@Jrandom, thanks for you insight here, you are totally correct, and it helps to put in perspective.

Being a military girlfriend (that's why the boy's in Baltimore)I've been seen my share of the "you-don't-have-it-as-bad-as-I-do" Olympics. I have not once opened my mouth to say I miss him, for the fear being run out of the room by girls who address letters to Baghdad instead of Baltimore. But that doesn't mean I don't miss him, it means we've all found ourselves in a
situation where more sympathy, understanding, and most importantly, peace is needed and all of it's way too hard too find.

Your words have certainly humbled me, thanks again.

My own "quarter life crisis" happened right on time - 25. For me, it was spurred on by the realization that I was an alcoholic and needed help. Everything else changed, too, though. I was laid off, my boyfriend and I broke up, I moved out of our townhouse, and my car blew up... within a month.

Now that's extreme, but I've found with my friends also that these crises have a pattern: malaise/a feeling of inertia preceding a life-impacting event followed by a period of transformation. Having gone through that extreme example before most of my friends hit their crisis stage, I've sort of counseled a few of them through it.

Here's what I've found: We've had a prolonged adolescence. Despite paying my way through college and living on my own, I still have an "emergency card" that my mom pays. I used this for about a year when I ran out of money before my next pay period. For some reason, this life-changing event (whether it's getting sober or finally moving out of your parents' house or breaking up with your significant other) sparks a period of transformation. We begin to finally replace the ideas we questioned in college with ideas of our own. We start to make bold decisions on our own. We take proverbial leaps of faith in our lives. In short, we mature.

That's all a quarter-life crisis is - a painful period of maturation. I don't know about you, but nobody told me it would be so difficult. It's been like tearing down a house little by little until all your left with it the frame. Then there's a period of reconstruction. If you are painstaking in this period of your life, it will serve you well down the line.

My own "crisis" lasted about a year. I feel as if I'm just coming out of it. I learned so much, about life and about myself. My advice is not to just try to glean over it. Examine it, spend time on it. Tear down your house, imagine the perfect mature version of yourself and then do the actions. That's the hardest part - the mundane crap, like paying the bills on schedule, schlepping out of bed at 6 am to get to work on time, and skipping happy hour to go for a run. That's real life. That's what we have such a hard time adjusting to.

We're all just growing up. Finally.

Never had a quarter life crisis. On my 18th birthday, I got drafted and sent to Vietnam, along with 4 of my friends. I was the only one to return on my 19th birthday. Living the horrors, inanity, boredom and comedy that is life in a combat zone doesn’t allow you the luxury of having a crisis that doesn’t involve immediate life or death situations. You learn teamwork, what matters most, and maturity very quickly, because the price of not learning quickly is a body bag and a telegram with the Secretary’s regrets to your parents.

I suspect this hasn’t changed for any of the soldiers who graduated high school, enlisted and went directly to Iraq or Afghanistan after advanced training.