A 30,000 respondent survey completed by Cookie Magazine and AOL body found that one in three married American moms report past or current affairs and more than 3 in 4 women want more sex.

Cheating seems to be a direct result of not getting what you need, be it sex, attention, openness, what have you.

Renowned relationship therapist Michelle Weiner-Davis recently noted in Psychology Today that not being “in the mood” is no longer a problem limited to women.

But “low desire in men is America’s best-kept secret,” she says, and estimates that it affects “at least 20 to 25%” of adult males. For women, the figure is thought to be much higher, somewhere between 40 and 50%.

Weiner-Davis points to workplace stresses combined with home responsibilities and criticism as reasons for stifled libidos across the board. Huffington Post bloggers Colleen Dealy and Taylor Baldwin cite the complexities of modern marriage as the core reason.

Let’s face it, marriage is complicated, and it only becomes more so after having kids. If mom or dad feels rejected by the other, he or she may cheat. And if you’re married and you’ve got kids, you know that sex, or lack there of, can be loaded with a lot of other emotions and agendas that don’t have anything to do with lust, or even love.

In an era of multi-tasking, adults find themselves increasingly overextended by work and personal commitments. At the office, work hours are up, and job security is down. At home finances are tenuous and children are often scheduled for as many activities as adults — play dates, sports, coaching, music lessons. Parents ferry kids to and from commitments while juggling their own.

As with the isolation of technology, an overscheduled life leaves little room for developing and strengthening interpersonal relationships. Given our throw away culture due to our conditioning to expect instant gratification, it’s no wonder couples are looking for sexual satisfaction outside the framework of a monogamous relationship. It’s much easier to play with a new model, than try to figure out what’s gone wrong with the current one.

In the long run, not taking the time to work on the depth of connection in more intimate relationships will only serve to weaken platonic connections as well.

Have any of my readers engaged in an affair? Were you out just to scratch an itch, or were you looking for more than sex?