My Career's Two Year Itch

They may not seem related, but I find that choosing a job/career can be comparable to choosing a mate. Both need to fulfill certain needs and keep you somewhat happy and satisfied for the duration.

Will you always be head over heels for your job or boyfriend? Probably not, but that comes with the territory. The ideal job and mate will keep you happy for a majority of the time. How many of you have had both areas satisfied at the same time? Not me.

My relationship quest could have arguably begun with my first boyfriend in eighth grade. Seeing as that only lasted a week, I think I’ve improved in this area a great deal. The career quest begun its slow journey when I started college and had to figure out what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, or at least what field I wanted to spend a small fortune on to earn a degree. I went through three different majors in college, three. During that time I only went through two boyfriends (see? improvement).

What I finished with was a B.A. in Anthropology. At this moment you may be thinking, “What are you going to do with that?” And that was pretty much the response I received once I entered the working world. Alas, I had no idea. Anthropology was a field that I really just enjoyed, analyzing the world and its cultures is something I do anyway and it allowed me to do so in a more formal thought out way. Lucky for me the major I chose in college did not limit my career options (by much).

I took the first good job that came up, and for a time I was happy. Incidentally this is the same time that Ex (college boyfriend 2) and I broke up. While my career was going pretty well in a field I was very interested in, Psychology, my love life fluctuated a lot. I dated a slew of guys and with every one thought that I was happy. At one point during that time I got back together with Ex, and broke up with him as I was working on my second year of employment. I knew it was time for a change, so my job hunt started again.

Good news! I found a job in a totally different field, Recreation, and was happy. I met LL3 and was happier. Finally, I had both seemingly difficult to find quests under my belt. However, now that I’m closing in on my second year of employment here, I felt the itch again. That damn itch is what has kept me moving from one thing to the other after two years of what seemed to be bliss. That’s when I realized that I have followed this pattern with much of my life: my majors in college, jobs, relationships, and even apartments.

Discovering these seemingly unrelated coincidences made me believe that I can’t commit to something for more than two years. Whether this is normal or not, I don’t know. I have friends who have committed to careers and men. Why can’t that be me? Do I need therapy for this? I want to have all the answers now, but I don’t. What I do know is that I want out of my job and I want it fast. Last week, I found out that the two jobs I was counting on fell through, and it was a painful blow to my sensibilities.

My career path feels like it’s going off the deep end and sinking fast beyond my grip. This two year itch, if it is just a mental thing, is feeling more like a depression. When I got the email, on my birthday, that I didn’t get either job I had applied for I was devastated. This was my third attempt to get into a program I am so convinced is the right move for me. I feel directionless and stuck in a job I hate. Don’t get me wrong, I am incredibly blessed to have a job, but I can’t help but feel this way. I’m making just enough money, but it won’t be enough for very long. Even more grating is that I dread coming to work and end up doing as little as possible.

Thinking about being in this job for even one more year makes me nauseous. It feels like the same old thing every day and there’s no hope for change. Even my one perk of the job, a week of travel, was canceled at the last minute only adding to the grief of my dashed hopes. I know I can stick out for another year, but I sincerely don’t want to. At this point, I’m not sure if it’s really the job that changed or my commitment fears surfacing now that I’m approaching my two year anniversary here. Is it too much to ask to have both areas of my life satisfied at the same time? I wish I could treat both my need to leave this job and my fears of commitment. If any of you can relate to these feelings, this girl appreciates any and all help!