For a job interview, the Internet is replete with the age-old, sage advice to just “be yourself.”
I feel hard-pressed to think of any advice that is more ill-conceived or unfounded in reality. Why is it that we have finally realized that your CV (resumé) should not be a bare-bones snapshot of “you”, but rather an artistic reconstruction of your best “you”, while we are still being told time and again to “be ourselves” once that CV actually secures us the interview.
As a veteran of more than 10 part and full time jobs since the age of 16, I have learnt that, while you should not lie, for the simple reasons that lying leaves you with too much to remember and opens you up to the possibility of telling new lies that contradict your old ones (just hypothetically speaking, of course!), you can and should be the version of yourself that best meets the requirements of a particular job.
For instance, in a job interview situation, reveal the you that has a hunger for knowledge, has confidence in your abilities, has a work-life balance, works well with people and has good time management. Be the version of you that is ambitious (in a non-offputting, megalomaniac way), is a team-player, is entrepreneurial and a self-starter.
Be the you that most closely approximates what you perceive to be the recruiter’s wish-list for the job. A job interview is no time to be honest and reflective about what you believe your true strengths and gifts to be. If you are applying for the job, some part of you believes that you have the requisite skills. And your own assessment of where your talents lie is rarely, if ever, accurate, and in 90% of the population, likely to be an understatement of your actual skills quotient. More important than any of these, talk yourself up because you are applying for this job to learn these skills. That is what working is. Working, especially straight out of university, is learning for money. And the person interviewing you knows that.
At all costs, even the cost of slight dishonesty, suppress the you that has student loans mounting, that worries about money, that is at your wit’s end with the baby-boomer-engineered, dues-paying ARSELICKOCRACY, that is a perfectionist who assumes others will always get things wrong. Do not even think about this other person the morning of the interview, or even the day/week/month before. Because if you do, this other you will show himself or herself to your interviewer, without your inviting him / her into the room.
And despite the opinions of some in the blogosphere (I’m referring to the first comment), never be the needy, desperate you that may consider taking a bottle of sleeping pills if the job is not offered to you. Never show that you need the job, whether for your own self-worth or the money. Without being cocky, show the you that will deign to consider this job, should an offer presents itself, as one of many possible offers.
The traditional objection to the above is that then, the company will not be hiring the real you. And the relationship will be bound to break down. To that, I say, absolute nonsense! Be that ideal, interview-friendly you for the first 3 months. It is still you, albeit a photoshopped version of you. Prove your abilities and your worth. Once you have done that, you will have your employer in a “friendly” stranglehold. You will have demonstrated your value, and hopefully, your irreplaceability, to them. And at this point, you will have ample opportunity to introduce the “real” you (gradually, of course), the one with anxieties, insecurities and imperfections. The one that is worried he is not climbing the arselickocracy-ladder fast enough.
None of this is conjecture. I speak from hard-won experience.
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Great post. You’ve spelled out what I’ve always believed and I couldn’t agree more.
I actually know a hilarious story about someone who was naively honest in an interview for a part-time job that was definitely below his skill set. He ended up not getting the job because he answered a very basic question with an honest answer (reflecting his somewhat alternate world view) rather than an answer that the employer would obviously want to hear.
The point is an interview is an opportunity to sell yourself. There’s no need to lie, as you point out, but when you’re selling anything you focus on the positives and highlight the good stuff. Same strategy should be used in an interview.
Very well put.
I think all this Gen-Y blogosphere talk about work-life balance has either been misinterpreted or taken too for with respect to interviews.
You should definitely have a life outside of work (or so I have heard), but your first interview is no time to introduce the dirty laundry in that life someone you’ve just met.
I think desperation and extreme eccentrism are looks that few, if any, prospective job candidates can pull off.
Mark, I think this advice is spot on. It’s sort of like a first date, because you’re carefully managing your image. Yes, it’s still you, it’s just the version of you that someone would want to hire (or date).
I totally agree with you on most of it. But the best advice I got from an employer during an interview was this…if you aren’t fully honest with us, you might be stuck in a job that isn’t right for you (even if you think it might be). Like Mark, I’ve had several jobs and interviews and have been working since I was 17; but I have to agree with my employer. There have been times when I was convinced that a job was right for me, played the right “part of me”, got an offer, and was miserable later. So also consider this when you are interviewing. (Speaking of which, I have an interview tomorrow!)
When it comes down to it, you get hired because the decision maker LIKES you. I wish it was the quality of your work or your determination. But it’s a lot more like high school. The homecoming queen is not the prettiest girl, she’s the most popular.
One thing hiring managers really seem to hate is the smell of desperation. An eagerness for the job often comes across that way. Like the kid who wants too much to be in the cool group.
That’s not to say you shouldn’t be good at your job. You won’t get the interview without the correct skill set and experience. But once you get in that door, it’s all about how much the person LIKES you.
