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Recently, the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) issued a new Compliance Manual regarding religious discrimination in the workplace. The press release states,
Religious discrimination charge filings with the EEOC nationwide have risen substantially over the past 15 years, doubling from 1,388 in Fiscal Year 1992 to a record level of 2,880 in FY 2007.
Do we have a rising problem with religious intolerance in the workplace or are more employees standing up for their rights? Both forces could be at work, but I feel that the biggest problem in the workplace is not religious indifference or tolerance.
The biggest problem in the workplace is people.
People of all races, ages, genders, religions and book club memberships can't seem to shut their yaps, focus on work, and get their jobs done without making life miserable for at least one other person in the office.
Why is that?
I know Christians who treat people in the GLBTQ community just like they treat everyone else. I know agnostics that are great friends with people of faith. I know atheists who are appalled and offended by anti-Semitic remarks.
Unfortunately, I also know people who have traded thoughtful problem solving and healthy communication for knee-jerk reactions to any religious expression in the workforce.
A reader of my blog recently wrote me the following email [emphasis mine],
Our newly hired HR Manager has put a very large cross on the wall in her office. I have to be in that office several times a day. I am very offended by the cross as I don't believe the HR manager should be displaying religious symbols or artifacts in a place where all applicants and employees will visit. I asked her to please remove it, as it is offensive to me, but she refused stating it is her constitutional right to display it. She is now playing Christian music when anyone is in her office. When I asked her about it, she stated it only bothers me because I am Jewish.
Am I being unreasonable in asking her to remove the cross and not play the music? I know other employees (we have a large Muslim and Hindu workforce) are very upset with it also. What would be the best thing to do, as I cannot go to her for guidance?
Right off the bat, I want to clarify that non-governmental employers technically have the right to “ban” any item, religious or not, from the workplace. Of course doing so is not only ridiculous, it invites more problems than it solves. Diversity is not the absence of differences. It is the inclusion and sincere acceptance of as many differences as possible.
I’m not a fan of the HR Manager who is described above, but I have more questions than answers for this reader.
If the answer is no, then perhaps my reader needs ask herself why this particular religious symbol offends her and then focus on reconciling her own problems.
The simple act of hanging a cross or playing religious music in the office does not constitute proselytizing or harassing an employee, in my opinion; however, if the HR Manager did proselytize, and continued to do so even after she has been asked to stop, she is then infringing upon my reader’s right to work in a harassment-free workplace. It is the company’s duty under the law to force the HR Manager to stop the harassing behavior.
We all have feelings. As long as our expression of those feelings do not infringe upon other’s rights, we should feel free to express them in the workplace.
I will take issue with the HR Manager’s reaction to the complaint about the cross in her office. She made a poor choice in defending her behavior with the statement that it’s her constitutional right to display religious symbols in the workplace – it’s not. Also, the HR Manager behaved in a passive-aggressive manner when she subverted the discussion of the cross in her office by mentioning the employee’s Jewish faith.
The issue isn’t religion in the workplace; it’s the inability of people to have a thoughtful discussion about religious differences without making assumptions and behaving in a confrontational and territorial way. Two people with diverging faiths – or no faith at all – can come together in a work environment and operate in a healthy and productive way. People can focus on a greater goal – the mission of an organization, the profitability of a company, etc., - without offending their co-workers or feeling as if they have to hide their cultural and spiritual side of life.
Next time you find yourself balking at a co-worker’s self-expression, adopt the old (but still very useful) adage and “walk a mile in their shoes” before you judge them. Better yet, don’t bother judging them at all.
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30 RESPONSES TO "HOW TO TALK ABOUT RELIGION WHEN YOU'RE AT WORK"
PHENOMENAL POST! This may be my favorite post of yours to date!
The quote "Diversity is not the absence of differences" is so right on!!!!
I'm more offended by coworkers who display University of Missouri stuff than religious symbols!! :)
My mom works for a company that created a "prayer" room because the muslim employees asked for a place for their daily prayers. That effort towards understanding and tolerance was met by hostility from other employees that felt left out. The room is now referred to as a "reflection" room open to all employees (which is exactly what it was intended to be in the first place). A little more understanding never hurt anybody!
