I'm Keeping Things Flexible, But With a Goal in Mind

As I wrote in my previous post, I’m trying to put together a plan — a six month plan, to be exact. Three months is too few and a year is too long…much, much too long. So, while I need to be flexible, have patience, and appreciate what I have, I also need to have some kind of goal in mind — both personally and financially — if I want to move forward and try to achieve my dreams.
This past year I’ve been “going with the flow,” trying to let life guide me. That’s easier said than done and has resulted in a very slow-go. While that “ride the tide” mindset has been freeing in some regards, I also believe that it has contributed to the familiar, uneasy feeling of stagnation – kind of akin to walking on a treadmill: I could walk for miles, but I would still end up in the same exact spot. Creating some kind of plan is the only course of action I can think of that will ease the restlessness and anxiety I’ve been harboring and get me off of that treadmill.
Here’s the lowdown of where I currently stand: I’m working a temporary job as I actively pursue a career in the publishing industry, which I’m eager to relocate for. My lease on my apartment is up in two months, and I can’t renew because a) I can’t afford another rent increase and b) it’ll put a hitch in that whole relocation thing. And, finally, most excitedly, I’m going to France for a month.
Taking all of this into consideration, it’s time to formulate a game plan.
First up: Identify the problems.
Problem 1: Let’s say that I’ll be staying in the area for the next six months…I’ll need to have a job that can support me financially while offering the flexibility I would require for opportunities that may arise. Problem #1 has been solved, thanks, in part, to my employers (see Solution #1).
Problem 2: Habitat. Residency. Domicile. Whatever word you choose (and trust me, I sat here with Roommate and a thesaurus for a good five minutes), the fact remains the same: my lease is up, and I need a place to live. While other problems play a role, this is by far the greater issue.
Problem 3: Financial stability. Right now, I have none. If I were to sign for a third year, I would really have none. Negative none. And I can’t go on like that for long. If I do go to France, I will need money to finance it, and if when I relocate, I’ll need to have money saved up in the case that I relocate without a job.
Ok, so now that we’ve identified the problems, let’s talk possible solutions. The good thing is that I have options; the bad, I’m still uncertain which one to take.
Solution #1: I had a meeting with my supervisor yesterday; they want to extend my assignment throughout the rest of the year, possibly longer. They are fully aware that I’m seeking a job in my field and that I have plans to relocate, and if I find my “dream job,” as they put it, they encourage me to pursue it. In the meantime, I was told, they would love to have me continue, even acquiring more responsibility. I told them that I would be more than happy to stay for as long as they might need me, but that I also had the opportunity to go abroad for a month. That’s an opportunity you can’t pass up, they said, and it wouldn’t be a problem — as long as I come back, they would have my job waiting for me.
It feels good to have established myself as a valuable employee, even as a temp, and having the support of your employers makes a world of difference. I could be cynical and say that maybe they’re making promises that they can’t keep, but that’s why I’m suddenly grateful that I’m working at a temporary agency — because it offers me the flexibility I need to inspire dreams and pursue opportunities that may never have been possible before. In short, one way or another, whether at this placement or a new one, upon my return I’ll still have a job. And that’s pretty reassuring.
Solution 2 and 3: These go hand in hand because what I decide as far as living arrangements will directly impact how I stand financially. I have two options:
a) Find a place where the rent is substantially cheaper and that will allow for a shorter, possibly month by month lease.
b) Move back home.
You know those “bang head here” signs that you see taped to the back of doors and desks? That’s kind of how I feel when I think about the situation.
I love home. In fact, lately I find myself spending more time there than at my own place. It’s absolutely a comfort thing, I’ll admit it. When everything else is so uncertain, it’s my one stability, the place that will never change.
With that being said, however, I really, really, really don’t want to move back home. I value my independence, I like feeling like an adult and having a place to call my own, and I can’t tell you how much I don’t want to be a part of the statistic. And yet, it’s the only thing that makes responsible sense right now.

  • I will be saving $500+ a month on rent and utilities. Saving. Meaning, whatever I earn will actually go into my bank account. And stay there! Imagine that!
  • It will provide me with the additional flexibility I need — if I go abroad for a month, I won’t have to pay for an apartment I won’t even be in, and if I find a job, I can easily move without any stipulations.
  • My parents are cool. I’m really lucky that they are so supportive, and I know that they will respect the fact that I’m an adult (or at least trying to be).
  • I won’t have to give up Riley (which I wasn’t really willing to do anyway, but this is an added bonus). The only negative is having to separate from Mikey for awhile, as a cat in the house is a no-no because of their dog; however, Mike is head-over-heels for Roommate’s cat anyway, so her taking both is one possibility, and I have some other friends who may be willing to take him in for awhile as another option.

Well, now that I’ve just sorted everything out, the answer is clear. I don’t exactly know how I feel about it all yet — relieved? depressed? I’m not entirely sure.
I do know that I feel optimistic now, as there are suddenly possibilities. I may not know exactly where I’m going, I may not have it all mapped out, but that just means that there’s room for flexibility and change. My plans are temporary and tentative, but they are serving as something to aim for, a direction to guide me as I navigate the next few months and move onto a new phase of my life.