So, here’s my advice: Be cool. And don’t try to be someone you are not. So be yourself. Just don’t say anything stupid. Don’t use jargon. Don’t one-up the interviewer. Don’t be an jerk. Let them talk. Ask them questions about themselves. Act interested and impressed. Compliment, but don’t kiss ass. You don’t need to convince them you’re the smartest. You need to convince them that you can get along with the smartest people.
And Ally, good luck with that interview.
Wow it seems like everyone is agreeing with you for some reason. I however must say that you’re completely wrong. I understand what you mean when you say, “be your best you,” but completely disagree when you write “A job interview is no time to be honest and reflective about what you believe your true strengths and gifts to be.”
So you’re literally advocating people to be dishonest about themselves, lie about their skill sets, exaggerate all their stories, and pretend to fit into the company culture just to get a job. I would think most people are better than that. What kind of person has to create a fake persona just to get a job.
If your honest self does not get the job, then the job just wasn’t meant for you.
“Be that ideal, interview-friendly you for the first 3 months. It is still you, albeit a photoshopped version of you.” Translated, this means be a fake person. I don’t feel it is right to advise us Gen Yers to be fake just to get some corporate job. Why should we pretend to be something we are not just so that we can fit in with all the Gen X?
Susan, same thing for dating. Aren’t you tired of going out with a person’s “representative.” Just be real in every situation that you are in. That is the real message that you should be giving.
The Generation Y is not about holding back our true beliefs or our true image just to make someone else happy. If someone doesn’t give us the job because we were being ourselves, then it’s their loss. Why would I want to work with a company that doesn’t fit my personality and culture? Plus, if you’re telling everyone to pretend they have a skill-set when they don’t, then there are going to be a lot of unqualified people in job positions in the future.
Looking forward to hearing back
I completely agree with your post. I would add that you should probably be a highly caffeinated version of yourself- full of energy and optimism.
“Be yourself” is pointless advice. You have to focus on your strengths and pretty much forget about your weaknesses for the time that you’re talking to the person who will decide your future. And you have to practice answering lame questions like an actor memorizing lines.
“As a veteran of more than 10 part and full time jobs since the age of 16 … I speak from hard-won experience.
I’m curious: How many full time, post-university jobs has this strategy worked for?
Interesting responses. I’m also amazed, but not surprised at the comment about being fake on a first date as well! lol
I agree completely with Jun, he pretty much said what I was thinking as I read the article…
“If your honest self does not get the job, then the job just wasn’t meant for you.”
Mark, I really enjoy your blog, Jacci sent me the link.
I must say I think that for some jobs you do have to be your best self. That was my first job - but it didn’t take me long (a little less than a year) to realize I don’t want those types of jobs.
To be honest, I’m a complete mutant when it comes to interviewing. I’m totally honest with people, and do not prepare for interviews. I also do really stupid things, like show up late (not on purpose). But it still works out for me usually, because some companies and managers appreciate rawness and transparency - those are the jobs I want to get offers for.
But that’s just me! If you dream of big four firms or fortune 100’s, you should conform to that interview style. My grad school is doing on campus recruiting right now and they literally have all day workshops to prep students for this stuff. It’s craziness.
Thanks for the comments, everyone. I am in a different timezone, not too lazy to reply, I promise.
Jun: thanks for the rebuttal. I didn’t use the word fake anywhere. I said be the best version of yourself for the first 3 months. That is not the same thing. I think your advice is good but VERY idealistic, and if too many people followed it, 80% of graduates would never get jobs.
I think it is also accepted practice to “embellish” in interviews….for the record, I do regret my use of the word dishonesty, and should have replaced it with exaggeration, as this is what I was getting at.
Ian: the strategy has worked for ALL my post undergrad full time jobs. That’s 4.
Susan, GenerationXpert: you guys don’t know how right you are. That first impression is all about liking you, SO analogous to a first date. When they first meet with you, especially straight out of university, you have no real credentials or experience to speak of. The same on a first date. The person does not know how good you will be in bed or how good a provider you will be for your (future) children. Hence, they need to LIKE you to take it further.
And although I didn’t say that explicitly, when I war ranting about being your best you, this is what I was trying to get across.
Monica: Thanks! I think there will always be room for mutants. I rather like mutants. My post was directed at people who are trying to get in by the baby boomer rules. It’s all very idealistic to say “Let’s change the rules”. I agree, in principle, but don’t think your first interview is the place to start. That’s why my message is:
Get in on their terms. Make them love you. And then you will have them in what I called “a friendly stranglehold”. And THAT is the time to start changing the rules/culture.
One thing I try for is to be a version of my real self at work. I can be pretty moody in real life, which has no place in the office, so I tone that down for work. On the other hand, I’d never skip over my sense of humor. I think it’s a balance of finding a way to be comfortable with yourself–in a work-appropriate way.