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Here's my perfect night: I come home, get into bed, and fall asleep before my head hits the pillow. No bad thoughts keeping me up and tossing me back and forth. Last night was not such a night.
Even in the happiest of times, I've had difficulty sleeping. When I was very young, I was plagued by night terrors and when I was older, spent hours staring at my ceiling as I waited to nod off. When I was about eight years old, my parents took me to a psychiatrist who specialized in sleep disorders. She told us that my sleep issues were stress related-- I hold myself to very high standards and I have a tendency to replay anxieties and fears in my head before sleep. Much like a shark can never stop swimming, my brain can never stop thinking.
Last night I got into bed at midnight. The last time I glanced at the clock, it was 4:30 am. Suffice to say, I'm exhausted right now. Just completely physically and emotionally drained. Between the stresses at work and at home, my shark of a brain has been on overdrive. And we're talking a swimming speed of 60 mph. (Some shark trivia: the average Great White Shark swims at a speed of 25 mph, with top speeds of 40 mph when prey is near. Yowsa.)
Many friends have suggested numerous techniques which they claim will help clear my mind of negative thoughts. Here are the top relaxation tips of all time:
If anyone has some better ideas for me, I'm all ears. I'm not sure how long sharks are supposed to live, but I think their life spans are considerably limited do to their inability to sleep. And I want to live, damn it!
Despite all evidence to the contrary, I've been looking forward to a long, happy life and I'll be darned if I don't live it well rested.
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Rachel, I feel for you, as I have stress-induced insomnia as well. And it doesn't help when my neighbors are out partying on their balcony until 3am. I have been told to follow the principles of sleep hygiene (no TV or computer in your room, etc.), but living in the city with roommates it's almost impossible. I've been told that if I have trouble falling asleep, I should get up and do some repetitive task for 20 minutes, then go back to bed. I have tried aromatherapy. I have tried journaling. I don't drink caffeine. The thing that works the best for me is taking an Ambien before bed, but obviously that's not something I want to do every night.
While I don't suffer from the same problems, at least not with any frequency, three quick suggestions.
1) Write. If you're stuck in a feedback loop, this can sometimes help. I know there's been times where I've been trying to get to sleep, or even to focus on something else, but I keep replaying the same problem over and over in my head. Sometimes, writing through it gets me out of the circular loop and into a linear thought process. Then, when I feel I've worked through it, if I find my mind falling back into the loop, I focus on the fact that I've already written through the problem, and nothing more will come from this at that time. (I know, easier said than done)
2) On the music topic, maybe try something without vocals, or with vocals in a language you don't understand. That gets you into the music realm without giving your mind fodder to chew on.
3) Have you tried something like Pzizz? I know I've only tried their demo, but it could be something that might help. Custom tailored nap or sleep programs based on what works for you.
Hope that helps!
What about working out in the evening. I know when i'm stressed it really helps me let go of anxiety. It's also a plus considering that when i'm angry/stressed i put all that into the treadmill!
Learn to master your fear. Read the Book of the 5 Rings and the Hakagure. First reconcile yourself to accept that your own death will come in its time and do not fear it. Once that fear has been erased, what else can you have to fear? Money, career, love, all are temporary.
Have you tried natural sleep aids? Like the sleepy time tea?
I don't drink or use drugs of any sort, so any foreign substance hits me hard. Recently tried a sample of Dreamerz (http://dreamerz.com/), which knocked me out. I'm waiting for relatives with more tolerant blood chemistries to test out the product, but it might be worth a try.
Also, what do you do before you go to bed? Are you disconnecting from all gadgets and electronics -- no tV or hardhitting non-fiction. Find activities that don't wire you up: journaling, tidying up, pulling out your clothes for the next day. There was a study a while back that found a positive correlation between an overstimulated brain (being active online, watching the (bad) news, etc) with insomnia.
Also, are you a coffee drinker? Have you tried weaning yourself off the caffeine?
