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Is it bad to be a bitch in the workplace?
Back in the day, aggressive opinionated women were very rare. Therefore, women who were somewhat “bitchy” tended to get ahead. Now that there are several ferocious females in the workplace, being a bitch is a dime a dozen and our strategy needs to be tweaked.
Here’s my take on this:
Always think like a bitch. No one is going to get you where you want to be, recognize you or give you what you want unless you request it and go get it.
Back your “bitch” up: stay consistent, deliver results and be dependable at work.
Don’t act like a bitch. Acting like a bitch is not going to get you anywhere. It will push people away. Your co-workers won’t respect you as a leader nor will they want to be on your team for the next project. Others will assume you are out for yourself rather than to carry out the company’s vision. No one will confide in you or give you information at the water cooler about things you probably want to know.
Be smart and savvy instead of bitchy. Pick your battles very carefully. Don’t be afraid to have an opinion or ask for things, but proceed with caution.
If you are in a frustrating situation with a co-worker or boss, I suggest that you:
· Clarify their expectations
· Wait
· Ask more questions
· Then acknowledge the other person's feelings before trying to get what you want.
Although it temporarily feels liberating to be a bitch, don’t do it. The negative consequences that follow will set you back. Like they always say, “you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar.” Keep this in mind next time you want to be a bitch at work!
LOVE this post.
It's a strategy that I've had to employ lately. In college, I soo got off on being a bitch. But as I got older (25 now) I realized how much easier it was to get what I wanted with a dose of grace rather than attitude. I think for a long time, women were regarded as "soft" and so we felt we had to adopt (and sometimes caricature) male aggression in order to get ahead. But like you said, bitches are now a dime a dozen. People are far more impressed by a combination of talent and sharpness combined with humility and grace than they are by the "ferocious femme fatale."
Besides, it's easier to defeat opponents who never see you coming ;-)
I love it too!
I have sooo much trouble not breaking into bitch mode, especially with some of the things I've had co-workers say to me. It's a tough world out there!
I guess I'm trying to just be kind and assertive. This post was a great reminder!
Great Post. I couldnt agree more as I work with mostly women. I believe that the barrier to success in business for many women is being assertive while being civil.
I work in a very women-friendly company. One of the co-founders, who is the current CEO, is a woman and literally one of the nicest and sweetest women I have met. There are also quite a few women holding senior positions in the company and they are just as nice. I was extremely surprised to see such nice women in such positions of power, but it can be done! They care a lot about the culture of the firm and it is very positive because of their efforts.
When I took a class on sociology of gender, we spent a lot of time talking about how women in positions of power act and are perceived in the workplace. The traditional view is that when women act as forceful and direct as men, they are perceived as "bitchy," while when men act in the same way, they are perceived as strong and "good leaders." But as it is more accepted for women to work and hold positions of power, I think (hope!) we will see less of discrimination against them and therefore less of a need to be "bitchy."
Finally, it just makes sense to be nice and form bonds with your co-workers as opposed to alienating them with your attitude.
Great post. In the heat of the moment, sometimes we automatically puff up like we're defending ourselves, not doing our job.
Amazing! This is just what so many women need to hear. Kudos on saying it!
Thanks for all the awesome feedback ladies! This topic is a big one for us!
Love the title! I totally agree. Be consistent and know your s***, but attract with honey rather than vinegar.
@Irina: I'm so glad to read about your experience because I think it's still such a widespread stereotype that women have to be fierce to get ahead, and women ourselves perpetuate this thinking.
"The back your bitch up" part made me giggle. Not giggle in the sense that it isn't great advice, because it is. It's just the phrase in itself - "back your bitch up".
Anyway, excellent post. I know a few women at my workplace that could benefit from your advice. I would like to see them move up the corporate ladder without being negatively mislabeled while doing so.
There seems to be a consensus in the professional world that being nice is simply a means to an end. A way to reach your goals. I disagree. Being nice to reach your goals is the same as being bitch to reach them, because although the manner is different, the intent is the same. People should be nice and open with each other simply because it's the right thing to do! Any achievements that flow from that are just a great side effect.
And what if the society was so corrupt that if u were supported u'd have the luxury of chosing to be nice or to be a bitch, whereas if u weren't u must be nice orelse u'll simply be a castaway?
Yeah, I like the post just like everybody else does, however, I'm starting to ask myself whether it's possible to think like a bitch, yet not to act like one, because most of the time we tend to act like we think..!
Megan, advisor on buy to let mortgage calculator.
My bright idea of the day - Follow Up. So incredibly important to the development of yourself, your project, your ambitions, your ideas. Without doubling back, checking in, building on your work, nothing will really get accomplished. More...
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