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Brian and I just spent our weekend in Granville, Ohio also known as the home of Dennison University. My cousin, Liz, graduated on Sunday with a degree in Biology and a minor in Chemistry. And since I’ve know taken it upon myself to market her resume, please email me if you think this bright young woman could be an asset to your team.
Of course when we arrived on campus, I got lots of questions along the lines of “Does this remind you of your college experience?” and in case you are curious, answering with a prompt “no” killed many conversations. My cousin Pete, who is much better at relating to my parents than I am, responded yes and thereby took his place as the golden boy for the weekend.
The truth is Liz’s college experience had nothing to do with mine. While the demographics for our respective institutions may appear to be very similar, our intents while in college were very different.
Liz was in college to succeed.
I was in college to learn.
I’m not saying that my cousin didn’t learn during her four years in school. I know she did. But she also made a lot of “right” decisions. She worked hard. She earned much better grades than I did. She was an All-American Soccer player (sadly, I was unable to convince her to lick Jon Stewart, who was presenting, when we went to receive her award). The most athletic thing I did in college was organize a streaking down academic row.
College served such different purposes for us. In college, I needed to rebel. In college, I needed to make really stupid decisions. I needed to make my mistakes and do things on my terms.
In college, I was able to embrace learning from my mistakes, whether those mistakes are academic or personal. And I’ve been able to use those mistakes to set myself up for professional success.
At the end of the day, your GPA isn’t printed on your diploma. No one has ever asked me in a job interview about what my grades looked like in statistics (I failed it twice). I needed to learn how to survive without my parents to make choices for me.
In college, the most important thing I learned was how to pick myself up from failure. At this point in your life, if you don’t know how to fail what do you really know?
Dorie,
Do you have any comments/response on jrandom42 or my explanation of how competitive athletic experience helps one in life. Did it help you understand?
It is possible to do anything.But there are some thing that are more likely then others.I'm guessing that since Dorie actualy knows Liz on a personal level she would be able to tell that maybe she didn't learn the same lessons.Thus bringing up the thought process for the contrast in the first place.If Dorie had seen that Liz had learned the same things then the post would have never happened.
I do understand your point now.I also think its kind of funny that no one else has posted an answer to any of these questions.Maybe its time to move on.
Thanks for the input.
@CarpetNinja
I think you missed the point of my comments.
I was saying, WHY do people imply that if you got a good GPA it MUST mean that you didn't LEARN anything?
The way I read it, it seemed like Dorie was implying that because Dorie was an overachiever, she didn't "learn" the life lessons Dorie did.
I was just asking why it is not possible to do both.
Sorry, second last paragraph, meant to say "...because LIZ was an overachiever..."
Reply @ - jrandom42
I can see how it could be understood that way but I don't think it was dorie's intent to imply that Liz didn't know anything about failing.I get the idea that someone less balanced would be a better example.Maybe an example of someone that leaves no room for error and limits themselves from the possibility of mistakes that could be valuable learning experiences.It sounds like Liz has these TENDENCIES but is not on the extreme.
Not everyone that goes to college is on a sports team that would provide all the wonderful benefits that you so eloquently listed for us.Some people go to college just to get the grades expected of them.I think the questions are posed to those people.Its an extreme and I am sure there are people out there that can do it all.
I didn't
To CarpenterNinja,
I quote: "The truth is Liz’s college experience had nothing to do with mine. While the demographics for our respective institutions may appear to be very similar, our intents while in college were very different.
Liz was in college to succeed.
I was in college to learn.
I’m not saying that my cousin didn’t learn during her four years in school. I know she did. But she also made a lot of “right” decisions. She worked hard. She earned much better grades than I did. She was an All-American Soccer player (sadly, I was unable to convince her to lick Jon Stewart, who was presenting, when we went to receive her award). The most athletic thing I did in college was organize a streaking down academic row."
Along with the title "Did College teach you how to fail too?" and the last 2 sentences "In college, the most important thing I learned was how to pick myself up from failure. At this point in your life, if you don’t know how to fail what do you really know?",
the whole idea her cousin had not known how to fail (in contrast to her own experience) was implied.
What I was doing, was pointing out that anyone involved in athletics knows about mistakes, loss and failure. It's one of the places to learn how to deal with the act of failing, the feelings of having failed or lost, and dealing with the consequences.
I was also pointing out what I learned from my athletic career that applied to the rest of my life.
Here's another one that I learned:
It's good to be excellent when everything goes right, but many times, it's greater to be merely decent when the world is falling apart around you
@ MarkSmith - It seems to me that you feel the need to deffend the fact that you worked hard and went to college to be in the "college to succeed" category.And that you may have been offended by the fact that Dorie may have eluded to the idea that the GPA you worked so hard for doesn't mean anything.I'm sure Dorie is proud of what she accomplished in school and has no reason to have to make herself "feel ok about it".
@ jrandom42 - "To say Liz didn’t know how to fail and come back from it,is wrong." Where the hell did that come from? Who said anything about liz not knowing how to fail?"I’m not saying that my cousin didn’t learn during her four years in school.I know she did.(Dorie)". Do you feel that Dorie is putting down people that play sports?
I think people are looking at this as if Dorie is attacking liz. I think she is mearly comparing the two experiences.I don't see anything that Dorie said that was intended to condemn Liz for the college experience that she chose.
I get it Mark is a lawyer that got good grades and jrandom42 is an athlete.Good job.I think you both should get cookies.
Dorie,
Your question is easily answered. There is the generic answer that sports teach dedication, leadership, commitment, teamwork, goal setting, dealing with failure etc...
