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Posted On 11.20.08

Usually I leave leadership topics up to the experts, but there is one common leadership mistake that I feel compelled to write about.

Usually I leave leadership topics up to the experts, but there is one common leadership mistake that I feel compelled to write about.

This mistake can

  • Make others lose respect for you.
  • Make others fear you.
  • Make you look like a hothead.
  • Make you look like a bully.
  • Lower your team’s morale.

Given the consequences you probably wouldn’t want to make this mistake. And yet, in most of the companies I have worked for I have witnessed leaders make this mistake. I have even been on the receiving end of this mistake. The mistake is to yell at an employee in front of others. There is never a case when this is acceptable.

Sure, the employee may have done something wrong. But discipline should be done in private. A great leader is one who rises above the heat of the moment and resists the urge to lower themselves to this behavior.

Your employees aren’t going to remember or care about what the employee did, they’re going to remember how you reacted inappropriately. They may even sympathize with the victim of your yelling. They may remember a time when another leader did the same to them and offer support to the victim.

No apology can take back such a mistake. No amount of righteousness makes it okay. Lead with your mind not your impulses.

      

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Anonymous
November 20, 2008 9:46 am

Uhm - I can think of a lot worse things than this, such as:

1) Paralysis
2) Poor Judgement
3) Insufficient problem-solving skills
4) Short-sightedness
5) Not enough/Too much attention to detail
6) Poor Communication Skills

Also, it is not clearly defined what "discipline" is. Many poor leaders allow conversations and strategies to veer way off course because they are unable to unwilling to jettison an idea when it is obviously wrong. Is telling someone that they are way off-base in front of others considered discipline?

Scott M
November 20, 2008 10:14 am

The rule of thumb I have always heard is : "Praise in public, criticize in private".

Regina
November 20, 2008 10:27 am

You are exactly right. The first time this happened to me I was mortified, thinking that everyone would think that I really had blown it, that I couldn't do my job, that I had dropped the ball, and all the other things that the manager was yelling at me at the top of her voice in front of half the department. Afterward I called my husband and voiced these concerns and he told me just what you stated: they would blame her. I didn't believe him, especially since this was not "my" group; I was on a special temp assignment for this manager.

Later, at lunch in the cafeteria, I passed by a table filled with people from the department - not close friends of mine, but people I knew. When I said "Hi" there was an immediate outburst of comments such as, "I can't believe she did that!" "How unprofessional!" and so forth. No one even bothered to ask me what it was that she was yelling at me about, which was a minor issue that had just came to light and no one else knew about it yet. My husband was right - they placed all the blame on her and it was clear from their comments that they had lost all respect for her along with all the other consequences you mentioned.

When we got back from lunch we found out that her manager had sent her home and she was told not to come back until Monday (it was Wednesday). Strangely, I felt much better after that! :)

Scott M
November 20, 2008 10:36 am

I've never had any yell at me at work, much less a boss. Is that unsusual?

Anyway, being the introvert I am, and needing to practice my interactions with other people before I actually have to implement them, I have a stock speech prepared for such a situation.

"I am a professional and I expect to be treated in a professional manner. If you cannot do that, then this discussion (or meeting/call/conversation) is over."

I've never had to use it, but I'm glad it's there.

KateNonymous
November 20, 2008 1:13 pm

I had a boss who used to yell at people in public, both in the office at large and in meetings. She did it to me once during an interdepartmental team meeting, and in the middle of it, I thought, "Thank goodness I've worked with all of these people before, so that they already know me and my work."

After that, I went to her office and explained (forcefully, but without yelling, swearing, or insulting) why I had taken the actions I did, and how I would address any problems with the outcome. She backed off right away.

I think that part of the reason that this worked for me was that with her, I already had a history of doing good work and being willing to do whatever it took to get the job done.

And then as soon as I got a better job, I left that company.

November 20, 2008 5:21 pm

What a great conversation starter! Your posting is a good reminder that management DOES NOT equal leadership. If you are leading someone, you are seeking to empower that person to improve his/her performance. While direct, compassionate, action-oriented feedback has its place, public humiliation never does. And it usually spawns an organizational culture to be driven by fear and triangulation rather than by strategic risk taking, creativity, and collaboration.

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