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“It’s been… what? Two years since I saw you? Three? What’s new with you, mister?”
“Well, I’ve got a house being built in Idaho, so I’ll be heading out there in a couple months. You know, stay with my parents in the meantime.”
“Yeah? That’s exciting for you. Well, the house I mean, not the living with your parents thing.”
“You should visit sometime. I think you might actually like living there.”
“Okay. Sure thing. I’ll just pack up and move to Idaho because you said so.”
Well, about one year later to the date, I packed up and moved to Idaho because he said so. I hate it when my husband is right.
It’s been two years today since B and I loaded up the moving van in the blistering heat, waved goodbye to longtime friends, and ventured to the Gem State. With just one short weekend visit under my belt, I was nervous and excited. As the lights of Boise became visible through the thick, inky darkness of the mountain pass, my breath caught in my throat. This was real.
I’ve been questioned about the move and done some questioning myself, but in the end, it has resulted in some pretty wonderful things. Here’s what I’ve learned in the transition from city life to rural home.
- People are nice. They’re not nice all the time, and some are never nice at all, but in general, people are still friendly. I was actually taken aback the first few times that people said “hello” to me for no good reason. (It also becomes too easy to take that for granted.)
- There’s culture all around us. You don’t have to live in a big city to be around intelligent, creative people. You do, however, need to make more of an effort to seek out cultural events. People who assume that anywhere not on a coast lacks culture are, quite simply, kidding themselves.
- Being in a minority can be awkward, yet satisfying. For the first time in my life, I was surrounded by people who held vastly different opinions and beliefs than my own. It was kind of scary at first, but I got over it relatively quickly. Most people will agree to disagree, provided you’re not trying to offload your beliefs on them.
- Alienating people is rarely a good idea. That person you cut in front of in the post office? Yeah, they know 10 people who know you, including your boss. The kid at the drive through, taking your order? Yeah, he’ll be your city council person someday, in charge of zoning your neighborhood. In a small town, everyone’s a contact in some way. If you’re going to antagonize someone, you’d better have a darn good reason.
- You can be happy anywhere you choose. Happiness comes from within, not without. While the right locale can truly make your heart sing, the wrong one does not condemn you to a miserable life. ( I’m talking about safe, reasonably well-populated areas with jobs and modern conveniences, not war zones or refugee camps.) Happiness is a choice, one we can make each day regardless of geography.
So what’s your opinion? Am I way off base? Do you long to leave the city or would you eat candle wax before becoming rural? Hop into the comments and share what you think!
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Comments
07.15.08
Thanks for sharing this. Im from NYC and have been itching to get out of here. One of my closest friends is from a small town in Michigan and all of the things you mentioned are things she misses!
One thing I dont like about NYC is that it will only hang on to neighboroods if they can marketed and sold. I am slowly beginning to feel as if my hometown isnt really home any more. I have never lived in a small town but I get the impression that there is a greater sense of community and ownership of the neighborhood that is slowly being eroded in big cities.
07.15.08
Quick question, what was the transition like? Does your family visit you?
07.15.08
@Allison: The transition was pretty easy, especially since I was telecommuting at the time. We had some family move up with us, so we had an instant community, which helped greatly.
And, yeah, my family visits. In fact, they were just here last week. I see them less than I'd prefer, but my family relationships are as strong as ever.
07.15.08
Lived in a small town, and while there were some benefits, being an ethnic minorty was a huge hurdle I never got over in 15 years. Never got over being harassed by the cops, public works, the mayor, the city council or the planning commission. I've tried being helpful and a pleasant neighbor, but to no avail. Finally gave up and moved to a big metro area, and have found more acceptance and neighborliness than I did in a small town. Never going back there, except to gloat about my success, to a place where the economy is collapsing. Not a really nice thing, but schadenfreude in this case feels really good.
07.15.08
I've lived in Los Angeles (or the L.A. area) for my entire life. There are times I *really* want to leave but (a) I need warm weather and little to no rain or snow, so that cuts out many options, and (b) I don't think I could go rural. I don't know, obviously, but I don't think I could. I would probably already need to know people in "rural America" before I even considered making that jump. The geography on top of not knowing anyone would just be too much for me to handle at once.
One thing I like about Southern California is that moving to a new neighborhood can be like moving to a new world sometimes. L.A. isn't like other cities in that we have "the city" and then "the suburbs." L.A. is so spread out, it's kind of like a giant suburb without being *too* 'burb-ish (except for certain areas). So there's a good mix of city busyness, and tree lined streets with kids playing in the yard.
I had an internship in Small Town, Pennsylvania a few years back. It was really really hard for me. The only saving grace was the actual place I was staying for my internship (a kind of retreat/conference center - www.pendlehill.org for those who are curious) and the people who were in the program with me (who were from all over the world). It was definitely one of the best experiences of my life in that regard. But when I left I didn't think, "I could have stayed there forever!" Instead, I thought "I wish I could take that community and those people and plop them down in L.A. - then I'd have it made."
07.15.08
"Being in a minority can be awkward, yet satisfying. For the first time in my life, I was surrounded by people who held vastly different opinions and beliefs than my own. It was kind of scary at first, but I got over it relatively quickly."
As a not-so-liberal San Franciscan, Welcome to my world!
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