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During the first year of my career, Sunday evening often left me with a feeling of dread, knowing that Monday was just around the corner. In theory, I liked my job—I was working for the digital department of a global PR agency, gaining valuable experience, working for a respected company and I had plenty of opportunities for advancement—but in reality, I was miserable, largely because I didn’t have the leadership I needed from my boss.
One week into my new job, he stopped by my desk in the middle of the afternoon to let me know that he was heading home, offering no explanation. I asked if he might give me some direction on the project I was working on before taking off, since I was just getting started with things. He agreed, and then proceeded to walk away and ignore my request, leaving me to fend for myself. This was the first of many occasions that left me wondering whether the position I was in was right for me.
More incidents soon followed. He went on to require that I run all of my work and ideas through him before moving forward, and then disappeared for days or weeks at a time, letting our projects slip behind schedule.
As a new grad, this terrified me. Had I make the wrong decision? Did anyone else feel this way? Should I look for another job, even though all of the career advice I could find find told me to stick it out for at least a year?
I certainly wasn’t the first to experience feelings of doubt, nor will I be the last (there are currently 463,000 results for "hate my job" in Google)—but there’s no reason to let poor leadership lead you into hopelessness.
Here are a few lessons I’ve learned that may help you deal with an unsatisfactory job as a result of poor leadership.
1. Talk to Others in Your Field
It’s hard to evaluate your current situation if it’s your first "real" job and you have nothing to compare it to. My gut told me that what I was experiencing wasn’t right, but it wasn’t until I talked to friends who worked for other agencies, or even other roles within my own agency, that I realized something might actually be off—that I had been left to fend for myself a few too many times.
2. See if You Can Redefine Your Current Role
In today’s economy, it’s not always easy to find another job. In most cases, it’s worth talking to another manager or someone in human resources about how to improve your current situation before jumping ship. When I put in my two weeks notice, everyone in HR expressed regret that they didn’t have the chance to make things better for me. The trouble was, I never thought to go to them, and I kept these issues to myself until it was too late.
3. If It’s Still Not Right, Don’t Be Afraid to Leave
If things aren’t improving after talking with a manager or HR, it may be time to move on. I don’t care if the general rule says that you have to stay on your first job for at least a year—your sanity and personal growth are more important. Disliking your job can be downright depressing and unhealthy. It’s ok to admit that things just aren’t getting better and move on to something new.
Your career is a huge part of your life, so feeling doubt about your job or manager can be difficult to go through. If you have gone through a similar experiences, I’d love to hear your thoughts on how you handled it.
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18 RESPONSES TO "HOW I FELT ON SUNDAY NIGHTS TOLD ME IT WAS TIME TO QUIT"
I find it very odd that HR was offering their assistance. Had you come to HR with these concerns any good HR professional would have asked you first if you had spoken with your supervisor. HR will mediate but not take on a problem for you unless their is evidence of discrimination. It's your responsibility to directly speak to your supervisor.
Outside of an HR perspective it seems you were the victim of a bad supervisor.
Leaving a job that is draining you is one of life's great pleasures in my opinion. Just ask yourself: what's the worst that can happen? Another lame job probably. That's not what you want but it won't kill you.
Good advice! It is important to be doing something that you enjoy in a comfortable environment. I work at a staffing company in Boston, Hollister Staffing (www.hollisterstaff.com) and have a great deal of people come in that are on the fence about quitting, but are reluctant because of stability their current job gives them and the lack of jobs out there right now. I think the advice that you offer is great, especially trying to redefine your current role. However, in my experience I've found that if you have become so unhappy with your current job, it is usually time to leave and pursue something new. Sunday nights should be spent relaxing, not having anxiety attacks!
Erin, I'm so glad you pointed this out. Getting required sign-off from a boss who isn't around can be incredibly frustrating.
Leaving wold be mice but when you have responsibilites and a family to feed makes it a different story. In todays employment environment people are hunkering down hoping to weather the layoffs. Employers know this and tend to abuse this employees during this time of hardships. Last recession I had a Supervisor state out loud during a meeting that "If you don't like it there's the door!"
Finding a job that has a teacher as a leader is tough to come by. Most managers and bosses can get the numbers and turn in paperwork to higher ups, but most simply do not have the leadership abilities to make everyone around them better. It's makes it even worse when the team members want to learn.
We should not dread Sundays, but embrace them as a new day to do something great. Luckily I feel that there are a lot of young professionals who feel this way and will become great leaders!
