Thinking of moving to Denver? I don't blame you. It has a lot to offer--Denver great weather, easy access to nature, and an open and innovative group of people always working to make the city better.

But like all cities, we have our quirks. Our downtown public transit pales in comparison to, say, Chicago's. You're considered lazy if you don't do something outdoors at least once a day. And our people--they're pretty quirky, too, and they'll be quick to find out more about you. Here's my take on your best responses to the top questions you will be asked.

1. Do you ski?

If you ski (or snowboard), this one is easy. Your answer will be "yes" and a 2-hour discussion about powder, bindings, boots, and superior resort passes can ensue.

If your answer is no, however, you have to be prepared. As soon as you say no, the word will sort of float out there, suspended in the air. In reality, only a brief moment will pass, but it will feel like five minutes. When the word finally hits the questioner in the face, he will look confused. "Well, do you snowboard?" This time, your "no" will almost echo. And then, you will get the following questions in quick succession: Have you ever skied? Do you want to learn how to ski? Why did you move here if you don't ski--do you have family here?

My favorite is always "Why don't you ski?" The question has always seemed as arbitrary to me as "why don't you knit?" My real answer is that there are other things I would rather spend my time and money on, but as the years have worn on, I've occasionally tossed out the more irreverent response, "Between the long drive into the mountains and the nature of the ski and resort industry, I just think it's bad for the environment." This mildly obnoxious answer is an effective way to end the litany of questions and remind the asker to tone it down a bit.

Tip: Cross country skiing is not considered skiing for the purposes of this question. Telemarking is. In fact, if you telemark, I recommend telling everyone before they even have a chance to ask. You will quickly be a VIP in any situation. Merely owning a telemark setup will increase your credibility. By the way--I have a great pair of once-used Tua telemark skis, if anyone is interested.

2. How fast did you run your last 5k/10k/half/marathon/ultra?

In some parts of the country, just running a race is considered an accomplishment. But here, running a race, preferably a marathon, is simply a threshold to cross when becoming a Denver resident--what's important is your time.

Answering this well requires understanding why the person is asking: competition. If you can honestly say, "My last marathon qualified me for Boston," do it. No response is better as it effectively uses envy to incapacitate the asker. Another great answer is, "This is my first race." This tells the asker that you are not a threat and he or she will then congratulate you on your first race and let you know about a great running club to join.

Tip: Don't lie. Thanks to the miracles of the Internet, your race times are broadcast to the whole world. You might think that only a petty person would look up your times. And you might be right. But then, if you were petty enough to lie about your time, you can bet the asker is petty enough to verify it.

3. Where did you come from?

Nobody who lives here is from here, which is not surprising given the amount of migration to Colorado. It used to be just people moving West, but now, with Californians even coming this way, we're getting hit from all sides.

If you are from the East, "back East" is really all you need to say.

If you are from the Midwest and you are asked this question, I recommend either saying the exact state or just saying "back East." People "from" Colorado will actually argue with you that Colorado is the Midwest. While we all know that Colorado is not considered the Midwest, they're argument is compelling when a map is pulled out (as long as you ignore things like history and the U.S. Census Bureau). It is better to avoid the discussion altogether.

If you are from California, I recommend pretending you are from somewhere else. Iowa is almost always a good choice. While I love the flair that the Southern Californians have brought to Denver, most others complain about over-crowding, which is especially amusing coming from people who just moved here 5 years ago.

People "from" Colorado take their status pretty seriously. It is such a big deal that a whole bumper sticker industry has grown up around it. Every grocery store and convenience shop sells stickers that look like our license plates but say "NATIVE" on them. People "from" Colorado slap these on their cars to let you know they were here first.

Tip: Believe it or not, you do not have to provide Safeway or Walgreens with a proof of birth to purchase a NATIVE sticker. In fact, all you have to do is pay about $5 and you can be a NATIVE, too, so be wary of those with the sticker. I've met NATIVEs who can track their Colorado roots back to their grandparents and NATIVEs who have been here 10 years.

4. Does anybody in this city work?

Unlike the last three questions, this is a question you will ask yourself. Probably as soon as your first day at work. You'll be heading to a meeting at 10:00am and you'll see some runners go by. Then you'll see a couple of bikers who are clearly heading out for a good, long trip. You might even pass someone about your age who is packing up his car with skis. And suddenly, you will ask yourself, "Does anybody in this city work?"

While there are many people I've met here who don't need to hold down any kind of serious job, the bulk of the fun-loving people you see enjoying their lives at all hours of the day are simply people who have designed their lives to work for them. Whether they left the corporate world to work for themselves or they demanded flexibility in their day jobs, they made room for the things they love. These people might look like they don't work, but they are typically high-achievers and it is safe to assume they work harder than you--they just make it look easy.

This all plays into my favorite thing about Denver. When the Democratic National Convention came to Denver and the downtown area was littered with signs demanding "Hope" and "Change," it occurred to me that many people moved to Denver for a change. They were sick of face time, gray suits, and dinners in the office. They wanted to be top professionals in their field, but they wanted to do it on their own terms. Denver cultivates a community that promotes a unique lifestyle.

Tip: It's not a bad lifestyle to have.