04.13.08
As a young woman in the workforce, I am bombarded with media stories about the “Mommy Wars” between working mothers and stay-at-home moms and the “off-ramping/on-ramping” a woman’s career takes if she decides take an off-ramp from the freeway of corporate life to raise children. How to best approach working motherhood seems to be a […]
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3 Responses to “For Women, Having It All Isn’t”
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“Ultimately, I think women should feel lucky to even have choices and stop struggling with what others think of their decisions.”
I agree, however, the reason we have this problem in the first place is because of how much we use our careers as a way to define ourselves as people. Both men and women are obsessed with being able to answer the question, “What do you do?” in a way that gets respect. I’d argue that no other society in the world puts career on a pedestal like we do.
I ditto your perspective. We need to stop making choices based on impressing others, and instead, make choices that impress ourselves - and then, respect all women for whatever they choose. It’s the only way we’ll see the Mommy Wars end.
Great insight. I just did a post on my blog about having a Second Life - living different roles and lives throughout the day. I think this can relate back to your article. I feel like there is pressure for women to do it all, and we just can’t sometimes so we make certain choices. I guess the question remains - we have choices, but which do we make that is best for ourselves?
I think that Penelope nailed it by saying that you either need to have someone at home or hire someone to be at home if mom and dad work in demanding jobs. (Note that these demanding jobs aren’t always also high paying positions.)
The problem is that society still unfairly targets the mom who chooses to focus on her career and assumes the dad will continue his working trajectory as before. (Just take a look at the comments from Penelope’s article to see the vitriolic responses.)
The fact is, no one can “have it all.” There are sacrifices. Being honest about it is good for all of us. As a young woman facing these decisions, you should know that it can be a difficult road.
Miriam Salpeter
Keppie Careers