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I recently discussed the use of the TKI and MBTI for dealing with conflict. I received several emails from people needing help with conflict in their workplace. I won't post them as reader questions here because several are sensitive in nature, but as I told each of them there are a few keys:
1) Conflict is inevitable- 85% of employees experience conflict to some degree (typically around 2.8 hour
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Comments
10.08.08
I think there's so much conflict in the workforce right now because there are four generations of adults in the workforce. Specifically, I think Gen X & Y disagree differently than their Boomer colleagues, leading to a lot of misunderstanding. I did a blog entry on this that you might find interesting. Anyway, an example would be this:
Boomers will tell you WHY they don't like your idea - and then WHY they prefer their idea. Xers will just tell you WHY they prefer their idea - unless it comes down a draw, at which point they bring out the heavy guns: WHY they don't like your idea.
10.08.08
It sounds like there's not much you can do about it aside from taking conflict-management training. What do you suggest for employees who don't have that offered through their jobs?
10.08.08
Great question! There is an A-level assessment called the TKI which helps you understand what your conflict style is and how to strive for a more Win-Win solution.
I will also be blogging later this week about conflict management strategies.
10.09.08
I've found this rule to be effective in dealing with any kind of conflict:
Whenever someone does something that pisses you off, chances are that they didn't do it on purpose.
This makes the offense much less personal, and allows you to deal with the issue, rather than just getting angry and causing the conflict to escalate.
Try it out.
10.09.08
Scott, so true! Funny enough, we used to say that in my sorority. Not that it kept us drama free, but I like to think it might have helped =D
10.09.08
Conflict can be very helpful and constructive, but it can also be unnecessary. I think a pick-your-battles approach is often best. I used to work with a woman who would pick fights at work every time she and her boyfriend weren't getting along (which was always) and it wasn't ever worth is trying to resolve the conflicts with her. It was better to just avoid her as much as possible and let her self-destruct.
10.09.08
Scott M and Erika- sage advice! Depersonalizing the conflict creates a more rational approach, and sometimes the conflict is not worth a high energy response.
Those are two big components of the conflict survival skills post I am writing later today.
Monica- LOL at the sorority comment. I mean is there really any way to stop drama when you have 80 women living together and sharing 2 bathrooms (at least that was the setup in my sorority)?
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