Already a member?
Welcome to Brazen Careerist!
Emily Ma is using Brazen Careerist to share ideas. Join now to become a member and start networking with Emily Ma and other professionals just like you. Learn more.
Brazen careerist
Where ambitious young professionals connect and grow
Email
Print
I’ve never been the poster child of a balanced life. I’ve always been a person of extremes. I used to tell people that it was a side effect of my ADD – I couldn’t choose what was going to take my attention but when something did have my attention, it had it completely. For the most part, I was okay with it.
But it does not lead to a balanced life.
As an adult, it leads to a very unbalanced life.
Part of me wants the balanced life because everyone else wants
For more timely, relevant, and engaging articles,
subscribe to Brazen Careerist.
- How To Find a Writing Partner Who Can Help You Achieve Your Goals and Make More Money
- Why You Might Be Better Off Without a Job After College
- Continuing Education: Extending Learning Beyond Your Campus Years
- The Anti-Stalker’s Guide for Converting Online Contact into Real World Collaboration
- A New Kind of Business Mover and Shaker
Comments
12.04.08
The traditional idea of a "balanced" life is a fraud. The usual idea of balance doesn't give any reference to weighting of priorities. In your example, you're giving the gym the same resource allocation as you do family time. In my experience, none of my priorities have the same weight, esp. after my son was born. There are things that I have to do, things that I should do, and things that I would like to do. I try to look at it on that level. As long as the "have to" list is completed, that day was a success.
12.04.08
Dorie, I definitely struggle with the balanced life as well. I am pulled in so many different directions, and have so many ideas of stuff I want to be doing. It's easier to do a few things in excess each day than to do a lot of things in balance every single day.
And it drives my husband NUTS. He really didn't know what he was getting into when he married me...
12.04.08
I think you make a key point in a roundabout manner.
You mention that you've bought into the idea of balance provided by society, whether that's the "suburban dream" or something else.
Balance is a personal thing. It's about balancing the things that are important to you, at priorities that meet yours.
Balance isn't about everything being equal, it's about meeting all your needs.
12.04.08
I love what you say in that balance is not only the work/life obligations, but also the obligations we have with ourselves. I feel so guilty (and often meltdown) when I think that I'm not balancing work and life, but what I'm most likely needing, and am only recently realizing, is that what I really need is the proverbial "me time".
Not to take this down to the sexes, but I question if this self indulgence is something that more women struggle with then men.
12.04.08
I definitely concur with a lot of the commenters about "balance" being a kind of fraudulent fantasy.
I sometimes think about how humans are just funny little animals, making up games of what is important and then feverishly trying to pursue them. In the end, we're just like the proverbial squirrel trying to get a nut.
@Angie makes a good point about the male vs. female thing. Statistically speaking, women do more housework and family care activites, even if both spouses work, and even if the husband is as sweet and wonderful and "modern" as you could ever hope for.
Biologically speaking, women care more. We just care way more about everything - about cleaning house, about being balanced, about excelling at whatever is in front of us. Men aren't similarly biologically afflicted. I don't mean they don't do well in their pursuits or are callous beasts (okay, sometimes), but they just don't care as much about the outcomes and failure is not as huge a tragedy as it is for women.
I find the best trick I've found, when I feel out of balance, is not to make drastic changes, but small ones. Like when I haven't been doing enough singing, I'll tired myself out if I try to do an hour of singing because I've neglected practice. I'll start with 10 minutes, then 15, etc.
12.05.08
Hi Dorie, I hear you. I have always been an "all or nothing" person and I have now embraced that as what makes me ME. I can't eat one piece of cake but the whole cake, I can't eat one slice or pizza but the whole pizza. Yep, that pretty much sums me up however I have to say that if you try to tame your inherent personality traits TOO much you end up "unhinging" your SOUL ie. that which makes you YOU. Cheers DS.
12.05.08
@norcross - Oh but what a tempting fraud it is!
@Monica - We always think we know what we are getting ourselves into when we're young and in love. Then life happens. Haha.
@Adam - I don't think I realized that I needed to fully develop my own definition of balance until I became unhinged. I thought I could just borrow a definition and tweak it as I went along. Little did I know...
12.05.08
@Angie - Sometimes I feel really guilty when I try to balance "me" in the equation. Because the "me" portion isn't earning income, or washing dishes or doing something "productive". But "me" is what keeps my sanity grounded.
@Milena - I forget a lot that while I'm going to care if the table is set for dinner, my husband only really cares that food will be on the table. In both cases, the results impact our own personal sense of balance, but his version is more attainable and he stays sane.
@Darren - The passion and commitment I have to what interests me is one of my favorite things about me - and yet, I didn't even realize I was trying to change it. I was too busy trying to attack balance with passion and commitment.
12.05.08
I personally believe in balance and it isn't a fictional place. It isn't a place at all. Everything is balanced... its like karma... life just has ways of balancing itself out whether you want it to or not. Its why people have heart attacks when they're too stressed out or eating badly for too long... life tells you to cut it out. You're not going to find balance in your life - life will find its balance for you.
Got Something To Say?
Got Something To Say?
Not a Member? Brazen Careerist is a career management tool for next-generation professionals. Set up a free account today to comment on this post and start sharing your ideas. Learn more.
Login to view your networks!
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