Bre - Thanks. I think reflection rooms are a fantastic idea - as long as they are truly inclusive of all faiths and non-faith.
Scott - Many denominations of the Christian religion believe it is their duty to tell others about their faith and/or convert non-believers.
It doesn't have to be complicated and uncomfortable to get along with these folks. Let them know what behavior is not ok with you and ask them to respect that. Attacking them or playing games doesn't solve anything.
Underling - You're making me blush!
I'm going to be uncool and say that: Jesus is Lord. What in the confusing world could that mean? Jesus is the King promised to us from the beginning of human understanding.
Well done! I appreciate the way you were able to dissect the emailer's story and reveal the issues at play on both sides of the conflict.
Thanks Erika. Having been in HR for 7 years, I've had a lot of practice dissecting stories! ;)
When the topic of religion comes up I have no issues with ANY of them! But there are issues ... I have friends who are Buddist, Hindi, Wiccan, Christian, as well as others.
The problem is with some 'Christians' is that they are wanting to 'convert' me not even knowing what I believe! TO tehm eveyone is there for them to "save"!!! It's like a spam marketer! To those I say 'leave me alone!' (but then I am good playing devil's advocate and debate and counter anything they trow at me!)
I don't look at people like others do. I don't seek to 'convert' anyone. I view people for who they are, not what they are, or what they look like - regardless.
HR Wench rocks my world!
Love the POST! It's about time people stopped blaming other people for silly things like their choice in religion. My office is majority Christian in faith, I don't let it bother me (I'm a Neo-Pagan) and basically have learned to ignore it. Each to their own and what-ever floats your boat. One thing I do is hide my pentagram - I know unfortunately it will cause some co-workers to react in a negative fashion. I choose my battles and basically keep it to myself. Now I've had a few co-workers ask about it and I'll explain, but I've also seen a few sideways sneers the few times it slips out of my shirt. Work places are for work - NOT silly things like religious differences. It's the differences between everybody that makes things work.
Thank God there is another voice of reason on this site. I love this, "We all have feelings. As long as our expression of those feelings do not infringe upon other’s rights, we should feel free to express them in the workplace."
How to talk about religion at work: Don't. :)
I learned that the hard way with a co-worker. She told me that she was uncomfortable with me because of my "religiosity" and she didn't know what she could do infront of me (swear, talk about sex, etc.)
I'm not exactly an evangelical mind you, I was just telling someone else at a lunch about a personal struggle with religion.
I think that if music is allowed in the office, then it is that HR manager's right to play and listen to Christian music. I think that if decorations are allowed in the office, it's that HR manager's right to hang a cross.
People should be allowed to express their faith so long as it doesn't violate any of the rules of the office, is fair (so everyone has equal opportunity to do it) and does not include conversion attempts.
People are too sensitive and whiney. Get over it people.
CADWench - Nice name! It sounds like you have a pretty healthy perspective. I wish you felt a little freer & people wouldn't sneer at all, but as long as it works for you then great! The first steps are the most important ones.
Milena - Thanks. I used to work with a gal that called me "The Voice of Reason". Cracked me up but made me feel great, too!
Julie - That's one way to handle it, yes. It always bums me out when people make assumptions about religion though. I mean, why not just ask someone "I've heard x, what is your view?" If you don't want to know, that's fine, but don't promote assumptions, either.
Wench - We finally disagree on something! I've written about this before on my blog in my post "Leave your Values at the Door"
I think to be truly accessible and make all employees comfortable HR should be non-denominational and not discuss their values on any controversial subject. This is only true for HR though everyone else can do what they want.
Rachel - Yes, we do indeed disagree (we should have a party to mark the occasion!).
I think avoiding discussions of values is contrary to human nature. As long as HR pros are open, accepting and empathetic, I think they can talk about whatever they want.