There is the more concrete response. Imagine yourself being the best at something, as is the case as most high school athletes aspiring for NCAA glory. You work really, really hard for this success and are the object of admiration by your high school teammates.
Then you show your brazen self to college to be slowly pounded into your new status as a freshman, a loosing battle you will unsuccessfully try to claw out of.
As a personal example, I finished my first college season with a 1-13 atrocious varsity record in an individual sport, after being a state champ in high school. You are then forced to rebuild your splintered ego from scratch and it is only possible through extreme dedication.
All of this hard work is coupled with the fact that most college athletes participated in 2-3 sports while in high school and now have to focus on just one, forcing it to become a constant mental burden. Take into account that a season is about 4 months with a 2 month daily preseason commitment.
The dedication is made harder by the fact that there are no mental breaks; there are no opponents one can overlook, as is the case in high school. You have to always be on your best game or you will get embarrassed or worse yet, benched. All along, you are marred by injuries that prevent you from performing to your abilities. Injuries are almost inevitable in college, and at best they are nuisance and always require a mental battle to muster the energy to fight through them.
To onlookers and friends it might seem like a great community that throws awesome parties every Saturday night. Those parties are great in part because the team needs them as a cathartic release from the constant pressure both internal and external, (all high school teammates, family and friends follow your career closely). This however is all a farce, as it is a lonely journey that can only be finished by the most passionate and dedicated individuals. Any college athlete who tells you that they didn’t contemplate quitting is a liar.
To finish up, this is not a Cinderella story, nor is it Hollywood. Most people quit out of frustration, injuries, or lack of passion. My class initially had 9 but only 2 graduated while still on the team. Sports provide a foundation on which passion and determination can be nourished. EVERYTHING stems from it in some way. All the generic answers from the beginning are also true, but one can only truly know them after traveling the journey.
Obviously, sports are not the only path on this journey, but it is one of the most structured. People with this background have the experience and the mental tools to take on most of life adventures.
Couldn't agree more with jrandom42.
I always liked: Your opponent put his pants on one leg a time
(however, you know your in for a long night if your coach tells you that)
How sports influenced me, as a high school and college athlete:
1) You can't win them all, but you never know which ones you will win. Put your maximum best effort into everything.
2) Nobody starts as an expert. There's always a learning curve.
3) Someone will always be better, but that doesn't mean you can't be good.
4) Focus, preparation, study, discipline and practice will maximize whatever natural talents and skills you have.
5) Fatigue makes cowards of all of us. (my favorite Vince Lombardi quote)
6) Potential is nothing if it isn't backed up by performance
7) You don't have to like the players on your team, but you do have to mesh with them if you want to win.
8) Not everyone can be a superstar, but almost anyone can contribute to the team's success.
9)Success is fleeting. You can only stay at the top of your game for so long before Father Time steals everything.
10) Intelligence, hard work and discipline can partially compensate for a difference in natural talent
11) It's easy being a winner, but real character comes in dealing with losing.
12) No fear. No matter how well or poorly you perform, the sun will still rise, so be fearless on the field.
13) Whining is for babies.
14) There are going to be times, that no matter how well you prepared, no matter how good you are, you're gonna lose. That's the nature of sports. Deal with it and move on to the next game/season/activity.
This is just some of the things I've learned from my days as a Water Polo goalie in both high school and Division 1.
Mark - I'm not offended. For me, that was actually something I decided freshman year. It was how I justified taking courses that I might not do well in - for example sciences and math (hence the two failures in statistics, thankfully third time was a charm).
I can't say if it is a choice between growth experiences and good grades one has to make in college. I can only tell you what my choice was. I can also tell you that if a high GPA was my priority, I definitely would not have attended my undergrad institution.
jrandom42 - I'm going to go out on a limb and say that if she was interested in World Cup teams, she probably would not have made an active decision to attend a D-3 school.
Here's a question: I am not an athlete and I have no sports inclination whatsoever - could you explain to me how sports can teach you about life? Despite my cousin's athletic success, I have no understanding of what it takes and I would appreciate it if someone explained it to me.
Without intending in any way to offend, I think yours is a very common AFTER THE FACT rationale of people who have not done well academically at college that makes them feel OK about it.
There is so much being written now in the blogosphere about how university/college is not about your GPA. This discourse, often by omission, implies that you have to choose between good grades and having the holistic, growth experience of which you speak. When did it become a choice? Why can't you end with a good GPA and play for the soccer team AND learn all the things you learned?
When did academic achievement come to signify you had not learned "streetsmarts" also during this time?
And also, while they don't put your GPA on your diploma/degree, they DO print the fact that you graduated cum laude/magna cum laude/summa cum laude.
As a college athlete, dealing with failure, mistakes and loss is a given, unless your team was undefeated for all your college career and is at least 4-time defending NCAA champion. Even then, there are moments where you made the wrong decision, moved in the wrong direction, or executed the wrong play. To say Liz didn't know how to fail and come back from it, (How did you know she didn't want to be picked for the US Women's World Cup Team?) is wrong.
Sports can teach a whole lot about life, if you let it.
Woot! I have a twin =)
While I agree that sports/academics can teach you many life lessons, they don't teach you how to truly deal with "real" failure-the kind that conventional people talk about in hushed voices. Failure itself is a nasty beast; it can shatter your self-confidence and transmogrify your personal identity. Learning to bounce back from this nasty strain of "epic fail" is not something that can be achieved whilst in the warm embrace of the socially acceptable outlets of high academic or athletic performance. After all, there is a reason people want to avoid failing-it sucks!
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