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I’m sitting in an Austin coffee shop, staring out at the traffic passing by on their way to and from the university. A couple is arguing themselves in circles, even though they’ve already broken up. I’m having my first Clover brewed cup of coffee and appreciating that a drip coffee doesn’t taste bitter. I grab my headphones and turn the volume all the way up so I don’t jump in the couple’s fight and tell the girl she’s a hypocrite. I’m meant to relax now.
I just finished my interview a few hours ago, and it went well. I’m trying not to think of what it means or might mean. I’m trying not to run my own personal troop withdrawal time tables, not to figure out how much my present salary would equal in this higher cost of living market. I’m trying not to think of what it would mean for my own struggling relationship, trying not to hear the couple’s conversation that reminds me of the tears-inducing talk Date #4 and I had earlier this week.
No, I’m in Austin. I can tell this is my city. I plan to spend the next few days falling in love with it.
The stress leading into this interview has been unreal. Not only was I stressed out about the interview, but about the travel surrounding it, my relationship problems, and some financial issues that have surfaced. I really couldn’t afford it, but I needed a vacation. So, I’m taking one. I figured a stay at a mental facility would cost a lot more than the bed and breakfast I rented.
Even here, people seem a little surprised that I’m alone on vacation. I’m calling it my "solocation." I need some time to myself to not think for a while. I brought about 10 books with me, a journal and that’s about it. I’ve got the B&B until Saturday morning and I don’t need to be back in Corpus Christi until Monday. I’m not really sure where I’ll go or what I’ll do. I’ve got my car, a state parks pass and an adventurous spirit. So far all I’ve wanted to do is not pick up my phone, take a nap and eat something.
I do love not having any plans. I love not having anything to do, no place in particular to go. I especially love not knowing anybody.
Adventure.
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2 RESPONSES TO "AVOIDING A BREAKDOWN BY TAKING MY SOLO VACATION"
I often dream of "solocations." I have a couple spots picked out in my mind...congrats on getting your interview out of the way and enjoy your solitude!
One of my favorite writers, Rainer Marie Rilke, often wrote of solitude...here's a letter from his "Letters to a Young Poet" (one of my favorite books.)
If you have a few minutes, I'd give it a read, and perhaps it can give you something to think about as you sip your coffee!
http://www.sfgoth.com/~immanis/rilke/letter6.html
Yay, so glad you are liking Austin! I moved there for college in 2003, graduated in 2007, and haven't left. It's such a laid-back, music-loving, outdoorsy, friendly, awesome place. Holler at me if you need someone to show you around!
And yes, solocations are really awesome. This sumer I was in Europe for two weeks, and was with my mom the first week, with a friend in Germany a few nights, but did Paris for three nights all by myself. It was really cool getting to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I loved being anonymous. I'm happy to hear you're really enjoying your experience, too.
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