For example, telling someone that I went to church on Sunday is not offensive or controversial, but communicates that I value my participation in a religion.
Now, if I tell someone, "You need to go to church" I am overstepping my boundaries and projecting my values onto someone else instead of simply expressing my own.
There is a difference and I think it's doable. If people don't think it's doable, then sure, they should just keep it out of the equation as much as they can.
Evan - You just helped me win a bet. Thanks!
I totally agree; the problem is people. Which is why, in general, a cross is NOT appropriate decor for an office where people are obligated to go. But for a personal space, that people enter upon invite, I think it is a great way to get to know someone!
Personally, I love individuals who weave their religious experience into their lives in a way that teaches and informs. It inspires me. I actually have learned so much from devoted individuals of religions that I do not share (like my instructor who gave me rides to the Kosher store or my friend who is a wonderful person and a devoted Catholic). But, in order for this situation to work, you have to understand diversity. A diverse workplace is not a multi-racial place with both genders well represented. It is a place where people are comfortable being themselves, and their personal passion is part of what makes them good employees. Diversity is hard, because people are ignorant (mostly by choice). That is why, in general, discussing religion, race, and gender in the workplace is a big no-no. Because unless the entire crowd is open-minded and mature, there will be someone offended.
Evan, that has absolutely no meaning to me as a Buddhist or to my wife, the Hindu.
Jesus is YOUR lord, not mine. I have absolutely no desire to have a king at all, even if he was "promised to us from the beginning of human understanding."
As far as I'm concerned, Jesus plays 3rd base for the Rangers AAA Farm Team.
And your pronouncement is not only uncool, but egotistical, overbearing, crass and arrogant.
And people wonder why I shun Christians...
Beth - You're right: diversity can be hard. Fear is a great motivator and people tend to fear what they don't understand. I wish more people would embrace fear (in an effort to work through it) instead of shun it.
Jrandom42 & Evan - Let's keep the comments on the issue at hand instead of creating more examples (that prove my point...unfortunately!). "The issue isn’t religion in the workplace; it’s the inability of people to have a thoughtful discussion about religious differences without making assumptions and behaving in a confrontational and territorial way."
How did I become the bad guy by telling the truth? Society is messed up. Just trying somehow to help someone out. Well, take it or leave it, I guess.
I agree with Rachel that it's problematic only because she's the HR rep who all candidates meet with. While this is simply an individual expression, some candidates are sure to get the wrong message and interpret it as being a heavily "Christian" company where they wouldn't fit in or feel comfortable. I know that I would be a little unnerved if I arrived for an interview and it took place underneath a gigantic cross. I personally would just ask about it, but I'm sure many people wouldn't and would go away with the wrong impression.
I think she's displaying bad judgment as an HR person. HR people need to accept that they're held to a different standard, and that's part of doing their job effectively.
Jenn said:
"Jrandom42 & Evan - Let’s keep the comments on the issue at hand instead of creating more examples (that prove my point…unfortunately!). "
Yeah...I figured that would happen at some point. I've been refreshing the comments since this morning. Is that how you won the bet? ;-)
AAM - Don't get me wrong, I personally don't think displaying a large religious emblem in "the interviewing room" is a smart move (for HR reps, managers, or anyone outside of a religious organization).
However, I reject the belief that HR professionals should, as Rachel said, "...be non-denominational and not discuss their values on any controversial subject." Yes, we're held to a higher standard, but we're also human beings, not robots.
It is possible to express yourself without offending someone else. However, it IS a two-way street. If people are so sensitive that when someone says "If Allah wills it" (or a similar phrase) and they are offended by that comment, then I think the "offendee" is the one with the problem. To me, the "offendee" needs to GET OVER IT already. It's not like the "offender" said "Allah hates you because you're not Muslim".
Alaia - It sure is!
A client of mine is Muslim. He employs about 40 people. He said that he throws a big company BBQ to celebrate the end of Ramadan. His employees for the most part are not Muslim. They are not "offended" rather they use this occasion to relax and have fun with their co-workers.
