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When networking either face to face or online, trying to figure out the right questions to ask someone can be difficult sometimes. Here is my focused list of the top 10 questions I like asking people when Networking Effectively.
As you will see below, making sure that you ask questions starting with who, what, where, when, why and how ensures that quality conversation is exchanged between each of you over the course of the conversation. Merely asking yes/no questions gets you nowhere in a networking conversation and can lead to a lot of awkward silences, and weird exchanges.
Keeping in mind that people love talking about themselves, these questions will surely help you continually build better relationships with new contacts that you make, and allow you to grow relationships with new people you have already established a good rapport with.
1) What do you do?
This questions is a great opener question to get to know someone, as it is only natural to be curious about what the other person does for a living. After asking this question you can dive into a whole lot of other questions that keeps the conversation moving.
2) How long have you done it?
This question is a follow up to the “What do you do?” question, and shows you as the receiver of the answer how committed they are to what they have been currently doing.
3) What did you do before?
This question also gives you a feel for where your contact has been, and the type of cool experiences you can talk about as the conversation matures over the next 5-15 minutes of conversation.
4) What made you choose your profession?
I love hearing the answer to this question because when the other person is answering it, you can tell if they are really passionate about what they do, or are feeling a little stuck on their path of life. The answer to this question can lead to more interesting discussion as the conversation matures.
5) What school did you attend and what made you decide to go there?
It is always great to see if there are any connections that are made based on where you graduated from school. I have had many times where the other person says they went to a school that some of my friends graduated from, and then when I say “Did you know (a friend of mine)” they sometimes say they did. When they tell you why they went there, it also allows you to understand more about where they are coming from as a person.
6) What did you study in school?
This is also another great question that opens up more questions that can be answered throughout the conversation to help you get to know each other better on a more personal level. A great follow up question to this question would be, what influenced you to study ________?
7) What fun things do you like to do outside of work?
This question allows you to get to know a contact on a more personal level, and further opens up the possibility that you both can have a relationship outside of the “typical networking relationship.” Having many types interactions with your contacts is always a good thing, because as you expose and explore the many layers of each of you, the more trust that is built up in the relationship over time.
8 ) What is it in your life that inspires you?
This question uncovers the persons motivations and triggers that inspire them to take action on anything they choose to do. It is amazing to hear the answers to this question because I love seeing a persons eyes light up, and love hearing the passion in their voice.
9) What kind of books do you like to read, and what ones have had the greatest impact on you?
This is also one of my favorite questions to ask, as this question can lead to many other questions after they initially answer. I love asking this question toward the end of a conversation because it allows me to put the pieces of the puzzle together, and truly understand this person and where they are coming from. Sharing great books with old and new contacts is always fun, and further discussing the many topics and ideas in books themselves is truly enjoyable for me.
10) Where do you see yourself 5 years from today?
This question illustrates to you the person’s goals and motivations for their life, and further lets you know how you can possibly help them achieve whatever it is they have their mind set on. Helping your contacts get to where they want to go, will in turn help you get to where you want to go, because after helping them, they will feel an inner psychological obligation to help you in return!
11) How do you think we can mutually work together?
I know the headline says 10, but I like to under-promise and over-deliver. This question is the question that seals up the conversation to the T, because it truly shows that you are getting to know this person for the right reasons. Forming and building win/win relationships is the only way to network, and this question lets the other person know that you are true and genuine yourself!
I hope you enjoyed these questions! Please feel free to put other good ones that I may have missed in the comments section! I look forward to your responses!

Nice post, Scott. I also like questions that create the possibility for finding common ground for sharing ideas or connections. Example: Once you've asked a person what they do, I like to jump in with a question such as: "Interesting. What are the hot issues in that field these days?" Or, I find that another good conversation starter at networking gatherings can be "What brings you here?". I think any question that helps two people connect is a great place to start!

Kathleen,
Thanks!
I agree with you as well about finding common ground. I also like using the response "Interesting" and then ask them a follow up question related to their answer.
That second question "What brings you here?" is also a great question! I use this one myself and find it really effective!

