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I won’t be writing as much about love and relationships as I have been lately. I do, however, want to explain why because I am very committed to being open and honest with you guys. While it didn’t take me long to make this decision, it was a difficult one. My readers have told me repeatedly that they enjoy my relationship posts the most and that made it difficult, because I want to give you what you like to read.
That said, two big things came up yesterday, aided by one little comment on another blog. One is that I have entered weekly counseling. If you read this blog regularly, then you know I’ve been in a funk. And since I’ve always been completely honest with you all, you seem to know me, and you’ve been asking if I’m OK. After a few months of trying different things (exercise, diet, time alone, time together, on meds, off meds, relaxing), I’ve come to the conclusion that I can’t fix this one on my own.
A major part of my counseling centers around what it is that makes a strong, independent, intelligent young woman like myself turn into a weak, self-doubting nervous wreck in relationships. Call me crazy, but I think I need to give myself some privacy to work out these issues. My counselor has also asked me to keep the content of my sessions between him and me. Besides, I really don’t think you’ll want any relationship advice from the likes of me.
Also, Date #4 has been an avid reader since we first got together. The freedom I have enjoyed thus far in letting my writing roam far and wide through my relationship-related thoughts has lasted a lot longer than I thought it would. At this point in my relationship, I think it’s time to back off for both our sakes. I have to admit that there are posts I have would have a hard time dealing with if I were in his shoes.
A special thanks to Dad’s House here. The author responded in his own comment section on writing about relationships while they are ongoing: “In fact, I don’t blog about any relationships while I’m in them, out of respect to the other person.” It honestly hadn’t occurred to me that I was being disrespectful to Date #4 by broadcasting my joys, fears, and issues regarding our relationship to the world. Like I said, I’m not sure you want to take relationship advice from me.
Now, don’t think that I’m being secretive. I am happy to answer any questions you might have, love-related or otherwise, via email. Those of you who have emailed with me know I’m an open book. And this isn’t to say I won’t ever blog about love, my relationship, etc. I will, but only when I can be as open and honest as you are used to me being and can offer you something valuable without hurting anyone in the process.
Hey, maybe I’ve achieved some work/love balance after all.
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Comments
09.11.08
Personally, I think it's pretty honest and open to admit that there are certain things that aren't for public display (or discussion) in your life. There's a reason I keep references to my wife at a minimum. I don't necessarily have the right to discuss things about her.
09.11.08
I don't think that blogging about a relationship shows a lack of respect for the other person. Maybe, if your significant other specifically asks you not to write about him, or takes offense to it, then you should stop. But writing about your life (Every part of it) can actually be very therapeutic. Just try not to offend the people who are close to you!
09.11.08
@Norcross: That's a good point. I enjoy being out there with my life, if it can help anyone. I've read lots of bloggers who talk about why they do or don't blog about their relationships, and it's helped me come to this decision.
@Ryan Healy: I definitely won't stop writing about my relationship. I'm just not going to post it for the world to see, right now. Writing is very therapeutic, but when I'm having trouble sorting out my thoughts, what I think one day in a moment of anxiety might not be what I think the next when I'm calm again. That can be hard on an early relationship, if your SO is reading it.
09.11.08
Good for you! Just because you are a writer and have a blog doesn't mean you can't keep some things sacred in your relationship. I enjoy reading about your journey because I usually relate to your experiences, but I understand the need to work on things without the blogosphere's help!
I would suggest you still write about everything you're going through. You may not want to post it now, but maybe some day you will. Or, more importantly, it may help you gain some perspective by writing.
09.11.08
Good luck to you!
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