5 Ways to Deal with the Control Freak Boss

Your boss is a control freak and you don’t know how to deal. Don’t worry—it’s not that difficult—you just need to understand where they are coming from. Control freaks are not born, they are made. Something or someone in their life has created uncertainty, so they have resorted to believing that the only way to ensure results or success is to take full control. This is a double-edged sword, because they want to see others step up and take control, but in reality they have an overriding desire to do it themselves so that they know that things got done properly.

So here are five tips for helping you deal with your control freak boss:

Frame it—for yourself. Don’t take their behavior personally. Be willing to see their behavior from an understanding perspective. Recognize that in order for them to ease up on control, they need to feel that they can trust you. You will have to prove to a control freak that you can keep up with them and that you can create the results.

Psych 101—most control freaks are strong driver personalities. Driver personality needs are speed, intelligence, results, no time for chit-chat, saving time, and do it now. The art of dealing with a driver personality is to say what you have to say in three sentences or less (3 word sentences are like paradise). So get to the point quickly, and be prepared in advance for any questions they may have. But don’t put up with the negative control freak behaviors, like over-controlling, overly perfectionist, and being highly critical. These are all bully behaviors and should not be tolerated by anyone.

Stand up to them. Control freaks love strong personalities. So have the courage to stand up to them. Let them know what you find difficult about working with them. Be willing to ask for the guidance and resources you need to do the things they are asking you to do. Work on win-win communication which is where you recognize their strengths and you assertively speak to your own strengths as well.

For example, if a funky control freak insists on something being done their way but you know there is a more efficient way, you could say something like this:

“I know you have tons of experience in this area and I respect that completely—I bring my own experience and value to the table here too, so I feel that by incorporating the suggestions I am making we could save time and ultimately make more money.”

In this example you are speaking the language of a strong driver, control freak person. You will find their respect for you will increase, and as long as you speak to their values (time and money) they will hear more of what you have to say.

Respect them. You don’t have to like them, but you have to admit that the ability to move quickly and get things done is a great asset. So focus on those strengths, but don’t be afraid to give them feedback on how to shift their behavior for even greater results. Respecting your control freak boss means telling them the truth as you see it, even when it challenges him directly.

Love Them or Leave Them. If the behaviors are simply not positive, and you have tried everything (mastering your communication skills, worked at understanding their personality, tried taking them for lunch, along with taking every course available on dealing with difficult people, then I say it is time to call ‘uncle.’ We have three choices—accept, change, or leave. And if after struggling to both accept and personally change, there is clearly only one choice left. Remember though that wherever you go, there will always be a control freak to contend with.

Learning to love a control freak could be the most rewarding and liberating thing you ever do. If a funky control freak loves you, they can become the best ally you will ever make. They will make sure they take care of you, help you with your career, and help you take positive control of your life.

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