After starting a new job a few weeks ago, I was wondering how I should go about revealing my chronic digestive disorder. It’s something I would love to keep a secret, but it’s something I can only hide for so long — I’ve found this out again and again. It really can get in the way some days, and if someone doesn’t know what I’m dealing with, they may sometimes think my behavior a little peculiar.

I didn’t want to come clean too early. I was afraid if I mentioned my condition right away, I would set a bad precedent. I would look weak or high-maintainence. I also didn’t feel the need to mention it if I didn’t have any real reason to.

Then, last week, I had a two-on-one training meeting. An IBSer’s worst nightmare! If I’m feeling bad in a big meeting, I can just slip out for a moment, often unnoticed. Not so in something this small. Half-way through the training, I just wasn’t feeling great. My stomach was twisting into knots. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore and said, “Could I please go use the restroom for a minute?” My boss said yes and I left for a few moments. I returned and we continued without any awkwardness, I think, though I’m not sure what was said while I was gone. However, I was worried about what my boss would think if this happened again and again. I didn’t want her to think I was impolite or had bad office etiquette.

We had another meeting with a larger group right after that. My boss and I were the first people in the room in the few minutes before the meeting started. I felt like it was a good time to spill the beans; I’d already put in a few good weeks of work to prove I was solid, but I’d encountered a situation that made it a good time to bring things up. I told her I thought I should let her know that I have a chronic digestive condition that causes me to feel unwell a lot, and if I get up to leave a meeting or conversation abruptly, I’m not being rude — I am just feeling a little sick and will be back in a few minutes. Her first question was, “Oh my gosh, are you OK?” I assured her I was fine and it wasn’t anything to worry about — just an inconvenience that may cause a little odd behavior every now and then.

A co-worker I get along well with and I had a conversation about it the same day, but it was much more of a peer-to-peer conversation — she’s had some health issues in that area too and we were able to laugh and joke about it, and commiserate quite a bit. That made me feel a lot more comfortable.

At this job, I have a laptop that has VPN access, so if I need to work at home, I can still do my work. I haven’t directly asked my boss about this yet but I’ve been told that it’s possible from time to time. Perhaps if I continue to do well and prove myself, I can be allowed to do that on bad days.

I feel a lot of relief that my boss and coworker know about my condition; I always dread having to come clean about it. Sure, it’s embarrassing, but people are more sympathetic when they know what’s going on. I would hate for them to think I was being impolite or just acting wacky. If it was something I could hide all the time, I would have kept it a secret, but it’s unfortunately a syndrome I can only keep masked for so long. I’ve found that honesty works best.