I am not religious, and I am not offended by anyone's crosses, stars of David, pentagrams, etc. But I don't appreciate being "preached to" at the office.
Evan - I'm happy for you.
"And your pronouncement is not only uncool, but egotistical, overbearing, crass and arrogant.
And people wonder why I shun Christians…"
Case in point why truly diverse workplaces never seem to work out. I kinda wanted to respond to this poster:
"If at the end, the Christians are right, then it will come to pass that Jesus actually is your Lord and Savior - so deal with that!"
That's just me being snarky though. I really don't see how Ethan was egotistical, just sharing his opinion on what is truth.
My policy on the word is to keep an open mind. It does not offend me when someone declares Jesus as Lord, or tells me that enlightenment is the way to peace or that I'll come back as a flea.
It's called respect. I respect Ethan for saying that Jesus is lord, and I respect Jrandom's beliefs as a Buddhist. Good for them for having spiritual world views.
I do think it's a little ridiculous to find someone elses unabashed declaration "overbearing, crass and arrogant."
If you don't want to shout your beliefs from a mountain top (or somewhat inappropriately insert them into the comments of a blog), then don't, but don't fault others who are comfortable with their beliefs.
Wow, this has been a meandering commentary. I better get back to work.
Well done Jenn. I think you struck a fine balance on this issue.
Quite frankly I wish we could actually discuss religious ideologies and doctrines MORE (though not necessarily at work), and not make it so much about the people who hold them. In other words: let's move the discussion from "my religion is better than yours" to WHY one religion might be better than another. What are the actual issues? What are the truth claims? What evidence is there? Does this line up with the realities of our world? How does it affect our daily lives? And so on.
When everyone takes everything personally, we can no longer talk about ideas and debate the issues. Everything becomes an ad hominem attack. It's time we engage in meaningful discussion about specifics instead of simply claiming to be offended and ending all discourse with one fell swoop.
Evan said:
"How did I become the bad guy by telling the truth? Society is messed up. Just trying somehow to help someone out. Well, take it or leave it, I guess."
Religion is a matter of faith. Truth must stand up to rigorous inspection and provable facts, neither of which appear in Evan's statement.
It's his proclaimation of absolute "truth" that his religious beliefs is what irks me the most, especially since it's a matter of faith that it is true, rather than having been proved true by examination, analysis and deduction.
Jenn, great post. Thoughtful.
I believe the analysis applies to more than religion as well. Recently I was asked by a candidate with our firm what the "political culture" was in the office. After some prying, he admitted that what he wanted to know was what were the partisan leanings of most. He said he was a staunch liberal that couldn't tolerate working around people who discussed conservative viewpoints "and the culture that it fostered." Your post, although directed at religious differences, gave me a flashback.
Kimberly - Now I'm craving BBQ! That is awesome. Thanks for sharing.
Julie - Meander all you want. It's a good way to brainstorm solutions! My point is one can express themselves without invading another's territory. While there is some debate on what that is or isn't, I think it's a start. :)
Ryan - Thank you and thanks for the opportunity.
Rob - Interesting! Your comment reminds me of something I ran into on online dating sites a lot a few years back...people would say "if you voted for GWB then DO NOT contact me". I always thought, why? Because you can't stand the thought of talking to someone who has a different opinion than you? Weird!
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I don't have a problem with most of my coworkers expressing their religious opinions, though I am an Atheist and mine is never as welcome. I do however think that people with certain jobs, such as HR, should willingly forfeit their rights or privileges to display religious symbols etc. in the workplace. As the first representation of an entire company to prospective employees, there is the potential to make anyone of a different faith feel uncomfortable or unwelcome. I know a lot of people these days are very loose-lipped with their views in this "age of acceptance," but to put on a professional and unbiased face is more important than witnessing at work.
get over it people. diversification in the office is about all religions. If bob wants to hang a cross, great. If Jim wants to pray on his breaks, so be it. If Judy wants to say God is not real, float your boat.
People having an issue with any of the above is the "real issue".
GOT SOMETHING TO SAY?