Though the name of the book currently escapes me, I remember reading that during an initial conversation, Americans are much more likely to first ask someone what they do for a living, while Europeans generally ask someone where they are from.
I think you have a great set of questions -- no criticism whatsoever - but I feel that establishing some sort of connection over geography can be an effective technique as well. Asking about school probably accomplishes something similar ("Oh, you went to Harvard/ UNC-CH/ Arizona State University? I have family/friends from Mass/ NC/ the Southwest..."), but occasionally putting a focus on the school can seem a bit focused on the name/ prestige factor, while "Where are you from?" seems a touch more personal.
Regardless, you've certainly provided an excellent, definitely thought-provoking topic.

Glenn,
Thanks. I think you also bring up a good point. Geographically connecting with someone is certainly fun!
I love relating to people in so many ways, and making the mutual connections is something that helps you build more trust over time!

#11 is the one that most people don't talk about, yet it's the most important. I agree with Scott that you have to qualify the contact before asking them that question though or you're wasting both of your time.

Dan,
Thanks for the confirmation! Totally agree with you as well. By asking the people all of the questions before hand, you get a sense if this is someone you want to work with before you ask them that question!
Asking that question before ever getting to know the person would feel totally weird and awkward.
Love your blog Dan! Keep it up!

Good list Scott. One of the questions I ask along the same lines as your #9 is:
What is one book you have read that has changed your life?
I get some interesting answers with this question sometimes. I asked Randall Munroe (from the infamous cartoons at XKCD.com) at a conference once and he said Cryptonomicon by Neal Stephenson. Great book.

Alex,
That is a great way to focus my #9 question! Thanks for the tip!
I have to ask...What is your favorite book Alex?
One of my all time favorites is Rich Dad Poor Dad...
But my new favorite is The Toilet Paper Entrepreneur.

Definitely two that have changed my life:
1. Think And Grow Rich by Napolean Hill
2. How To Win Friends and Influence People

Alex,
I second your opinions!
What about the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Dale Carnegie

Great set of questions Scott! I just wanted to add a couple of additional ones that I am challenged to answer myself: 1)"If you had a week left to live, how would you spend your remaining days?" And,2)"If you could live anywhere, where would it be AND why?" Follow up to last: 3)"what three (3)items would you fight a bear before you part with them?" :) LOL
I have heard these in one form or another and just wanted to share! Keep up the excellent content!!! Oh and #11 is crucial and I believe can be danced around to an extent (asked indirectly in variations) but definitely not to be whipped out prematurely! Just doesn't fly.

I like how you not only had questions, but also explained why you would ask each question. I work at a staffing company in Boston, Hollister Staffing (www.hollisterstaff.com) and preach to my clients that it is crucial that they network. I'll have to pass this along to my clients that have a difficult time understanding how to network effectively.

Louisa,
What do you find that your clients fail in doing when they are networking?
Is there something I can write about on my blog that can tailor to helping them further?

My favorite thing to as when networking is, "Imagine you're talking to a college freshman and he or she has just asked for advice. What would you say?"

Erika,
That is a great question as well!
It definitely would put me on the spot!

The main thing I find my clients failing in when it comes to networking, is simply not getting to the right events where the right people will be. A great resource to find events is the local Business Journal (for me, the Boston Business Journal). A lot of times I also see my clients failing to follow up with people once they have started to network effectively. I try to tell them to develop a relationship with people, and to keep up with it whether that be though phone calls or email. This is crucial, as you never know when the people you meet now can help you in the future. Feel free to check out our website (www.hollisterstaff.com) as we have a lot of great resources that I think could help you in your future posts.
Thanks so much again!
Louisa

Louisa,
How about you do a guest post for my blog and include the link in the post...then I can add it to my blogroll. Thoughts?

I work with students and the biggest problem is they think a job will just land in their lap. They say networking is important, but they don't utilize it.
I thought these were some great questions especially since they were open ended questions.