At my first "real" job I too experienced lack of leadership but it was from the corporate office. I had started working there for minimum wage but was promised a raise after 6 months. I learned so much and loved my colleagues but when they tried to encourage the raise to be given sooner, they were brutally rebuffed. Once I learned of this I was immediately turned off by the company. I felt insulted since the Admins in Manhattan were making way more and doing less since their office was not as understaffed as mine was.
And even when I volunteered to be an instructor while they looked for someone else I received no acknowledgement for it. It seemed as if they felt that that was my duty and expected of me. Long story short, I knew I had to go. It was the best decision because it definitely showed me how people will take advantage of you if you let them.
Talking to your supervisor can be a waite of time as well. I did that any only for my supervisor sending me into a deeper hell then before! In les than two years I have been (as per a lawyer) sexually harrassed (I'm a male), retaliated againts and discriminated.
I fully support quitting a job and have been self-employed for 95% of my career. However, I've also been on the other end of the scenario. I'm often put in charge of supervising interns or freelance writers and I resent when others can't take initiative and be self-starters. I'm not saying you weren't taking initiative, or that your boss wasn't flaky, but I just want to shed light on what it's like to have to manage. It's very difficult to give direction when you have a million other things on your plate. I find that the most valuable tool I've ever learned is how to work solo and how to do it very well. It makes my editors and supervisors value my get up and go attitude.
I didn't want this to turn into a rant, so I didn't go into all of the details of poor leadership vs. being a self starter.
Suffice it to say I did everything I could to push forward the projects that were lagging and be a self starter, but given the circumstances, there was only so much I could do in my particular position.
I agree that there is definitely a difference between employees who lack ambition and those who are being hampered on a daily basis by poor leadership or direction.
Suffice it to say that managers generally think people should be more self- directed, and employees think that their managers should provide leadership, and there is a vast gap in-between these opposing views.
The key is that managers should be very specific in their expectations. A manager's job is hard, but that's what you get for taking the position in the first place. I have some sympathy for managers who find themselves busy, on occasion. But I have very little sympathy for managers who say "I'm just too busy, can't you figure it out on your own?" time and time again. Busy doing what???? MANAGING is your job!
Supervisors, managers, and leaders are supposed to be a cut above the rest of us when it comes to managing lots of tasks and people. If you can't hack it, then get out. But don't whine that you find it "difficult give direction when you have a million other things on your plate". Excuse me? Giving direction is your primary responsibility! That's what managers DO!
Sorry, this is a pet peeve of mine. I find myself chronically under-managed and it's really making my life difficult.
My first job was a lot like this. Every Sunday night I felt a tiny little panic attack but thought that was normal. When I found out that people actually exist who don't dread their jobs it was a revelation for me. I'm in a new job now and Sunday nights herald no more anxiety.
In certain instances you are absolutely hindered by management. In many jobs you need sign-off (due to regulations, laws, SOX compliance, etc) and if your boss is not responsive or even present, where does that leave you? I sympathize GREATLY with Allie.
Learning how to diplomatically work through (and around) these types of situations (internal politics, processes, etc) is a great asset to any career minded person.
Your boss clearly had some issues with his leadership skills. You should have definitely addressed this with him or HR prior rather than bottling it up. I also get a sense of entitlement in this article that I find common millenials (and something I think will change in our new economy). Fresh out of college in your first job, does your boss really owe you any explanation for leaving the office? I've dealt with absentee bosses and it's extremely difficult -- but any entry level position at any company would require you run ideas by a senior person before sharing it with clients, etc. Was there anyone other than your boss that you could have discussed things with?
I trust you that this guy is a jerk, from reading your post -- but it also sounds like you handled the situation in an immature way.
Randy, I agree that I should have gone to HR earlier, which is why I wrote this – so that others can learn from my mistakes.
I have to ask, however, why you feel that it is acceptable for a manager to ignore his responsibilities toward those he has been tasked with managing.
That’s not what I meant. I just said that I don’t feel that as your supervisor, he owed you a reason for leaving abruptly. I am sensing entitlement in the tone of your article (of course you needed to run your work by someone, senior people do as well). Some workplaces are dysfunctional as a whole(mine is!) and some managers get into higher positions for reasons other than their management skills. I can think of a few at my place.
With that said, I believe that honest and direct communication usually leads to better outcomes.
Randy, my initial reaction to your comment was to get defensive, but I've thought about this, and as much as I dislike being fit into a stereotype like this, I can understand why you would think this from what I've written here.
I agree, there's something self-indulgent about the writing style.
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