Bodysnarking, a new term coined by Hannah Seligson, brilliant author of New Girl on the Job, is ugly. Thanks to the proliferation of gossip rags, tabloids, and blogs like Gawker and Perez Hilton (who I refuse to link to), everywhere we are becoming hyper-critical of the shapes around us. What was once a problem of women comparing themselves to magazine images silently in their bedrooms has escalated to online chatter of trash talk on Facebook and Flickr. Bodysnarking is the term to describe the everyday sarcasm-laced jibes directed at women everywhere, from the cafeteria to the corner office.

As Emily Gould described in her recent Times article, she began snarking at people in her blogging, and in turn, people began to snark her back, until she couldn't leave the house for fear of criticism of her everyday looks and clothing. It's everywhere, and it's contagious. A few weeks ago, I was in the locker room at the gym, flexing my biceps in the mirror to see my fitness progress, and I saw a woman walk by with a pear shaped figure. Before I knew it, my mind began to pick apart her appearance in her bathing suit as she headed for the whirlpool. When I think about that, I'm appalled at myself. How can I be an advocate for women, if I'm part of the problem?

And it's not just those quiet remarks we make to ourselves about passers-by and how we would wouldn't be caught dead with jeans that tight. It's the consumption of media that turns people of all walks of life into Exhibit A in Appearance Court. I used to enjoy reading Perez Hilton, scanning his ridiculous scribbled lines over celeb faces over breakfast in the morning. And one day, I realized that by visiting the site, I was adding to his traffic, producing more ad revenue and fame for him, which in turn, only pushes him (and bloggers like him) to continue to pick apart the appearances of women on a minute level. I stopped reading his site over a year ago, because I resolved not to be part of the viciousness.

The mean comments I had in mind for the woman at the gym were a wake up call. Instead of snarking, I've given myself a challenge: if I find myself in a hyper-critical mode, I make myself find something good about the woman I'm picturing. Instead of thinking of the girl in the too-short skirt as tacky, I'll admire her straight posture. Instead of remarking on a woman's weight, I'll think of how great her hair looks.

It's hard to adjust one's thinking when one is constantly bombarded with images on television, the Internet, and even the magazines in the supermarket checkout line of women who are being picked apart for failing to be completely flawless. A lot of emphasis today is put on accepting ourselves as beautiful no matter what we look like. We should be placing equal emphasis on accepting and appreciating those around us.