Several months ago, I started having panic attacks when I was falling asleep. I would wake up at the moment that I would fall asleep gasping for air. (p.s. it wasn't sleep apnea). While it only happened a handful of times, it screwed me up completely because I couldn't sleep. I tend to think that when we have issues sleeping, it has very little to do with sleep. Your mention of the shark is what makes me think there's more going on that may need addressed. My issue was that when I did "stop"... waiting to sleep... this is the time of the day when you tend to think about everything going on. When you keep yourself busy you can ignore what's going on.
One of the relaxation techniques that helped me during that time. You close your eyes and listen to what is going on with your body. Just concentrate, recognize every twitch, noise, feeling that you notice. It can help take your mind off of what is going on at the moment and helps you really concentrate on what's important - how your body is functioning. If you feel like opening your eyes, look around your room and say the name of everything you're seeing. This helps you recognize where you are and what is going on in your outer world. Lastly, what typically helped with me, is counting backwards. If that's too easy for you, subtract 7 backwards from 1000 to make it more difficult.
Nothing has ever kicked my butt and put me to sleep faster than the latest in the day session of Bikram yoga. I know you listed yoga in your post, but Bikram yoga specifically is very different from easy stretches and saying "ommm". Many Bikram yoga studios have an 8 pm class. You sweat and work hard for 1.5 hrs and really let a lot of things go. Often I would come home after this class at around 10-10:30 pm and crash, completely forgetting to eat.
I know this won't be a popular response, but what worked for me is Drugs. Ambien to be exact. My logic was for me to take the ambien to relieve the stress of not being able to fall asleep than wean off when my body becomes accustomed to going to sleep without stress.
It worked!
Here are a few things I've picked up over the years.
1. I drink lots of coffee, but somehow if I have any after noon, I'm toast. I'll never get to sleep. So noon is my cut off on weekdays.
2. If I have something going on stress-wise out of the ordinary, I turn to Tylenol PM. As someone in recovery, I'm wary of any drugs, but I've been reassured that it is not habit-forming. 19 months sober & I can attest to this. I use it for 2-3 nights until I can get back into the swing of my natural sleep cycle. Nothing stresses me out even more than not sleeping - vicious cycle you see.
3. No TV, food, bright light 30-60 minutes before bed. I shut down all but one reading lamp & get cozy with a book for a half-hour before bed. And not an exciting one - I'll never go to bed if I'm that enraptured. I like Jane Austen, so I keep one next to the nightstand & read it almost every night before bed.
4. This one's the best: Make a gratitude list. If I'm laying in bed, staring at the ceiling, I begin a gratitude list. I'm grateful I woke up this a.m. I'm grateful I have a car. I'm grateful for this ceiling. I'm grateful for my friend Amanda. And so on. On a bad night, I'll get down to being grateful for my socks and pillowcases. Even if I don't sleep, I'm pretty happy in the morning!
Two things work for me:
1) As mentioned above, writing does wonders. Most of the time when I can't sleep, it's because there's too much stuff on my mind. Meetings. Work. To do lists. Problems. Questions. Etc.
When you take 30 minutes to write down all of that crap that is flying through your brain, you can stop worrying about it because you know you have it stored on your computer and there's no way of forgetting it.
2) Have you ever been hypnotized? I had a friend hypnotize me once. (It was weird... but kind of cool.) He hypnotizes himself when he travels by plane. Search "Self-hypnosis" on YouTube and you'll find videos with that weird spiral thing... (Like when someone is in a trance in a cartoon, their eyes have this spinning spiral thing in them.)
Focus on the middle of sprial, listen to the words, and start taking deep breaths... Even if you don't get hypnotized, it's a great way to calm down your body before bed.
Anyone else ever try this?
One word. Ambien.
1. Writing. If I can't sleep I go downstairs and write long winded run on sentences about what is going on in my brain.
2. Acupunture. Amazing results with my mind/body relationship since I started acupunture. Amazing. I can't speak highly enough about the benefits I have seen in sleep quality.
3. Do nothing else in your bedroom- if possible. No work. No bill paying. No Computer. No reading, even.
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