Already a member?
Welcome to Brazen Careerist!
Emily Ma is using Brazen Careerist to share ideas. Join now to become a member and start networking with Emily Ma and other professionals just like you. Learn more.
Brazen careerist
Where ambitious young professionals connect and grow
Email
Print
With the economy going down the tubes you may not want your employer keeping an eye on you.
The layoff numbers for the month of November are staggering at close to 92,000. Given these harsh conditions there is certainly a need to be cautious. However, sometimes looking at things in a humorous perspective might add a little relief even during the layoff season. If your employer were to write you a performance review, how would you like it to be?
Here's a list of thins you'd never want your boss to put in your file (these are supposedly actual quotes taken from national government employee performance evaluations).
- "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig."
- "I would not allow this employee to breed."
- "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."
- "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."
- "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
- "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."
- "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
- "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts the better."
- "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."
- "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
Nice.
For more timely, relevant, and engaging articles,
subscribe to Brazen Careerist.
- How To Find a Writing Partner Who Can Help You Achieve Your Goals and Make More Money
- The Anti-Stalker’s Guide for Converting Online Contact into Real World Collaboration
- Continuing Education: Extending Learning Beyond Your Campus Years
- Why You Might Be Better Off Without a Job After College
- A New Kind of Business Mover and Shaker
Comments
12.05.08
Ouch.
12.05.08
Old, originally 20 quotes, and not gov't related (that was added recently for the parlance of our times), but defenetly definitly funny thanks!!
12.05.08
In the interest of respect in the workplace reviews like those should never happen. If a worker is that bad they should be fired immediately.
12.05.08
When I first saw this, it was supposed to be actual bullet statements from officer evaluations in the British Navy.
12.08.08
In order for my boss to say bad things about me, he'd (or 'they' since I have multiples) actually have to know what I do.
Fat chance.
They most common form of compliment I get from my management is; "Thanks for all you do!"
Yeah..... that's a morale builder.
Of course I do take calls on my days off and weekends and stay late when needed. I go the extra mile to do things outside my job description, although that is getting old.
But then I come work consistently 15 minutes late, take 1.5 hour lunches during which I have no fewer than 2 tall beers (what, you think I could do this job sober?), surf the web, and post to forums like this.
I used to feel guilty.
I don't anymore.
Because I get "Thanks for all that I do!"
11.23.10
But then I come work consistently 15 minutes late, take 1.5 hour lunches during which I have no fewer than 2 tall beers (what, you think I could do this job sober?), surf the web, and post to forums like this.
Baby Names
11.28.10
But then I come work consistently 15 minutes late, take 1.5 hour lunches during which I have no fewer than 2 tall beers (what, you think I could do this job sober?), surf the web, and post to forums like this. printer ink
Got Something To Say?
Got Something To Say?
Not a Member? Brazen Careerist is a career management tool for next-generation professionals. Set up a free account today to comment on this post and start sharing your ideas. Learn more.
Login to view your networks!
 |
 |
|
 |
 |
