurt her performance at work. I would get into HR mode and try to “fix it.” That didn’t work. You know why?
I couldn’t fix scared and that was the problem. I had to stop being a HR guy and start being a husband and supporting her. Ultimately she had to rationalize and figure it out on her own. Obviously I helped her through that process. And when she stopped being scared, everything in her life picked up. There was no change in condition that precipitated this attitude change either. Just simply the declaration that this fear of the uncontrolable would no longer control her.
It was great but it was ultimately her struggle and her victory over being scared. Even if there was a legitimate reason to feel that way. Even if sometimes she feels scared.
So if you know layoffs are coming and you might get canned, stop being scared and move on (whether that be by pulling out all stops at work or all stops on your job search). If you’re scared that your boss not liking you might impact your future job, stop being scared and move on. If your hours are going to be cut and you could lose valuable income, stop being scared and move on.
And so on.
Ultimately, the process is simple: remove fear and act as you would have before. You have to make the decision to remove fear though (not me). Nobody will blame you for being scared during economic times like these but if you let it dominate you and become you, then only you can fix that.
Until then, stop asking me the questions until you do that one thing.
Wow - what an incredible post. I think the lessons we learn about fear are really important. I think that some fear is normal, but you are right, you have to move past it if you hope to be functional. Everyone has different ways of dealing with fear - but figure it out - whether it's your religion, a psychologist, meditation, running, writing, there are a lot of choices.
My husband works in automotive, so he and I went through a phase of fear - but we eventually stopped being scared a made a plan A and a plan B and then put the issue to rest, it's out of our hands really. So now we're prepared for whatever might hit us and we aren't living in fear.
I understand where you're coming from but I think fear is a normal emotion. I think it's good to feel it, let it consume you for a while if you need to. Then take action--that makes the difference. If you're scared you can still move through something--you don't simply have to suck it up. But do respond thoughtfully once you've had time to feel it.
Milena - Another great personal example of having fear, acknowledging it, and then putting it to bed. Thanks for sharing.
Kristen - Overcoming fear (not "sucking it up") is the emphasis of this post. Sucking it up does nothing but band aid the problem. You have to rationalize it and come out of it eventually to make progress. This is a push to do it sooner rather than later.
Great advice, Lance. We really have to look the dragon in the face, which isn't easy. There's a recent New York Times Article titled 'In Hard Times, Fear Can Impair Decision-Making' that people might find helpful - I did.
Yep, here's a link to the article via Careerealism.
http://www.careerealism.com/2008/12/09/this-4-letter-word-is-your-career...
I think the key to combatting fear is a plan. Make an action plan and stick to it, because it gives you some sense of control over your scenario (even if it's a false sense of control). Anyway, it might be something as simple as gathering all professional contacts from your work computer/Rolodex, along with anything else that might help you in your job search. Do it NOW to be ready in case of a layoff. You might also try positive affirmations each day.
@Marsha - No it isn't easy. A fact I've had acknowledge a lot of!
@Hayli - First of all, congrats to Rise Smart for getting VC funding. And second of all, great advice. I should have included a component of having contingency plans helps relieve some of the fear very naturally.
Lance,
I always appreciate your honesty-it is so refreshing! great post.
You know what they say, "analysis=paralysis". The more control we try to have over a situation, the less control we actually have. Granted, the state of the economy is scary, but the more I hear people trying to explain what we are going to see in 10 years, the more I want to scream. The truth is ....No one really knows!!!! Let's keep moving.
Lance, thank you for such an insightful post. I do have this question:
How would you overcome your fear, if you were to lose your job? I've had some friends whose spouses have similar life threatening conditions which require intensive medical care, who have lost their jobs and their medical coverage. What can be done to help them from being paralyzed with the fear that their spouse will die without any medical coverage?
Don’t judge based on popularity or blind reciprocity, instead make sure they “get it” and just as importantly, that their followers “get it”. More...
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