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Email ThisA couple of weeks ago Penelope and I went to a meeting in
Needless to say, I was doing everything I could to keep from bursting out in laughter, and Penelope had a look of shock on her face. We later came to find out that the group thought Penelope and I were roughly the same age, and some even thought I was older than her! (I’m actually 23 and she is 41.)
While most women love to hear they look much younger than they are, it’s not necessarily a good thing when you’re trying to get people to invest in your start-up company. People seem to think that if you’re older you have a better chance of being successful. I don’t think it’s true, but it’s something you have to deal with as a young professional.
Here are 3 ways to make people think you’re older than you actually are.
Dress up, but don’t blend in
When I gave my first speech I wore a blue collared shirt and black slacks. The point was to dress up and look like the group of Human Resource professionals I was talking to. It totally backfired.
First, I don’t really feel comfortable in slacks and a shirt, it’s not me. And by trying to blend in with the rest of the group, it was obvious that I was much younger than they were. My pants were a little baggier, my shirt was kind of flashy, and I had my patented 5 o’clock shadow. Something was obviously off.
Since then I’ve come up with my own look. I dress up, but I do it in my own way by wearing nice jeans, a button down shirt and a blazer. I feel totally comfortable in this outfit and it lets people know that I’m comfortable standing out, while still dressing up. Wear what makes you most comfortable and your confidence will be unmistakable.
Answer questions with confidence, even if you’re lying
Older business folks love to ask tough questions to see what kind of answer you’re going to give. It’s kind of like an interview every time you meet with a new group. So think of it like an interview and give an answer.
The actual answer you give, whether in front of a group or talking one on one, is much less important then how you say it. Make something up if you have to.
One of the most common questions I get is, “What’s your role in the company?” The truth is that in a three-person company, everyone does everything, but that answer can only get you in trouble. So one day I will say I manage finances and day to day operations and the next day I will say that I manage production. Both answers are right, but I’m much better off giving one simple answer and saying it with confidence.
Avoid “kid conversations” at all costs!
Unless you have children, it’s imperative that you avoid the conversation about children. Older people love to talk about their children. I know I will do the same when I have kids, but these conversations can only get you into trouble if you are young. This was my downfall at IBM.
Every time my co-workers at IBM brought up their kids’ little league tournament or basketball practice, all I could think to say was something like “my little league team almost won the state title.” Or “I used to hate basketball practice!” I mean, I was playing little league ten years ago, so it makes sense that I remember it well. But it always alienated me from the conversation.
The best thing you can do in a “kid conversation” is stay quiet, laugh and nod your head. Your time will come; don’t try to join the kid conversation too early.
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There are people who try put-downs of various sorts. They are are insecure. That’s all. There is no need for you to be insecure too!
With a little active listening, you can recognize their insecurity and turn it into a good basis for a relationship.
Penelope could have answered “Your daughter must be proud of you!” Then your associate is likely to have talked about his family. After a few moments of listening to his story, you could have moved on to doing business in a trusted place.
Your second way to make people think you’re older than you actually are (titled “Answer questions with confidence, even if you’re lying”) addresses confidence, being creative with your answer, and bending the truth if necessary. I don’t think lying is the correct word to use here. Regardless of your audience I have always found truth to be the most successful. As for looking older I used to have a mustache and at times a beard. I thought it made me look older and required less maintenance. I no longer require facial hair to make me look older and BTW mustaches and beards do require maintenance.
The advice you give about kid conversations is something I do all the time. I am surrounded by a culture where 8 out of 10 women are pregnant or already have children. Being one of the two woman who don’t, I usually nod my head and laugh. They almost make me feel bad because I can not relate to them. Then I hear the kids screaming and crying because their ice cream fell. I look at them, nod, and laugh.
Although I do find myself talking about my children on more than one occasion ( I work for an organization where most of us have children), I totally agree that there is a proper place and time.
Always remember that work is first and foremost a professional environment…and if the kid conversation makes you uncomfortable, smile, nod and then walk away.
There is no obligation (in my oppinion) to sympathize with something you are totally out of tune with.
I also am always thought I am younger than I am - I look young and I work as a consultant. A field that corporations usually feel is the field of older retired profesionals. One thing that I have found works well when I first walk in front of a group of corporate america is - to have confidence if they smell fear they will tear you apart. This takes experience and take it were you can get it - present speeches for college - volunteer places and show reports - go to free trainings and speak to people - the more you mix and mingle the greater confidence you have the more mature you will seem -