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I've always wanted to have grace, especially under pressure. I want to be a person that can keep a cool head and glide through stressful situations and criticism. As a clumsy child, teenager, and now adult, physical grace has never been a descriptor for me. I bumble in heels, occasionally misbutton my sweater and often spill drinks.
Despite these circumstances, I thought I might be able to achieve grace in my workplace manners. But, it’s not that easy, especially when cold, harsh criticism is being hurled at you from all sides.
There isn’t a particular instance that sticks out in my mind more than others, but it seems that some days I can’t get anything right and it just so happens to be the days everyone’s paying attention. So, when the criticisms come my way, I want to be able to slap a charming smile on my face and get through it, becoming an infinitely better researcher/writer/editor/employee. Instead, while they’re saying “This document doesn’t really highlight the proper expertise and is off-case. Why is this even on here?” I might be on the verge of tears and dying to crawl under my desk, because all I hear is “You suck, you suck, you really suck.” My efforts of achieving my workplace confidence have clearly not come to fruition.
Grace in the face of criticism is hard. Why? Because sometimes people forget that you have feelings, or worse, they just don’t care.
But, how you react to this criticism says a lot about who you are, and I certainly don’t want to be the girl under my desk. So, how do you learn to take criticism with grace, even when it’s everything but constructive?
- Avoid getting defensive. The worst thing you can do is start rattling off excuses why the assignment wasn’t done correctly/on time/etc. But in the end, your excuses don’t matter and immediately jumping on the defense leaves a bad impression.
- Don’t get caught up in the blame game. This goes hand-in-hand with not getting defensive. Even if it was your colleagues fault, that’s a lesson for you to learn and take with you, but blaming others draws attention to your own insecurities.
- Figure out how to walk the thin lines. So, Manager A likes green, square bullet points, but Manager B doesn’t and Manager C prefers no bullet points at all. There’s got to be a way to navigate nuances and come up with something that appeases everyone, even if you don’t quite understand the issues. At the very least, there has got to be a way to compromise and you need to find it, or at least offer to give it a try.
- Grin and bear it. When people have bad days, that negative energy sometimes gets directed at the wrong people, and it could easily be you. Receiving the brunt of someone’s rage about a project isn’t fun, but sometimes it’s better to just deal than have any reaction at all. File away the comments for later, but try to forget the passive aggressive hits.
I doubt I’ll ever be an expert in high heels or stop spilling things on my clothes, but I think if I keep these tips in mind I’ll at least be able to handle criticism with grace.
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