Print This
Email ThisI’ve never been a particularly brave individual. Courageous and outgoing were adjectives I never sought after. I erred on the side of practicality. I often found a way to cope with insecurities, navigating carefully around them, rather than actually overcoming them.
In middle school and high school, this manifested itself in the form of best friends. These close and trusting relationships often became a shield more than anything else. I could appear totally aloof and unaffected - so long as I had someone to talk to.
In college, freedom of choice (in classes, activities, etc.) became my cover. If I didn’t want to go out on a limb, I didn’t have to. I once had a professor point out that I didn’t talk much in class, but I got some of the best grades. He said I was just “quietly excelling” - I liked the statement.
This isn’t saying I never pushed myself, or aspired to anything. Just that my aspirations are usually right within my comfort zone, perhaps a few inches outside of it.
I am well accustomed to having a safety net–sympathetic professors, caring parents, friends. But now, entering into my career, I can’t help but feel like I’m walking on a tightrope with nothing below to break my fall.
In the workplace, having a shield isn’t a personal protection, it’s a personal hindrance. I know what I should do, what I have to do, but I can’t actually bring myself to do it. Just ticking tasks off a list are not good enough, even if I tick them off efficiently and effectively.
So, taking some cues from “An Introvert’s Guide to Networking” (Parts 1 and 2) and Milena Thomas’ 30 days of courage told via Twitter, it’s time for me to find my inner career confidence and let it shine. Or fake it. Whichever comes first.
I promise to,
- Try to believe “there are no stupid questions,” despite my belief that most of the questions I come up with are unnecessary.
- Send e-mails only second guessing my spelling, not obsessing over my word choice.
- Stop by at least one person’s office a day and strike up a casual conversation.
- Speak up in my meetings and offer my opinions.
- During said meetings, I will speak louder on conference calls so those on the other end can actually make out what I’m saying.
- Not dread networking events so much.
- Set goals for myself, and celebrate my success.
Has anyone else had a hard time finding yourself and your confidence in a new job? Any advice? 
For more timely, relevant, and engaging articles, subscribe to Brazen Careerist.
Well, the one thing you have to bee absolutely good at is communication. There is no bigger project killer than someone that doesn’t communicate. Fortunately for you, there are several ways to communicate that don’t require you to actually talk. I myself find it easy to talk to anyone, but for someone who doesn’t, talking can be a cumbersome task. Just realize that you are all there to do work, and a good ice breaker is talking about an aspect of work that you are trying to figure out or become more clear on. From there, your network of people to talk to will grow.
Hey there - thanks for the nod! Indeed, my 30 days of courage taught me a huge lesson. A lot of what I did would not seem difficult to many - like wearing shorts. But you have to understand I hadn’t worn shorts since middle school, then it’s clear why that was courageous.
I particularly love your “there are no stupid questions” declaration. It’s hard to do, especially if you are gunshy like I am. I always remember the things I’ve done wrong, and project that onto future situations instead of starting fresh each time.
As for networking, you are talking to someone who quit their job to work from home because I love being alone so much. It’s not that I don’t like people, or cannot strike up conversation, but as the guides you mentioned point out, I’m better with smaller groups - which is why I love teaching one on one.
I also find networking to be incredibly draining. I want to go to sleep as soon as I get home from on event where I have to be “on”. Some people find it invigorating, lucky them! I think just anticipating your “reaction” to networking can help you recover and plan ahead how to deal with it.
Anyways, sounds like you are on the right track!