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8 RESPONSES TO "I'M KEEPING THINGS FLEXIBLE, BUT WITH A GOAL IN MIND"

Kiersten Mitchell

Totally agree with KateNonymous. I've been juggling the idea of moving home as well and can completely relate to the uncertainty factor

August 2, 2008 12:59 am
KateNonymous

I think there's a big difference between living at home for a defined period of time because it makes the most sense in a particular set of circumstances, and never leaving because it's just so easy to stay.

If moving back in with your parents for, say, six months lets you set aside money for your trip to France and as "stake money" for relocating, maybe that makes the most sense. In that case you're working toward your goals in the most efficient way possible, not becoming a statistic.

August 1, 2008 11:13 pm
Smith+Fritzy

I think what you've done is really good. You've assessed your situation, where you'd like to be, and what you need to do to get there, with several options. Sometimes just giving ourselves the freedom to do what we want rather than feeling tied down to unimportant things will allow more doors to open up. While moving back with your parents may not be optimal, the thing is that you have that option if all else fails.

August 1, 2008 9:15 pm
Emily

I relate, too -- I'm trying to decide if I should relocate from Texas to New York to pursue a career in the publishing business. I'm from Texas, went to college here, now working here full-time...and am beginning to feel deathly afraid of stagnation. It's too easy to just get comfortable and not pursue your dreams, so kudos to you for putting together a plan for that. I hope I can do the same for myself.

August 3, 2008 4:55 am
KateNonymous

Emily, I don't know what kind of publishing you're interested in, but there's educational publishing in Austin. Depending on your interests and background, that might be worth pursuing.

August 3, 2008 6:51 am
Susan

@Ryan: The fact that things never work out the way I expect was a hard lesson to learn, and I sometimes still grapple with that, especially when I formulate a plan and then hold out hope that it will come true. It’s even more difficult when you’re not 100% sure what you want, but I’ve come to realize that things will unfold and I just need to give it, and myself, time. Thanks for writing.

@Keith: With so much uncertainty, figuring out my options was exactly what I needed, if only to reassure myself that there are possibilities and to ease some of my anxiety. I like how you say that you earn more independence in the end because I do believe this to be true. As much as I don’t really want to do it for all that it means I’ll be “giving up,” I really will be acquiring so much more -- not just by saving money (although that’s the motivator), but I’m beginning to think that I need to surround myself with family for just a little while. It will be interesting to see how moving back to my childhood home as an adult will change me; knowing it’s temporary and that it’s just a means to an end, it suddenly feels like it will be a great growing experience, both in how I view my familial relationships as well as how I view myself. Thanks for your very insightful comments!

@Smith+Fritzy: Your words ring true. In my situation, I could very easily be stubborn and fool myself into thinking that getting another place (or even resigning the lease) is the mature, responsible, “adult” decision, but really it would be a complete waste -- of time and money. I would be putting off the inevitable and I wouldn’t be getting anywhere. This decision has already lifted a weight from my mind through the opportunity it presents (the flexibility to move/go abroad), so while I may not like the idea of it for what it might take away, it really is the best decision for me for what it offers. Thanks!

@Kate: You always have such insightful comments, and your ability to assess my situation in simplistic terms has helped me to realize just how ok this decision really is. Sadly, I have a brother who hasn’t left because, basically, it is easy to stay, which is probably one of the reasons why I’m so hesitant to move back. I think that by setting a time frame, I can reassure myself that it’s only temporary, thus I won’t fall into that trap while trying to accomplish what I need to. As always, thanks for your comments and the extra reassurance!

@Kiersten: This is probably one of the most difficult decisions I’ve faced in a long time only because of that uncertainty factor. In fact, my whole purpose of the post was laying everything out so I could clearly see what my best option was. For a long time, I wondered if I should stick it out and just see where life took me -- surely a change had to come soon, right? That decision could be made for me? Sadly, this wasn’t the case for me, and as the months passed, I realized that I had to take some form of action and figure out a game plan for myself, which fortunately or unfortunately included moving home. I certainly hope that your situations become easier. Any decision you make will be a good one as long as you choose the one that you feel is right for you.

@Emily: I’ve since learned that you don’t necessarily have to follow your plans to the T, but having a goal, having a dream, is the first step to achieving anything. You’re absolutely right -- it’s so easy to get comfortable where you are and fall into a routine and that’s a scary thought; the thought of giving up on your dreams, however, is sometimes even more terrifying. Personally, I don’t know where I want to relocate yet, but I know that it’s something I have to do -- for my career and for myself. Pursuing your dream means taking risks and facing challenges, and that’s the scariest, and often most rewarding, part about it. I truly wish the very best of luck to you and hope that you will continue to pursue your dream.

August 3, 2008 1:03 pm
Ryan Paugh

Any plan you map out for yourself has to be flexible. Because things never work out to precision. And what you want will consistently alter itself.

You've got the right idea Susan. Best of luck.

August 1, 2008 4:00 pm
Keith Ashe

I agree with Ryan - flexible planning is paramount. You are dealing with an incredible amount of uncertainty. Uncertainty can be good, though. It sounds like you need options. The option to stay at home appears very valuable because it gives you the flexibility to afford to travel and save for your big move. It does require that you give up a little bit of independence for a while - but you earn more independence than you give up in the end.

August 1, 2008 6:15 pm

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