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My college friends and I realized we were over the bar scene when we planned a bar night in Philly and caught ourselves longing for a nice Italian dinner and a bottle of wine.
I agree, for the most part the bar scene does suck. College was fun, but its definitely over now. It used to be that I would have fun every time I went out, now its only when I really really feel like letting loose that I have a good time at wild bars. But it also sounds like you may going to the wrong bars! Not all bars have wasted guys in their early 20s falling over themselves. You just have to find the right ones...
It's called growing up. Consider this a good thing.
You don't feel old, you feel less mentally inhibited (I was going to say retarded, but we're not supposed to say that anymore).
A few years ago my friends and I also came to the same realization that we were over the sloppy bar scene, but we weren’t done having fun. We decided to start a social network that allowed us to meet new people, network, socially drink and have a really good time. We started by each of us inviting two people that we knew from work or other facets of our lives and we met at nice lounges, hooka bars, boutique hotel bars, etc…and we’d talk, drink, listen to good music, dance and network. Subsequently those who came out previously were invited back (unless they completely didn’t fit in) and everyone was encouraged to bring one new person…and like this our group has grown and we’ve become really good friends. An added benefit of our growing group is that we can now negotiate drink prices, covers, etc prior to going to that venue – which is great cost savings. In the last few years we have met some really amazing people from all walks of life. Some have even managed to find their respective significant others through this network. I hope this helps as an alternative way of partying with like minded friends and strangers.
Thanks for the feedback. I agree the key thing here is growing up -- which, honestly, is a little tricky to do considering I still live five minutes from the college campus where I did all my undergraduate partying. But, from your comments, it sounds like the key points are finding other like-minded people, finding the right social functions, and keeping it appropriate for my age. It's in the works. :)
I'm 23 and I have to admit that I never really understood the appeal of the bar scene. It always seemed to me that it rarely measured up to how fun it looked in movies.
Also, the ROOFIES! I have a friend who was roofied at a bar and it amazes me how many absolutely fiendish people there are in the world. A house party and/or game night sounds infinitely more appealing for sure!
I suspect I'm mostly just echoing what others have said, but I too have outgrown the bar scene. I'm in graduate school and, like you, I'm two-dozen (as my girlfriend's 14 year old sister affectionately likes to call it).
Don't get me wrong, in undergrad, out with my baseball teammates, there were times when we were all way out of control, but now I like going to Happy Hour's at restaurants or low-key lounge like bars where I can hear myself talk.
Also, part of it being in a relationship and the fact that I don't feel the need to prowl, which is something you've covered as well.
Anyway, like some of the others have said, I think the key is finding an atmosphere you're comfortable in, with people you're comfortable around and enjoying yourself.
Often times for me this equates to = low key night at lounge type bar, live texas country band w/ a few friends, game night, or even hosting small dinner parties.
Best of luck negotiating that bar scene!
And be sure and check out Andy Drish's (fellow Brazen Careerist) post on why the bar scene is a good place to learn about people. It's a worthy read.
There are many bars that are more civilized. The prices will be higher there, but you'll meet more interesting people who also might be good contacts in the future, thus making it worth what you spend. Nurse your drinks. Avoid places with signs advertising drink specials, sports schedules, or that have TVs.
The bar scene never gets old. I absolutely love going out for drinks at dive bars. The type of place full of artistes and Bohemians where everyone drinks imported beers and goes out of their way to make a statement with their clothing. It's almost like entering a fantasy world, that is loud, has great rock music and tempting eye candy.
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