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You have officially moved into your new city post-graduation. Congratulations! You have a handle on the commute, the corporate culture and your daily tasks. You are on the path to success.
And then Friday night rolls around. Crap.
You have no social life.
Maintaining a work/life balance is important, especially when moving to a new city. Friends may be difficult to find, and finding good friends who share similar values and work ethic is even harder.
But finding those friends isn’t as hard as you think. It just takes stepping outside your comfort zone to make connections. Here are some guidelines I follow:
- Talk to people. It’s that simple. Waiting for the subway, tell the girl standing next to you that you like her scarf. Talk about the weather to the guy in line next to you. It may seem uncomfortable at first, but it can be a good networking exercise as well. Disclaimer: don’t be a creeper, just be social.
- Be open to different types of friends. That’s what moving to a different city is about. Talk to a variety of people. Just because you had a certain “type” of friend at home or in school doesn’t mean you can’t make very different friendships in your new home.
- Don’t sit at home. You work hard and want to relax. Go to a coffee shop and read. Sit in a park, go to the gym, take a walk. Put yourself in a social atmosphere and cancel that date with your TV and Ben & Jerry’s. Then follow #1.
- Be friendly, but not too friendly with co-workers. Spending time outside the office with co-workers may increase camaraderie, but don’t let it interfere with your professional life in the office.
- Don’t wait for the bar. Chances are you may make some friends at the bar. Just don’t wait to go out on Friday or Saturday night to make friends.
- Maintain your friendships from home. Continue to maintain your friends from school and home. With ever-changing social media it is easy to stay connected despite distance.
Solid friendships may be hard to come by, but by putting yourself in different social situations it may become easier.
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Comments
06.24.08
Thanks for great suggestions.
This is a real problem for me still. After college, and then graduate school, I could hardly believe how small my circle of friends became once I was in the 9 to 5 world. (#3, don't sit at home, is a biggie.)
I found volunteering at a soup kitchen on a weekly basis helpful, as I met other volunteers in my area. Some kind of church.spirituality activity works. Some people like "book clubs" or "investment clubs" or health clubs. (As you said, join the gym!)
I would add "get to know your neighbors" which is a practical and safety advantage too. (Who else would be willing to water your plants, or take in the mail, when you go on vacation?)
Thanks, for writing this.
06.24.08
Yvette- After graduating just a few weeks ago and speaking with friends who have started to work across the US, I can tell that making friends is more difficult after undergrad. I think it just takes stepping out of your comfort zone and routine- taking a different running route, volunteering, etc- to open yourself to new friendships and opportunities.
Thanks for your comment!
06.24.08
I know in some cities they have Young Professionals organizations. I am joining one right now and it's comprised of people in my exact situation.
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